True Blood, Season 1

Lafayette:
You look like a porn star with that tan and pink lipstick. You got a date?

Sookie:
No. When I wear makeup, I get bigger tips.

Lafayette:
[laughing] Yes, girl. Let's hear it! These damn rednecks are suckers for packaging.

Sookie:
And I get even bigger tips when I act like I don't have a brain in my head. But if I don't, they're all scared of me.

Lafayette:
They ain't scared of you, honey child. They're scared of what's between your legs.

Sookie:
Lafayette! That's nasty talk, I won't listen to that.

Arlene:
Do you even know what's between a woman's legs, Lafayette?

Lafayette:
I know ever man, whether straight, gay, or George motherf***in Bush is terrified of the pussy!

Sookie:
Lafayette!

Dawn:
Ooh, what are we talkin about?!

Lafayette:
Pussy.

Arlene:
Hey, listen. Not everybody is gay, okay? Not everybody wants to have sex with you.

Lafayette:
Oh, you would be surprised, Arlene. People you know... that's all I'm sayin.

Dawn:
Well, I don't wanna have sex with you.

Arlene:
Me neither.

Lafayette:
Y'all bitches don't know what you're missing. I got six gears up in these hips!

Dawn:
No, baby. You don't know what you're missing. You can watch it walk away. Make you wanna slap it?

Lafayette:
Everybody know that. Everybody been there. John been there.

Arlene:
Take these, baby. Peaches and cream.

Lafayette:
I'll give you a little cocoa. Little cocoa. Ain't that right, John? Shit.