The Young Ones, Series 2

Rick:
I feel sorry for you, you zeros! You nobodies! What's going to live on after you die? I'll tell you: nothing! That's what! [struggling to hang himself] Oh, this is pathetic!

[he gives up trying to hang himself, then sees a jar of pills and attempts to overdose]

Neil:
[upon seeing Rick eating the pills] Vyv, Vyv--er, can you, like, actually kill yourself with laxative pills?

Vyvyan:
I don't know Neil, but I'm going to stay and find out!

Neil:
I think I'm going up to my room for a bit!

[Rick swallows pills in front of Neil as he leaves]

Rick:
This house will become a shrine, and punks and skins and rastas will all gather round and hold their hands in sorrow for their fallen leader. And all the grown-ups will say, "But why are the kids crying?" And the kids will say, "Haven't you heard? Rick is dead! The People's Poet is dead!"

[Vyvyan crouches down to watch Rick's rear as he talks]

Rick:
And then one particularly sensitive and articulate teenager will say, "Other kids, do you understand nothing? How can Rick be dead when we still have his poems?" And then another kid will say... [he then farts loudly and realises what he's been taking]

Pack of matches:
Don't look at me. I'm irrelevant.