The Big Bang Theory, Season 5

Raj:
Anybody else? Huh? No? Okay! It all comes down to me, as the best man. [Stands up] Ooo, this grasshopper's kicking my ass-hopper. Okay okay, when I first came to this country, I, I didn't know how to behave, or how to dress, or what was cool, I was pretty lonely. But, then I met Howard and suddenly my life changed, because, we could be lonely together. This man became my whole world!

Kripke:
Yeah, nice speech Fwancine! [Tucks some cash into his pants]

Raj:
I'm not done but, thank you! I think back, to all the good times we had, like uh, when we went camping, and spent that night telling each other all our secrets.... I told him, I'm addicted to pedicures, and he told me he lost his virginity to his cousin. [Everybody laughs]

Howard:
She was my second cousin.

Sheldon:
And the first woman you ever disappointed sexually. Bada-bazinga!

Raj:
Oh, oh yeah, and then there was a time when Leonard and I took Howard to Las Vegas and, and paid a hooker to pretend she was Jewish, and that she wanted his little Kosher pickle. [Everybody laughs again] Of all the Howard-humping-hooker stories, that was my favorite!

Howard:
Okay, buddy! That's it. Sit down.

Raj:
Oh, oh, what about that tubby girl in the Sailor Moon costume at Comic-con?

Howard:
Don't remember. Please sit down.

Raj:
The only threesome I've ever had in my whole life. And I'm proud to say it was with this man, right here! '[Everybody laughs]

Howard:
Please, shut up.

Raj:
Oh, oh, don't get me wrong. Nothing happened with me and Howard. There was about 200 pounds of Sailor Moon between us!

Wil Wheaton:
Oh Internet, this is SO going all over you!.

Sheldon:
[Laughs] Jeepers, I'm drunk! [Clinks his glass with Wheaton's]