Two and a Half Men, Season 3

Charlie:
Look, if you knew me at all and shut me down, it would be one thing, but to be dismissed on a simple "hello", well, that's a tough pill to swallow.

Mia:
Would you rather I give it to you in a suppository?

Charlie:
Well, to be perfectly honest...

Mia:
Good-bye. [leaves]

Alan:
Hey, hey, did you hear that?

Charlie:
What?

Alan:
It's a... it's a fat lady, and she's... singing.

Charlie:
You'd give up right now, wouldn't you?

Alan:
Charlie, Elvis has left the building! I mean, giving up is a little moot at this point.

Charlie:
Yeah, well, that kind of attitude is why you sleep alone with a copy of Monster Boobs magazine under your pillow.

Alan:
Stay out of my room.