Two and a Half Men, Season 5

[Charlie is on the couch, sick]

Charlie:
Hello? Anybody here? Anybody gonna take care of good old Charlie? OK, then. [picks up the phone] Time to scrape the bottom of the barrel. [on the phone]: Mommy, I don't feel good!

Evelyn:
Charles, don't tell me you've got a case of the Bangkok Drippy-Drip. [to her pedicurist]: No offense.

Charlie:
No, it's either a cold or a flu

Evelyn:
And this concerns me how?

Charlie:
I thought you could make me some soup or put a cold wet cloth on my head.

Evelyn:
Oh darling, I'd love to, but, unfortunately, Mommy's sick too

[Evelyn holds her phone up to the pedicurist, who is coughing violently due the the nail polish}

Charlie:
That does sound bad.

Evelyn:
Oh, it is.

Pedicurist:
[In Thai, subtitled] I hate painting the hooves of this white she-bitch.

Charlie:
What was that?

Evelyn:
Oh, just my delerious fever babble. Bye dear.

[hangs up]