Blackadder

[Blackadder has fallen asleep rewriting the dictionary]

Baldick:
Mr Blackadder, time to wake up.

Blackadder:
What time is it?

Baldrick:
Monday morning.

Blackadder:
[Panicking] Monday morning? Oh my god, I've overslept! Where's the quill? Where's the parchment?

Baldrick:
I dunno. Maybe Doctor Johnson has got some with him.

Blackadder:
WHAT?!

Baldrick:
He's outside!

Blackadder:
[Screams in horror] AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

[Johnson enters]

Johnson:
Are you ill, sir?

Blackadder:
No, you can't have it! I know I said Monday, but I want Baldrick to read it. Which, unfortunately, will mean teaching him to read, which will take about 10 years. But time well spent, I think, because it is such a very good dictionary!

Johnson:
I don't think so.

Blackadder:
Oh God, we've been burgled! ... What?

Johnson:
I think it's an awful dictionary full of feeble definitions and ridiculous verbiage. I've come to ask you to chuck the damned thing in the fire.

Blackadder:
Are you sure?

Johnson:
I've never been more sure of anything in my life, sir.

Blackadder:
I love you, Doctor Johnson, and I want to have your babies. [They embrace, before a random woman appears behind Johnson] Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me, Doctor Johnson, but my Auntie Margery's just arrived. [Turns around - Baldrick now has a dog's head] Baldrick? Who gave you permission to turn into an Alsatian?! [Baldrick waves] Oh God, it's a dream, isn't it? [Johnson, Baldrick and Auntie Margery dance out of the scene, a la sugar plum fairies] It's a bloody dream! Doctor Johnson doesn't want us to burn his dictionary at all.