Two and a Half Men, Season 5

Charlie:
Hey.

Alan:
Hey.

Charlie:
How'd it go with Gabrielle?

Alan:
I think you know how it went.

Charlie:
Yeah, I do. It's kinda like necrophilia, isn't it?

Alan:
I didn't go through with it.

Charlie:
Really?

Alan:
Guess we're different that way. (pause) So... I didn't really steal her from you, did I?

Charlie:
Nope.

Alan:
You were trying to get rid of her the whole time, weren't you?

Charlie:
Yep. But I didn't want to hurt her feelings. Thanks for helping me out with that.

Alan:
Well, at least now we're even, right?

Charlie:
Not quite.

Alan:
What do you mean?

Charity:
(appears) Charlie. Are you coming back to bed?

Alan:
Charity? Charity Kirschenbaum?

Charity:
Oh, hi, Alan. Long time no see.

Alan:
Yeah. 20 years.

Charlie:
She looks great, doesn't she? Come on, baby.

Alan:
But, but, but...

Charlie:
Now we're even. (leaves with Charity; Alan gets enraged to the point where he says...)

Alan:
[yelling from distance] I... HATE... YOOOOOOOOUUUU!