Rescue Me, Season 4

Maggie:
You're throwing away the porn?

Sean:
Okay, look, Maggie, a lotta wives-- they would be thrilled if their husbands were throwing away their porn they would see it as a mature and committed act, and -- and I thnk that you should see this as a real positive thing.

Maggie:
You know, that's all fine and good, Sean, only it's my porn.

Sean:
Yeah, but you don't need it anymore 'cause 'ya got me.

Maggie:
[laughs] Put the box down.

Sean:
C'mon, Maggie I just wanna be married for two seconds without--

Maggie:
No, now! You see this box? This box is your friend, it might even be your best friend because it is the only thing breathing life into our relationship right now.

Sean:
Maggie, we've been married nine months. What are you talkin' about breathin' life into the relationship?

Maggie:
Everyone needs breath, everyone needs a spark, Sean!

Sean:
Okay, and the spark is watching some girl get double teamed by guys with cocks the size of telephone poles?

Maggie:
See, now you understand.

Sean:
No, I don't understand. I don't understand, Maggie, and I don't think you understand that I might have a problem with this. You know, that this might make me feel... inferior.

Maggie:
Oh, but Sean you have nothing to feel inferior about.

Sean:
Really?

Maggie:
Well.... except for the fact that your cock isn't as big as a telephone pole. But, that's--

Sean:
That's okay, I'm going to work. You go look at your porn.

Maggie:
Sean--- Sean, you don't want your cock that big. Your life would be terrible, you would not be able to buy pants.