Two and a Half Men, Season 6

Alan:
Oh, Charlie. Your penis is no match for my technology.

[Charlie enters Alan's room]

Charlie:
OK, I know what you're doing, now quit it!

Alan:
What I'm doing? Whatever do you mean?

Charlie:
You're text-blocking me.

Alan:
Hey, I can't help it if Chelsea finds me witty and urbane.

Charlie:
Keep it up, and she's gonna find you bloody and homeless.

Alan:
You don't scare me, Charlie. You need me to keep Chelsea off your back

Charlie:
That may be true, but I don't need him! [Grabs Danny and grasps his head, threatening to pull it off]

Alan:
Just let him go, Charlie, this is between you and me.

Charlie:
Not anymore.

Alan:
Don't you dare hurt him!

Charlie:
Well now, that's entirely up to you. His tiny wooden head is in your hands.