Two and a Half Men, Season 4

Jake:
Hey!

Charlie:
Oh, [...] finally up the phone.

Jake:
Yeah.

Charlie:
When do you get Wendy [...] the necklace?

Jake(depressed):
I'm not.

Charlie(mocking):
What happened? Checkin'out?

Jake(depressed):
No.

Charlie(reproachful):
I don't believe it! You [...] my ass alway down of the mall. I [...] up 40 [...] for the necklace and you checkin' out?

Jake(loud):
She has dumped me old turd!

Charlie(suprised):
Oh, you couldn't tell me that before I started being an old turd?

Jake(disappointed):
I'm only twelve. I need a time machine.

Charlie:
Dude, I am really sorry. What happened?

Jake:
She decided she has a problem with mixed relationships.

Charlie(perplexed):
What, chinese and [...]?

Jake:
[...] and [...].

Charlie:
Ooooooh!

Jake:
Yeah well, I'm done with relationships. From now on I'm gonna be like you.

Charlie:
Why would you wanna be like me?

Jake:
'Cause you never fall in love with anybody, so you never get hurt.

Charlie:
Okay, listen to me. Being hurt sucks...but love is the most beautiful and noble of human emotions. It's what gives the man hope. What gives his live meaning. Don't turnin' back on love Jake. I did. And I reget it every day.

Jake(hopefully):
Really?

Charlie:
Might God strike me down if I'm lying. [Looks up and whispers: Thank you!] Alright, game's over! Let's go!

Jake:
Where we going?

Charlie:
[...] your dad out of jail.

Jake:
[...]

Charlie:
Sure, why not.