The Venture Bros., Season 2

The Monarch:
(sighing) Jollyrancher82, never get henchmen.

Jollyrancher82:
You know, that's not my real name.

The Monarch:
Well, how was I supposed to know? I used my real name.

Jollyrancher82:
I just thought, you know... "The Monarch," I thought you were into cosplay...

The Monarch:
Real name! And I am into costumed business, not costumed play. (seeing Dr. Girlfriend walk in) Shit! They're here! Fawn over me! Treat me as if I were candy!!

Jollyrancher82:
Wow, she's gorgeous.

The Monarch:
She is heat incarnate. When I met her, she looked like that girl Saffron from the band Republica. She had those red streaky things in her hair.

Jollyrancher82:
I heard that she was (whispering) kind of manly.

The Monarch:
That's ridiculous, who would say such things? The woman is a delicate flower. That chode she's with, that's Phantom Limb. When he was in college, he was a scrawny little wuss. In a desperate attempt to be cooler than guys like me, he had his 12-year-old roommate create a machine that speeds up the muscle building process. The machine worked so well that every molecule in his extremities was accelerated beyond the speed of light. There were two side effects. One! He could mess up a guy just by touching him. And two! He became a humorless dick!