Rescue Me, Season 3

Maggie:
You just ain't returnin' any of my calls, and that ain't very polite.

Sean:
Yeah, well, you're the expert on polite. Wait, no, you're not.

Maggie:
I got you a present.

Sean:
[looks in the bag] Two avocados?

Maggie:
Yeah, well, I was tryin' to come up with a peace offering, so I thought I'd bake you a cake or something only I don't know how to cook or any of that shit, so I thought I'd go to the store and buy you a cake only they're too expensive and I can't go to my bakery because I told the guy that his cannolis tasted like cat piss. So I got the avocados, I think they're ripe.

Sean:
Well, I talked to Father Dan, or well tried to. It turns out that we have been banned from getting married anywhere near the Diocese, much less in it.

Maggie:
Well, Sean, I'm sorry, I really am. Can you not hear me say it? I'm sorry. Maggie Gavin is saying she's sorry. She must really be in love, huh? She is, Sean, in letters eight miles high.

Sean:
You know, Maggie, yesterday after your performance with the priest I went home and I was really upset and I was thinkin' about you and I threw up. And I thought to myself, well maybe I'm not the smartest guy on the planet, but maybe you shouldn't get married to someone who actually makes you throw up, okay? I don't like to puke. It's not gonna work. [hands her the avocados and walks away]

Maggie:
Sean. Sean. You're making me cry. You're such an asshole!