Two and a Half Men, Season 3

Charlie:
Hey, listen, about this "living without sex" thing, I was hoping you can give me a little advice.

Alan:
Me? What would make you think of me?

Charlie:
Well, I figured you get laid less often than a boil-covered dwarf, am I right?

Alan:
I don't have the actual statistics, but go on.

Charlie:
Well, you must get really frustrated. I mean, how do you stop yourself from, you know, running a red light and then taunting the cop 'til he shoots you?

Alan:
Ah, good question. Uh, I found that the best thing to do is to focus on your career, uh, get a hobby, uh, become involved in community activities, and at the end of the day, if you have any energy left, find a quiet space and yank it like a monkey in a mango tree.