Rescue Me, Season 3

Maggie:
[in a church] I'm having a nicotine kick, I walk into any holy building and my body chemistry goes completely ape shit.

Sean:
Don't swear in here.

Maggie:
Ape shit is not a swear word. It's a zoological term.

...

Maggie:
Can I smoke in here?

Sean:
Maggie!

Maggie:
What? He walks around burning incense all day, what's a little more smoke gonna do, right Sean? Right, Danny? [Maggie lights the cigarette]

Priest:
Uh-uh, there's no smoking in here. [he hands her a tray and she puts the cigarette on it]

Maggie:
[to Sean] He's probably gonna smoke that when we leave.

Sean:
Okay, could you cut it out, please? Jesus. [to Priest] Ooh, sorry.

Priest:
The two of you haven't come here on a dare, have you?

Sean:
No, no, seriously father, please…ignore my fiancée she's having some issues with the church and you know, we're working them out…in counseling. Uh, yes, marriage, Catholic issue counseling. It's really very helpful.

Priest:
I see. And where are you receiving this counseling?

Maggie:
Uh, Murphy's Pub on 48th.

Priest:
Okay, I think we're done here. Should, you uh, find a church that's willing to marry you, I wanna wish you both the best of luck.

Maggie:
How dare you walk out on us you sanctimonious tool. You have no idea how important this is to him.

Priest:
I assisted during an exorcism in a small village outside Nairobi in 1977, or did we meet somewhere else?