SpongeBob SquarePants, Season Three

Squidward:
Why don't you tell me all the things I shouldn't do, if I want to keep the sea bears away?

SpongeBob:
Okay, that's easy. First off, don't play the clarinet.

Squidward:
Okay. And?

SpongeBob:
Never wave a flashlight back and forth really fast.

Patrick:
Flashlights are their natural prey.

Squidward:
You're kidding.

SpongeBob:
Don't stomp around. They take that as a challenge.

Squidward:
[jotting down notes onto a pad of paper] Go on!

SpongeBob:
Never eat cheese.

Squidward:
Sliced, or cubed?

[Patrick and SpongeBob have a quick discussion]

SpongeBob:
Cubed. Sliced is fine.

Squidward:
Yeah? Yeah?

SpongeBob:
Never wear a sombrero--

Patrick:
--in a goofy fashion.

SpongeBob:
Or clown shoes.

Patrick:
Or a hoop skirt.

SpongeBob:
And never--

Patrick:
--ever--

SpongeBob:
--EVER--

Patrick:
GUH!

SpongeBob & Patrick:
--SCREECH LIKE A CHIMPANZEEEEEE!

Squidward:
Wow! It's amazing how so many things can set a sea bear off.

SpongeBob & Patrick:
[hugging each other] They're horrible!

Squidward:
And, all of a sudden, I have the sense we're all in danger.

SpongeBob & Patrick:
Why?

Squidward:
I don't know. [disappears and returns two seconds later wearing a sombrero, a hoop skirt, clown shoes, and holding a flashlight in one hand and a platter of cubed cheese in the other] Just a feeling!

SpongeBob:
No.

Squidward:
Yes.

SpongeBob:
No!

[Squidward starts screeching like a chimpanzee]

SpongeBob & Patrick:
SQUIDWARD, PLEASE DON'T!

[Squidward screeches like a chimpanzee louder, leaning left and right]