The Big Bang Theory, Season 6

Sheldon:
[Knock, knock, knock on the wall above Penny's bed] Penny? [Knock, knock, knock] Penny? [Knock, knock, knock] Penny? [Penny wakes up and screams. Sheldon also screams]

Penny:
Oh, my God, Sheldon?!

Sheldon:
You frightened me!

Penny:
What are you doing in my bedroom?

Sheldon:
Yeah, well, I knocked on the front door, but you didn't hear it.

Penny:
How did you even get in, you weirdo?

Sheldon:
Yeah, really? I've seen strange men traipsing in and out of here for years, but when I do it, it's weird?

Penny:
What do you want, Sheldon?

Sheldon:
Oh, I was having a little trouble sleeping and I just thought, uh, seeing as you're up, we could talk.

Penny:
Talk about what?

Sheldon:
Oh, I don't know, uh, weather, uh, fish you could do carpentry with, why Leonard is such an attractive and desirable boyfriend? Yeah, pick one, your choice.

Penny:
Sheldon.

Sheldon:
Did you know that Leonard has a perfect driving record and enjoys the insurance discounts that go along with that? Hubba-hubba.

Penny:
Okay, go home, crazy man.

Sheldon:
Yeah. Did you know that while Leonard is not considered a tall fellow in our country, in today's North Korea, he's downright average. Hey, talk about a keeper.

Penny:
Okay, what did Amy tell you?

Sheldon:
Oh, very well. I can't keep up this clever charade any longer. She told me that you were thinking of ending it with Leonard.

Penny:
Okay, you listen to me. I think it's really sweet you're trying to protect your friend, but this is none of your business. Got it?

Sheldon:
Excuse me. This is not about protecting my friend. I'm a big fan of homeostasis. Do you know what that is?

Penny:
Of course not!

Sheldon:
Homeostasis refers to a system's ability to regulate its internal environment and maintain a constant condition of properties like temperature or pH.

Penny:
Worst bedtime story ever!

Sheldon:
My point is, I don't like when things change. So, regardless of your feelings, I would like you to continue dating Leonard. And also, while we're on the subject, you recently changed your shampoo. I'm not comfortable with the new scent. Please stop this madness and go back to green apple.

Penny:
Okay, honey, I have a lot to figure out, and until I do, you are not to say a word to Leonard. Do you understand?

Sheldon:
I do. You clear on the shampoo issue?

Penny:
Get out.

Sheldon:
[Turns to go, then stops] Penny?

Penny:
What?

Sheldon:
...Please don't hurt my friend.

Penny:
[Sighs] That is the last thing I want to do.

Sheldon:
[turns to leave, but turns back] Coconut, what were you thinking? Are you a hula girl now?