Two and a Half Men, Season 4

Alan:
When Judith was pregnant with Jake, I-- I don't know if it was hormones or pheromones, but... she just couldn't get enough of me. And ever since then, every time I see a pregnant woman I just... [lustful moan]

Charlie:
OK, seriously, you got to stop that.

Alan:
I am telling you, it was nine months of the hottest sex we've ever had, even with the morning sickness and hemorrhoids.

Charlie:
Oh. Maybe that explains Jake's grades.

Alan:
The morning sickness and hemorrhoids?

Charlie:
No, the repeated blows to his unformed head.

Alan:
You are-- are such an idiot. All the experts agree that sex during pregnancy is not harmful to the baby.

Charlie:
Experts, schmexperts. Tonight when you're sleeping, I'm gonna come in and start poking you in the ear with a hot dog. See how you like it.