Top Gear

Jeremy:
[voiceover] The next morning, we were told our problem would not be gunk, but dust, so James and I had to rethink our wardrobe solutions.

[Camera switches to show Jeremy heavily-clad in clothing]

Jeremy:
I've teamed my kikoi with a bin liner, v-necked, last time I wore one of these, ah, I went to see The Clash. [voiceover] Frankly, I all thought it was a bit much. I mean, How bad could this dust be?

[Camera switches to all Jeremy, Richard and James driving through a massive dust storm]

Jeremy:
AHHHHHHH! MY EYES!

James:
Oh god, this is awful, I can't even see Jezza already [coughs heavily]

Richard:
[voiceover] Meanwhile in my unmodified Kadett...

[Camera switches to Richard in Oliver the Opel, who is unbothered by the dust due to refusing to strip his car out]

Richard:
I'll adjust this quarterlight a bit, ah that's better.

Jeremy:
Oh no, no, NO! Look at this bit now.

James:
[his kikoy falls off] The kikoy's come off. [coughs heavily] Hello?

Jeremy:
[voiceover] James and I made it through the dust with our lives considerably shortened.

Jeremy:
[to James] I've got consumption and TB.

James:
[coughs heavily]

Jeremy:
I've got every single 1920's disease.