Barney Miller, Season 2

Mr. Burgess:
[complaining about having to wait to apply for a gun permit] What am I supposed to do? I mean, what if I get held up in the meantime?

Chano:
Okay, Mr. Burgess, okay, I'm gonna tell you what to do. As a matter of fact, I'm gonna give you a demonstration. Now you take your finger, point it at me, and say "Stick 'em up." [Burgess hesitates] Come on.

Mr. Burgess:
Stick 'em up.

Chano:
See, here's what you do if you're smart. Here, take this. There's my wallet, there's my keys, huh? There's my comb. See? You understand? That's how you fool them, Mr. Burgess, huh? Because nothing you give them is worth much anyway, right? So, he gets nothing, and you live to buy more junk until the next idiot comes along and says, "Stick 'em up." But the fewer guns there are out there, Mr. Burgess, the less guys there will be to come around and say, "Stick 'em up." And someday [praying in Spanish] your junk will be safe! [takes his belongings back] In the meantime, get out of here.

Mr. Burgess:
I'm going to move someplace where the police have everything under control.

Chano:
Yeah? All right, go to Miami and turn left to Havana!