The West Wing, Season One

Bartlet:
I want you to know that I had a number of people on my staff search for a reason the public would find palatable to commute the sentence. Technicality. Any evidence of racism.

Father Cavanaugh:
So your staff spent the weekend looking for a way out.

Bartlet:
Yeah.

Father Cavanaugh:
Like the kid in right field who doesn't want the ball to get hit to him.

Bartlet:
I'm the leader of a democracy, Tom. 71% of the people support capital punishment. The people have spoken. The courts have spoken.

Father Cavanaugh:
Did you call the Pope?

Bartlet:
Yeah.

Father Cavanaugh:
And how do you do that?

Bartlet:
Oh, for crying out loud, Tom. I open my mouth and say, "Somebody get me the Pope."

Father Cavanaugh:
[raising a finger to emphasize his point] Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. President, but I was thinking... [pause] You're just this kid from my parish, and now you're calling the Pope.

Bartlet:
Anyway...I looked for a way out, I really did.

Father Cavanaugh:
"Vengeance is mine," sayeth the Lord. You know what that means? God is the only one who gets to kill people.

Bartlet:
I know.

Father Cavanaugh:
That was your way out.

Bartlet:
I know.

Father Cavanaugh:
Did you pray?

Bartlet:
I did, Tom. I know it's hard to believe, but I prayed for wisdom.

Father Cavanaugh:
And none came?

Bartlet:
It never has. And I'm a little pissed off about that. [glances at his watch as it hits midnight] I'm not kidding.

Father Cavanaugh:
You know, you remind me of the man that lived by the river. He heard a radio report that the river was going to rush up and flood the town. And that all the residents should evacuate their homes. But the man said, "I'm religious. I pray. God loves me. God will save me."

The waters rose up. A guy in a row boat came along and he shouted, "Hey, hey you! You in there. The town is flooding. Let me take you to safety." But the man shouted back, "I'm religious. I pray. God loves me. God will save me."

A helicopter was hovering overhead. And a guy with a megaphone shouted, "Hey you, you down there. The town is flooding. Let me drop this ladder and I'll take you to safety." But the man shouted back that he was religious, that he prayed, that God loved him and that God will take him to safety.

Well... the man drowned. And standing at the gates of St. Peter, he demanded an audience with God. "Lord," he said, "I'm a religious man, I pray. I thought you loved me. Why did this happen?" God said, "I sent you a radio report, a helicopter, and a guy in a rowboat. What the hell are you doing here?" [pause] He sent you a priest, a rabbi, and a Quaker, Mr. President. Not to mention his son, Jesus Christ. What do you want from him?