A Series of Unfortunate Events, Season 3

Man with a Beard but no Hair:
You look lost.

Count Olaf:
[scoffs] How can I be lost? There are signs everywhere, which seems kind of dumb for a secret organization.

Woman with Hair but no Beard:
We meant figuratively. [They step forward]

Count Olaf:
Who are you? [stiffens] Wait... You're that man with the hair and the woman with the beard, or vice versa! I've heard about you.

Man with a Beard but no Hair:
And vice versa. We know what happened at the opera.

Woman with Hair but no Beard.:
And we know how you've spent your nights since.

Man with a Beard but no Hair:
Wandering these tunnels.

Woman with Hair but no Beard:
Directionless.

Man with a Beard but no Hair:
Alone.

Count Olaf:
...Have you been following me?

Man with a Beard but no Hair:
With great interest, for some time.

Woman with Hair but no Beard:
Your friends in V.F.D. betrayed you, but a young man with your talents doesn't need friends.

Man with a Beard but no Hair:
He needs guidance.

Count Olaf:
I'll pass. I'm a tortured, brooding loner now. I've even taken up journaling. I'd rather be alone.

Woman with Hair but no Beard:
Why, what a pity.

Man with a Beard but no Hair:
There's so much we could teach you. [Olaf looks intrigued]

Lemony Snicket:
Bad mentors can lead you down a slippery slope, whether you encounter them years later at the top of a mountain, or you belong to their acting troupe.