[Phantom Limb is outside his garden bird shooting]
Monarch:
Apparently, you lost your hearing as well as your arms. I said I'm getting married to your girlfriend!
Phantom Limb:
Yes, yes. I heard you.
Monarch:
You surprise me, Limb. You're taking this pretty well. I thought you'd try to kill me.
Phantom Limb:
I'm no fool, Monarch. You don't live with a woman and not know when this is coming. You don't dine on the bounty of a woman's flesh and not know what she's thinking.
Monarch:
OK, OK.
Phantom Limb:
You don't drive your manhood over and over into a woman and...
Monarch:
Yes, stop. I get it! Just give me her shit and let me go. She needs something old.
Phantom Limb:
In due time. I thought we'd have a nice chat first. There's one. [Shoots Mr. Monday]
Monarch:
Was that Mr. Monday?
Phantom Limb:
Oh yes. You two were in prison together, were you not?
Monarch:
I saw him... around. I think.
Phantom Limb:
You'd be surprised at the array of wildlife here on the grounds. Wonder what other game we could scare up. [Shoots Dr. Septapus out of the tree]
Monarch:
Dr... Septapus?
Phantom Limb:
Oh, don't tell me, Not another one of your former prison mates? What are the odds? [Shoots him again]
Monarch:
All right, Limb. What's going on here?
Phantom Limb:
Just disposing of some vermin. Terrible, the havoc they can wreak on a meticulously manicured lawn, you know. [Shoots White-Noise]
Monarch:
OK, OK, fine. So what did you do? Bust all these guys out of jail just to show me how ruthless you are?
Phantom Limb:
What do you take me for, a common thug? Of course not. I hired them an excellent appeals attorney. And there he is.
[Tiny Attorney appears naked out of the bush]
Tiny Attorney:
Please! Phantom Limb! I did everything you asked!
[Phantom Limb shoots him]
Phantom Limb:
I'm a reasonable man, Monarch. But don't think for a moment that I will forget this. Revenge, like gazpacho soup is best served cold, precise and merciless.
Monarch:
Oh, yeah. You can never have enough precision in your soup. Look, nut-job, I hate these traitorous dinks more than you do! So shoot whoever you want.
[Phantom Limb intensely points the shotgun at Monarch's face]
Phantom Limb:
Go. Her shit is by the door in a box marked "Hers."
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