Top Gear

[while trying to push the barge themselves, Jeremy begins to sink into the mud underwater]

Jeremy:
As I sank into the ooze, my colleagues became increasingly concerned]

Richard:
[laughing in complete hysterics] His plums are in the Amazon, look!

Jeremy:
Do you know the worst thing?

Richard:
What?

Jeremy:
I need to pee.

James:
You haven't had a pee in there?!

Richard:
In there?!

Jeremy:
I am doing.

James:
You really shouldn't do that.

Jeremy:
Why?

James:
Because of that little whatsit fish?

Richard:
It swims up your- it does, and they have them down here definitely and categorically.

James:
It swims up the -

Jeremy:
It'll just fall out again.

James:
No, no, no, no. It's like a fish hook in reverse.

Richard:
When it gets up there, it just ... [imitates spikes sprouting from his head]

Jeremy:
Stop talking rubbish!