Titus, Season 2

Titus (2000-2002) is a dark comedy based on the life of stand-up comedian Christopher Titus. more »

Titus:
Dad, you know she can't work in a place like that. You should have done something.

Ken:
All right, how much?

Titus:
Something. Anything. Just get her the hell out of there.

Ken:
Numbnuts, how much money do you want to keep her from working there?

Titus:
"Numbuts"?

Ken:
Erin is not going to work at that bar! I don't want to have to check every waitress' face before I pinch her behind. [opens his checkbook] Three grand?

Titus:
What?

Ken:
Five grand.

Titus:
You know, you're amazing? My business is going under, you won't lend me money. I start drinking again, you don't lend me money. But my girlfriend makes you uncomfortable about staring at the nipples of disturbed ex-cheerleaders, and all of sudden you're willing to fork over five grand? Well, you know something, dad? I'll take it!

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