Top Gear, Series 6

[During the news]

Richard:
And the big news this week is Jeremy has been banned from driving for six months. Yes he has! [Audience cheers and applauds] I know! What do we do?

James:
I'm really sorry to disappoint you, but I have to point out that it wasn't his local magistrate that banned him, it was his doctor!

Richard:
It was and that's why it's taking him so long to get to the stage! [Jeremy slowly approaches the stage] Ooh, you look like you're in pain.

Jeremy:
Yes, I am. I have a top speed of one.

Richard:
What have you done?

Jeremy:
I slipped two discs in my back and they told me not to drive or write. Thank you so much for that! That's kind of what I do!