Two and a Half Men, Season 3

Jake:
Hey, how come my mom hates Kandi?

Charlie:
What gave you the idea that she hates her?

Jake:
'Cause she says so... a lot.

Charlie:
All right. Why do you think?

Jake:
I dunno. She's pretty, she's fun, and Dad seems real happy with her.

Charlie:
Well, little man, you just answered your own question.

Jake:
I did? What'd I say?

Charlie:
It's like this: You ever see a kid at school who doesn't like his lunch but he won't let you have it either?

Jake:
Oh, yeah. Russell Beasley. He'll spit on his apple cobbler before he'll let anybody else eat it.

Charlie:
Well, this is pretty much the same deal, except your mom is Russell Beasley, and your dad is the spit-covered cobbler.

Jake:
I don't understand.

Charlie:
Even though your mom doesn't want your dad, she doesn't want Kandi to eat him, either.

Jake:
Oh.