Robin Hood, Series 1 (2006)

Gisborne:
It would have been nice to have dealt with Hood before the King returns. [the Sheriff laughs] What?

Sheriff:
The King is not coming.

Gisborne:
What do you mean, "the King is not coming"?

Sheriff:
He is in the Holy Land. I have arranged an imposter. Think about it: is the real King, who spent God-knows-how-long fighting in the Holy Land, going to stop off in Nottingham on his way home for a chat? A clue: no!

Gisborne:
Why?

Sheriff:
How many of our friends are against us, hm? Our pathetic lords - Merton, Woodvale, Edward, hm? How many of them are scheming, smiling at us, lying, biding their time, nodding their heads, all the while preparing for the return of their King, the precious Richard the Lionheart, preparing? Hm? To turn against us the minute he walks through that door?

Gisborne:
I don't know.

Sheriff:
None of them have ever seen the King. So, this way we find out, hm? The plots bubble to the surface! The rats come scurrying out of the woodwork!

Gisborne:
Why didn't you tell me?

Sheriff:
[sarcastic] Oh, sorry. Nothing personal, hm? Anyway, you should thank me. You get to marry the girl.

Gisborne:
Yeah, but based on a lie. The King is not really coming.

Sheriff:
Oh, isn't that despicable! I don't know how you could possibly live with yourself!