Robot Chicken, Season 5

Gonzo:
For my next feat, I will walk across hot coals while explaining what the hell I am.

Hooded Killer:
No! For your next feat, you die!

[The Hooded Killer fires a cannon, decapitating Gonzo, and Gonzo's corpse falls on the hot coals. The scene then cuts straight to Gonzo's funeral.]

Kermit:
Gonzo died as he lived, and our family will never be whole again. And now, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Steve Martin! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!

Steve Martin:
The lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lay down-

Miss Piggy:
[interrupting] Oh, are we burying him in a Sybian?

[Camilla clucks and jumps on the coffin.]

Fozzie:
You know, the last time a Muppet died-

Steve Martin:
: [interrupting] Excuse me?

Fozzie:
Don't you mean, "Excuuuuuuuuuuuuse me"?

Steve Martin:
No, this is a funeral. I'm working. Do I come to where you work and knock the shit outta your mouth?!

Kermit:
Wow, Steve's working blue, but he's right. We vowed never to talk about that night. [the characters look at Scooter, then back at each other. Cut to Fozzie's room]

Fozzie:
And then the dam says, "the aristocrats"! Wocka, wocka!

Hooded Killer:
Hey, Fozzie. Why did the bear turn red?

Fozzie:
I don't know, stranger.

Hooded Killer:
Because he was embarrassed!

Fozzie:
[deadpan clapping] Wocka wocka.

Hooded Killer:
Then how about this? Because I f***ing stabbed him! [stabs Fozzie]

Fozzie:
What a show stopper...

Statler:
See? I told you the bear was gonna die onstage tonight.

[Statler and Waldorf laugh]

Fozzie:
Hey, guys, can you stop laughing and call me an ambulance?

Waldorf:
You're an ambulance.

[Statler and Waldorf laugh again, as the killer drags Fozzie away forcefully, and pushes a wagon on-stage]

[Wheels Squeaking]

Kermit:
First Gonzo, now Fozzie. Could we be paying the price for what we did?

Miss Piggy:
Don't say that name, Kermy.

Kermit:
Oh, Miss Piggy's telling me what to do. Wow, hey, everybody! Come here! You gotta come see this. Piggy's telling me what to do! Wow, must be a date to the why!

[Scooter is carrying props.]

Kermit:
Oh hey, uh, Scooter?

Scooter:
Oh! Hey there, boss.

Kermit:
We need to talk about Skeeter's death.

Scooter:
Why, sure. I love talking about my twin sister, if not for that tragic accident.

Kermit:
You know, I'm gonna stop you right there. I got something I gotta tell you. [Flashback to 'Muppet Babies' parody] Kermit: Let's play "The Little Mermaid"! Fozzie: Let's question Kermit's sexuality. Wocka wocka! Scooter: Hold on! Let me grab my floaties. Skeeter: What a nerd. Piggy: [clears throat] Moi will play "La Petite Mermaid". Skeeter: Mermaids aren't fat! [Smack!] Kermit: Yikes! Skeeter, if you only take my advice once in your natural life, take it now. Walk away. [Skeeter slaps Kermit away] Fozzie: Nanny! Skeeter's hitting us again! Kermit: Yeah, who's the homo now? [More smacking sounds; Skeeter gets hit by a wagon.] Kermit: If we do this thing, it's our secret forever. [All Muppet Babies agree and drown Skeeter in the pool.] All Muppet Babies: Nanny?!

[Flashback to 'Muppet Babies' parody]

Kermit:
Let's play "The Little Mermaid"!

Fozzie:
Let's question Kermit's sexuality. Wocka wocka!

Scooter:
Hold on! Let me grab my floaties.

Skeeter:
What a nerd.

Piggy:
[clears throat] Moi will play "La Petite Mermaid".

Skeeter:
Mermaids aren't fat! [Smack!]

Kermit:
Yikes! Skeeter, if you only take my advice once in your natural life, take it now. Walk away.

[Skeeter slaps Kermit away]

Fozzie:
Nanny! Skeeter's hitting us again!

Kermit:
Yeah, who's the homo now?

[More smacking sounds; Skeeter gets hit by a wagon.]

Kermit:
If we do this thing, it's our secret forever.

[All Muppet Babies agree and drown Skeeter in the pool.]

All Muppet Babies:
Nanny?!

[Back to present]

Scooter:
You killed my sister?

Kermit:
It was 60% self-defense. But we're kind of burying the lead here. And we think Skeeter's come back from the grave for revenge!

Scooter:
Oh, Skeeter will have her revenge…

[Scooter becomes Skeeter {I have absolutely no idea how taking glasses off and putting an eyeless pair makes you into Skeeter}, and Kermit and Miss Piggy scream in fear.]

Scooter/Skeeter:
[attacks Kermit] Fifteen seconds till your death!

Miss Piggy:
HIIII-YAH! [she misses] Wuh!

Scooter/Skeeter:
Here it comes. Showtime!

Camilla:
[clucking, subtitled] "Get away from her, you bitch!"

Scooter/Skeeter:
You can't shoot me. Chickens don't even have fingers.

[Camilla fires an arrow, stabbing Scooter/Skeeter in the head.]

Scooter/Skeeter:
Oooooooooh!

Steve Martin [chuckling]:
It never gets old.