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Two and a Half Men, Season 3

Two and a Half Men (2003-present) is a TV series original centered around a hip single bachelor whose lifestyle is interrupted when his newly separated brother and his son move in. more »

Alan:
Incredible! I've been living here for two years, and you still consider me a houseguest.

Charlie:
No, my houseguests bring a bottle of wine and have sex with me.

Alan:
Oh, I'm sorry, I'll go get some Chardonnay and assume the position.

Charlie:
Hey, don't be letting your mouth write checks your ass can't cash.

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