Top Gear, Series 13

[during the news]

Jeremy:
As men, we all know that you should never, ever buy a woman something with a plug on it. Yeah? We know that.

James:
I did.

Jeremy:
What?

James:
I did.

Jeremy:
You bought your girlfriend an electrical appliance.

James:
Yeah, I got her a power drill.

Richard:
James! James, she's a ballet correspondent.

James:
Well, that's what she wanted! She said "I want that power drill," so I got it for her!

Jeremy:
No, she said that, James, but - do you know nothing? Women say they want a power drill, but they don't, they want soap. Women always - they do!

James:
Yeah, but it's impossible to buy soap for a woman.

Richard:
Eh? No, hang on, soap's soap. You can't -

Jeremy:
Oho!

James:
Hah!

Jeremy:
Whoa ho! Did you hear that, girls? "Soap is soap."

Richard:
Well, it is! It's just -

Jeremy:
Go on, then, buy your wife some Swarfega.

Richard:
Well, that's great! That's an effective cleaning agent! She'd be chuffed, I'm sure!

Jeremy:
However. The worst thing you would ever have to buy, ever have to buy a girl is a handbag.

Richard:
That's pretty bad.

Jeremy:
Because, even if by some miracle you got the right colour, it would be the wrong shape, it wouldn't have the right number of pockets, it would be last season's handbag-

James:
Is there a season for handbags?

[laughter]

Jeremy:
Did you hear? Is...oh yes!

James:
What, there's certain times of the year I can shoot handbags and it's okay?

Richard:
Yep.

[more laughter]

Jeremy:
No, the fact is, okay, my wife has a handbag; I kid you not, it is this big. [holds up paper cup] And in it, she'll go, "I've lost my mobile phone! Ring it! Ring it, ring it! And you'll say, "If it's in there, you must be able to see it-", "I can't see it!"