Top Gear, Series 7

Jeremy:
I have an announcement to make. Top Gear, this... pokey motor show on BBC2, this week won-I've got it here-in New York, an Emmy! We've won an Emmy! Check it out!"

Richard:
Wow! Can I touch it?

Jeremy:
What this is for, okay, is for the best non-scripted entertainment show that wasn't made in America. That's us!

Richard:
Why didn't you go and pick up the award from the ceremony?

Jeremy:
Well, because I was writing the script for this week's show.

Richard:
Thing is though, when the Office, you remember that sitcom series?... won some Golden... Globes recently, the whole of the BBC ground to a halt while everyone said congratulations and... they were showered with, like, gifts, and gold and diamonds...

Jeremy:
It's true, the director general of the BBC spent a whole week rubbing warm pig fat into the back of Ricky Gervais.

Richard:
So, how many chocolate covered lap dancers do you think were sent to us?

Jeremy:
[to the audience] How many do you reckon? Not a damn thing!

Richard:
Nothing!

Jeremy:
And if you think that's outrageous, then please write to us, as of Monday, to Top Gear, Channel 4 television...