Rescue Me, Season 4

Teddy:
[as they are making a list of people they've hurt with their drinking] You're shittin' me, right?

Maggie:
What?

Teddy:
My name's not in your top three?

Maggie:
Excuse me. How have I hurt you with my drinkin'? Give me one for instance.

Teddy:
I had to leave the firehouse to come get you from that club from downtown. You puked all over the inside of my Cordova.

Maggie:
You know, I was 14 years old and that was the first time I ever drank!

Teddy:
All the more reason why I should be number one.

Maggie:
Am I on your list?

Teddy:
For what?

Maggie:
Christmas, '86. You grabbed my left tit, Teddy!

Teddy:
First of all, it was a slight graze. Second of all, I drank half a bowl of eggnog that night, through a straw! Third of all, most important of all, I would never, ever do such a thing.