Two and a Half Men, Season 2

Charlie:
Well, what if you were dating?

Alan:
But I'm not.

Charlie:
But what if it looked like you were dating?

Alan:
Oh, oh, you mean-- no, no way. I-- I'm not gonna let you fix me up with one of your bimbo girlfriends.

Charlie:
OK, forget it.

Alan:
She'd have to be really pretty, like a... like a ten. And young, like a twenty.

Charlie:
Anything else?

Alan:
Uh, and smart. Uh, and a sense of humor's important. Uh, well-read, uh, good with kids, uh, non-smoking, of course... ooh, and, uh, easy on the piercings. Nothing south of the equator.

Charlie:
You're mighty picky for a guy with an adult newsstand in his sock drawer.