Blackadder

Baldrick:
Go on my lord. Give it a little pull, you know you want to, it will be ever so exciting...

Blackadder:
[completely uninterested] Oh, god...[Blackadder pulls the tiny Christmas cracker with Baldrick. There isn't a bang] [sarcastic] Yes, terrifying.

Baldrick:
And look, there's a surprise present inside. It's a novelty death warrant, and you give it to a friend.

[Baldrick gives the death warrant to Blackadder]

Blackadder:
[sarcastic] Oh, just what I've always wanted.[crumples it into a ball]

Baldrick:
Have you got anything for me?

Lord Blackadder:
Oh it's nothing, really!

Baldrick:
[touched] Oh sir!

Lord Blackadder:
No, it's really nothing; I haven't got you anything. I spent all my cash on this damn thing for the Queen. [reveals a portrait of Elizabeth I] She'd better bloody like it, she dropped enough hints! That woman's about as subtle as a rhinocero's horn up the backside! Door!