10 Things I Hate About You

Bianca:
How do I look?

Kat:
Shallow.

Bianca:
(happy) Thank you!

Kat:
What do you want?

Patrick:
What you mean?

Kat:
I mean... Do you wanna deal me drugs? or steal my car? or harvest my organs? - Why are people scared of you?

Patrick:
Why are people scared of you?

Kat:
People are not scared of me...

Patrick:
[smiling] : Sure they are. That's why I find you interesting [he goes away in his motorcycle]

Bianca:
[to Kat] You've ruined my chances of being popular!

Kat:
I'm sorry, but that girl sucks. She's a teen-aged Kim Jong II.

Bianca:
Speak English, you show-off!

Kat:
Kim Jong II, the dictator of North Korea!

Kat:
[to Patrick] Why are people scared of you?

Patrick:
Why are people scared of you?

Kat:
People are not scared of me.

Patrick:
Sure they are. That's why I find you interesting.

Chastity:
My neck is sore.

Kat:
That's probably from flipping your hair too much.

Kat:
Dad, you realize we know where babies come from, right?

Walter:
Do you realize where they come out? Trust me. Not pretty.

Kat and Bianca:
Dad!

Walter:
What's wrong with being popular? I loved it. I loved being captain of the football team... president of the Student Council. Any girl I wanted.

Kat:
Dad, that was Uncle Jimmy.

Walter:
So, it was.

(Kat confronting Chastity in the locker room)

Kat:
I'm here to talk about my sister.

Chastity:
Oh, what a coincidence! I was just about to send her to social Siberia.

Cameron:
(to the angry crowd who realizes that there is no beer in the party) See, I didn't realize that the person who throws the party is also supposed to supply the alcohol. But I have a surprise! (pulls on a string to reveal a piñata)

Chastity:
(about Kat) Of the ten things I hate about today, she is number one, number five, and number eight.

Bianca:
Great speech. Very inspiring.

Chastity:
Yeah, but no one cried.

Kat:
We are going to high school, not the Academy Awards.

Bianca:
You never get a second chance to make a first impression.

Michael:
Cameron, how's it going?

Cameron:
Not so good. I feel weird. Ever since Bianca got here, my head has been filled with rainbows and Enya.

Bianca:
Kat, I need your help.

Kat:
Finally. The first step is admitting you have a problem. The next step is making you a brunette again.

Larry:
You girls are late. Where were you?

Bianca:
We were having sex with the soccer team. It took longer than expected.

Bianca:
I thought I'd learn the routine because, God forbid, someone gets sick or hurt or pregnant. Thanks a lot, Juno!

Chastity:
[about the fund-raiser] Okay, but no bake sale. The last thing this school needs is more fat people

Kat:
High school is like Vietnam and these stupid flowers are Agent Orange.

Kat:
[about the yearbook pictures she took] It looks like one of those herpes commercials where everybody is so happy despite the fact that they have herpes.

Kat:
[after Walter suggests to Bianca to have a car wash for a fund raiser] Great idea, Dad! Half-naked cheerleaders, wet and soapy, standing on a street asking for money.

Dr. Walter Stratford:
No car wash.

Bianca:
Daddy.

Dr. Walter Stratford:
No car wash!

Mandella:
So you're not hoping to get a carnation? Not even a little tiny bit?

Kat:
From who? Every guy here has the depth of an inflatable kiddy pool.

Bianca:
Mail me to another family.

Delivery Lady:
Okay, but first, here's your dad's package.

Bianca:
I don't wanna think about my dad's package.

Mandella:
That was awesome. It's like your mouth knows kung-fu!

'Charlie:
(after leaving a carnation on Kat's desk) I showed you my flower. Now show me yours.

Kat:
Leave... me... alone!

Kat:
I just have one thing to say to you. I'm not that girl.

Patrick:
What girl?

Kat:
The girl who's turned on by the spat boy crap. I'm not skipping home to scribble in my journal that maybe you're a vampire.

Patrick:
Noted.

Bianca:
(about Chastity) Kat was right. For a popular girl, she is a teenage Long Duk Dong.

Cameron:
I'm sorry, who?

Bianca:
The dictator of North Korea.

Patrick:
[to Kat] Looking for me.

Kat:
Yes, if you were the ladies' room.

Kat:
So, you snuck out of the house to go to a party, but you had the wrong address. How does that humiliation taste?

Bianca:
Like your stupid soy burgers.

Walter Stratford:
Bianca, calm down. I'll take you to the party... and I'll just wait for you in the car outside.

Bianca:
Sure, Dad, why don't you carry me in a BabyBjörn?

Kat Stratford:
[referring to Bianca] If she is your little flower, what am I?

Walter Stratford:
You're my big, tough cactus!

Kat Stratford:
Green, spiny and phallic. That's great, Dad.

Bianca Stratford:
When I go out, I have to file the flight plans with the FAA. But she gets to go out without questions asked?

Walter Stratford:
[to Kat] Gonna drink?

Kat Stratford:
No.

Walter Stratford:
Drugs?

Kat Stratford:
No.

Walter Stratford:
Sex?

Kat Stratford:
Gross.

Walter Stratford:
[to Bianca] Satisfied?

Patrick:
I think I finally figured you out. Drop trash on me, drag we in a detention, steal my backpack; you're obsessed with me.

Kat:
Hmm. What can I say? We and me in this sexy vests, picking up trash, this sweet scent of garbage in the air... Welcome to my dream date.

Patrick Verona:
You can go.

Kat Stratford:
No. no, no ,no. I'm not gonna go.

Patrick Verona:
Because you're obsessed with me.

Bianca Stratford:
I have a big fat favour to ask.

Chastity Church:
Uh - I don't respond to fat.

Bianca Stratford:
Okay, small skinny favour then.

(Walter arrives at the school auto shop to discover that Kat has disassembled many pieces from her car)

Walter:
Why didn't you call me earlier?

Kat:
This is a car, not a uterus.

Chastity:
(to Bianca) Listen, Joey has the attention span of a Cheerio, so keep him focused, OK?

Joey:
(to a shirtless Cameron) Man, I really admire you for busting stereotypes. I'm actually trying to do the same thing. I wanna show the world that straight guys can be models, in the same way that you're trying to show the world that... that gay guys don't have to have six-pack abs.

Kat:
How can I call myself an environmentalist when I'm single-handedly exterminating polar bears with my Chernobyl-mobile?

Bianca:
(to Joey about her dad) I'm sorry. He has some sort of disease that makes him cranky. I think it's man-opause.

Cameron:
(referring to Bianca) You know what? I don't want to get over her. I want to be the guy in the movie who never gives up and eventually gets the girl.

Michael:
Yeah. I don't watch those movies... unless there's nudity.

(The guys are watching Kat working on her car)

Ray:
Twenty says she quits by the end of the day.

Brad:
Oh, come on if everyone bets against her, there's no point in having a pool.

Ray:
Patrick?

Brad:
Do you wanna bet on her?

Patrick:
Not while she's anywhere near power-tools.

(Kat looks up and gives them all a dirty look and walks over.)

Kat:
I'll bet on myself.

Brad:
Careful, that money could buy you a bunch of tampons.

(Brad and Ray bump fists and walk away laughing.)

Joey:
I got to go tell the coach before he gives my jersey away.

Bianca:
Um, don't worry. It has your name on it.

Joey:
I know, which is why I don't want him to give it away! Duh?

Walter:
Kat, I'm sure somewhere on the Internet, there's a manual on how to deliver a baby. But it doesn't mean you know your way around a uterus.

Kat:
Why can't my dad just be an accountant?

Walter:
So, what's distracting you from setting the table?

Kat:
I'm turning my giant carbon footprint into a cute little baby foot - by converting my car into a biodiesel.

Walter:
Huh, by yourself?

Kat:
You think a woman can't do it?

Walter:
Sure she can if she's a mechanic. You do realize that this is your only car and if you destroy it I'm not getting you another one.

Kat:
Relax, Dad, I printed a comprehensive instruction manual off the Internet. It got nine out of ten stars.

Cameron:
I really need advice from someone other than my friend Michael. There's a reason the only girl he's kissed is his cousin Ruth.

Ms. Sommers:
Kat, astronauts on the international space station can see that you're a feminist.

Cameron:
(talking to Bianca about the soda) Sometimes they take a while to drop.

Patrick:
So do your testicles.

Bianca:
Speaking of inflation, can I get an advance on my allowance?

Walter:
Stop being a capitalist. I'm not an ATM. You can't just push my buttons and get cash.

Cameron:
Yeah, maybe I can do that this afternoon while I'm setting up her online commerce.

Patrick:
Yeah, you can protect her from all that unwanted spam.

Cameron:
I can be her anti-virus software.

Kat:
(carrying a clipboard for her petition) Will you sign this? It would be nice to have a real person other than Mr. Balzac and Mr. I.P. Freely.

Bianca [to Dawn]:
Why can't Brad and Angie adopt us?

Dawn:
At least I've got a shot. I'm Asian.

Bianca:
Charlie, you and your friends and your friends' friends should tune into BiancaAndDawn.org tonight for some Katy Perry action.

Charlie [after seeing Bianca and Dawn kiss]:
This makes up for my parents blocking The L Word.

Patrick:
Do I look like Dr. Phil?

Bianca:
I feel like a poodle at a dessert buffet. What I wouldn't do for a flat iron right about now.

Kat:
People could be losing their homes right now and you're worried about your hair. Ugh, you're worse than Anderson Cooper (looks around).

Bianca:
Ooh, you're looking for Patrick. You like him.

Kat:
No I don't.

Bianca:
You want to kiss him.

Kat:
Really? Are you five?

Bianca:
I'm just excited to know that you're capable of physical attraction. Now, maybe I won't have to suffer the burden of caring for you and your cats when you're old.

Kat:
Sorry, can't take you seriously with your hair like this (twirls Bianca's curls).

Chastity:
Bianca!

Bianca:
(Turns Kat around the opposite way) Face forward and don't say anything or I'll tell Patrick you want to have his babies.

Kat:
Look, I'm off duty. Fire's over.

Old Lady:
Oh, so I guess I don't have to show you what your boyfriend left for you.

Kat:
He's not my boyfriend.

Old Lady:
(points) Over there. Missy, lighten up - I know a lot of cat ladies who started out like you. (smiles and walks away while Kat goes to see what Patrick left her - her mom's vinyl albums)

Bianca:
(while Kat flips through her albums in disbelief that Patrick was thoughtful enough to bring them) I am so happy we can go home. This evacuation has been nothing but drama.

Walter:
The fire is out, the house is safe and no babies were born in the gym. We may all return to our lives. (he gestures to his daughters) come here, come here. Life is great (he kisses Bianca's forehead and puts an arm around each of them)

Kat:
Are you drunk?

Walter:
Only on life, my darling. And five hundred dollars worth of wine.

Kat:
I'm driving.

Kat:
(finds Patrick sitting on a ledge on the roof of the school) Don't jump.

Patrick:
Oh, I don't have to, you're here now.

Kat:
Okay jump.

Patrick:
I'm only three stories up. All I'd do is break a leg.

Kat:
It'd still be worth it.

Patrick:
(points to fire burning in the distance) Come check this out. It's really beautiful.

Kat:
If you don't think about all the homes being destroyed.

Patrick:
(leans closer and points) Look over there. UGH! (pretends to be slipping off the edge. Kat cries out and reaches for him) Aah!

Kat:
Oh! (walks away from the ledge, Patrick follows)

Patrick:
See, you don't want me to jump.

Kat:
You're such a jerk.

Patrick:
Now, I can tell you what I wanted to tell you.

Kat:
Ooh, I'm on pins and needles. Let me guess...is it the same thing you wanted to tell the girl downstairs?

Patrick:
Oh, I like it when you're jealous.

Kat:
I'm not jealous, I'm appalled- there's a difference.

Patrick:
Look, I was going to tell her that she should stop stalking me.

Kat:
Hmm..big words from the guy who shows up unannounced in my bedroom window at eleven O'clock at night. That's way past visiting hours.

Patrick:
You talk a lot. (takes her head in his hands ands kisses her, they continue on for several moments)

Kat:
(pulls back, happy) Is that what you wanted to tell me?

Patrick:
Sure (smiles and leans in to kiss her again)

Kat:
(breaking away quicker this time) No, seriously.

Patrick:
Oh, seriously? Okay, I realized why I find you interesting.

Kat:
Hmm...do tell.

Patrick:
(cupping her face with one hand) You're different from other girls. You have a mind of your own.

Kat:
That must be a refreshing change for you.

Patrick:
It is, you're not all clingy and...needy. We can just make-out and it doesn't have to be this whole big thing. (leans in to kiss her but Kat pulls away)

Kat:
Right. (moves away) Right, because I'm a total slut. But I have a mind of my own.

Patrick:
No that's not what I meant.

Kat:
Well, what did you mean?

Patrick:
I meant you're not living some fairy-tale where I'm your prince charming.

Kat:
Trust me. No one would mistake you for prince charming. Prince Charles maybe.

Patrick:
Aah! And we were having such a nice time.

Kat:
Unbelievable! I'm worried about losing my home all of my stuff, every memory and you just want to hook up.

Patrick:
Why do you have to make everything so difficult?

Kat:
What can I say, I'm not easy. (Leaves the rooftop)

Old Lady:
Go after him already. Seize the moment. Life is short, trust me - I know.

Kat:
You're old, I get it. (walks around her again)

Old Lady:
Ooh.

Bianca:
Do you have keys to any of the classrooms? I NEED you to open one.

Kat:
Chastity needs more room for her ego?

Bianca:
Someone brought a family into our room and she's a bit territorial.

Kat:
Too bad. Tell Gangus Chastity that there's a fire going on and we all need to pull together.

Bianca:
Yeah, yeah, yeah- we are the world I get it. Can't you just open a door please?

Kat:
Not a chance.

Bianca:
Why can't you just help me once? Why does everything you do have to be about principles?

Kat':
Why does everything you do have to be about Chastity? It's pathetic.

Bianca:
Fine, I guess you'd rather be handing out water bottles to old ladies than making out with Patrick Verona but you're right I'm the one who's pathetic!

Cameron:
(spots Patrick and follows behind him) Have you ever done something you've regretted?

Patrick:
Giving you advice because you keep coming back.

Cameron:
Okay, but have you ever done something you're really sorry about?

Patrick:
(spins around and looks at him) What did you do?

Cameron:
I think I started the fire.

Patrick:
Okay, let me guess you set off a model rocket?

Cameron:
How'd you know?

Patrick:
Well it was either that or you were setting your farts on fire. So, what's the problem?

Cameron:
The problem is the guilt is eating me alive. I'm thinking of confessing.

Patrick:
Well, it's not like you did it on purpose.

Cameron:
You're right. That's it I'll tell them what happened, that it was an accident and I'm really sorry.

Patrick:
Yeah, worse case scenario you get 5, 10 years but you can handle prison. And with a face like yours you'll have a husband in no time. (walks away)

Kat:
(handing a bar of some kind to an old lady) Here you go ma'am.

Old Lady':
Does this have seeds in it? I have diverticulitis.

Kat:
I'm not sure actually. (looks at packet to see ingredients, looks up and spots Patrick walking down the hall)

Old Lady:
Oh, who's that you're undressing with your eyes? Your boyfriend?

Kat:
Ugh, no. Just this guy I know.

Old Lady:
Oh, missy I wasn't born yesterday.

Kat:
I can see that.

Kat:
So you made it, where's your family?

Patrick:
I killed them all. (laughs) They were slowing me down.

Kat:
Natural disasters do bring out the best in people. So what was your big epiphany?

Girl:
(runs up to Patrick's side and puts a hand on his shoulder) You're okay! Did you get my messages? I sent you like a million texts. When are we going to talk? You said you needed to tell me something? (clings to his arm)

Patrick:
(looks at Kat and struggles to explain) Ugh, it's not like that.

Kat:
Sure its not. Enjoy your chat. (walks away)

Cameron:
Homemade pyrotechnics?

Michael:
Yeah, like fireworks, flares...

Cameron:
Or model rockets. Michael that model rocket we launched yesterday in my backyard...it never came down! Think we started the fire?

Michael:
There's no way. All we did was push a button.

Cameron:
That shot a vessel of highly flammable balsa wood containing gunpowder! (looks around) Into bone-dry brush igniting a gigantic conflagration.

Michael:
Uh oh

Kat':
That treats me like a laaad-eek! Sweet mother (opens window) What the hell are you doing here? It is eleven o'clock at night! (realises her music is still playing and goes to turn it off, also removing her plate while her back is turned to him)

Patrick:
Isn't it obvious? I'm a vampire I need permission to enter.

Kat:
Permission NOT granted.

Patrick:
Good thing I'm not really a vampire.

Patrick:
Vinyl? How old school.

Kat:
I keep it real.

Patrick:
I've never seen this beatles album.

Kat:
It was only released in the UK. Those were my mom's she was a real purist.

Patrick:
She sounds cool.

Kat:
She was. So again, what is with the breaking and entering?

Patrick:
(spins and around and steps closer to Kat) I had something I wanted to tell you.

Bianca:
Can I borrow your- (Patrick and Kat turn to look at her) A male in your bedroom and he's cute! Am I sleepwalking again? (Patrick smirks while Kat pulls Bianca into the room and closes her door, shushing Bianca)

Kat:
(Patrick sits down while Kat freaks out) Dad is going to hear you.

Walter:
Girls!

Kat:
Oh my god! Crap! Crap! Crap! Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out! (pulls Patrick up from her chair and pushes him towards the window) Just a second Dad I'm...indecent!

Bianca:
And in so much trouble. I'm loving this.

Walter:
I'm coming in!

Patrick Verona:
We takin' my Bike?

Walter Stratford:
Please tell me he's talking about his ten speed.

Kat Stratford:
Don't worry we're taking my car.

Bianca:
(to Patrick) Look! Deep, deep down beneath my sister's crusty exoskeleton, she has a soft spot for you.

Walter:
Why don't you wear that nice one you wore to last year's school play?

Bianca:
It was my costume. I was playing Helen Keller.

Walter:
It was very flattering. Even she could see that.

Bianca:
Oh my God! I look like a princess! This is my first date, and I'm so excited I think I might pee my pants.

Walter:
(showing images from laptop) This is the baby crowning. Ooh, this is what placenta looks like. Here is the father cutting the cord. Of course, that's only symbolic because he's responsible for that baby for the rest of his life.

Patrick:
Got it. Sex makes babies.

Walter:
(to Kat) I was just showing your friend with the disturbingly deep voice who looks much older than 17 what could happen if he's not careful. (firmly grips Patrick by his shoulder) And by careful, I don't mean use a condom. I mean, keep it in your pants.

Bianca:
I didn't get to show off this dress. I didn't get to slow-dance. I didn't get my first kiss. Beau is such a jerk!

Cameron:
He's king of the jerks! He rules Jerklandia!

Kat:
I'd hardly call this dancing. These kids are just dry-humping to music.

Patrick:
In that case, care to dance? [edit]

Kat:
You know, Dad warns us everyday about getting pregnant.

Bianca:
You're lucky. He warns me twice a day.

Kat:
Yeah, well, he never mentions all the other ways a guy can screw you.

Bianca:
Amen, sister.

Bianca:
But you're gay!

Cameron:
I'm not gay! At all! In fact, you're gayer than I am because you kissed a girl.

Bianca:
That was for money.

Cameron:
See, I could never kiss a guy for money, except for Johnny Depp.

Bianca:
Dad, it's healthy for us to spend time apart so we don't get sick of each other.

Kat:
Oh, I see. When you said, 'wait here' at the dance... you really meant for, like, six days.

Patrick:
If you ever returned a phone call, you'd know I didn't bail on you. I got arrested.

Kat:
Oh, and here I thought you were just a jerk. Turns out you're also a criminal.

Dawn:
Oh, my God, guys. Don't drop me.

Bianca:
Thank God I wore my good underwear tonight.

Dawn:
Thank God I wore underwear!

Cheerleader #1:
So before a game, I spray a tiny bit of hair spray on my butt, so my leotard won't ride up.

Cheerleader #2:
Unless we're trying to distract the other team, and then we skip the hair spray.

Bianca:
(sees Kat's shirt all wet) Look at you. Maybe you should change your shirt.

Kat:
(drunk) Maybe you should change your face! (laughs)

Chastity:
Joey, sweetie, in an effort to support your modeling career... I'm gonna let you practice your stupid little runway walk... all the way home.

Kat:
We should sing one of the songs with the two people when they do it together.

Bianca:
A duet?

Kat:
Oh... I don't say this often enough, Bianca, but you're so smart... and prettiful. I love you i hope we stay sisters forevver

Cameron:
Bianca, I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. And if it turns out we have afterlives, I wanna spend those together, too.

Bianca:
Cameron--

Cameron:
Think about it. We could have a really cool moniker, like Biameron or Camianca. You pick.

Kat:
I've seen rad flags from you ever since I met you. In fact, you look like communist China!

Kat:
Oh, I know what you're up to. I've seen those crappy teen movies.

Chastity:
Oh, me too. But aren't you supposed to show up much later ... wearing a hockey mask.

Kat:
And you'll be the first to go.

Kat':
Either live with the guilt or tell Chastity.

Bianca':
I would, but I prefer to keep my intestines inside my body.

Joey':
(holding a newspaper) Good news, baby. The war in Azerbijackistan is over.

Chastity:
(to Bianca) Okay, his behavior's becoming so erratic. He's like my grandma before we put her on meds.

Walter:
Oh, my God! Do you mean to tell me the students have to leave their Uzis and heroin at home?

Kat:
Dad, this isn't a joke.

Walter:
How about knives and crack?

Michael:
'You're my best friend'? First, you already got a best friend. (points to himself) And second, she's just not that into you.

Cameron:
Hey, she's still transitioning into seeing me as a viable heterosexual.

Cameron:
Haven't you ever known something deep in your heart?

Michael:
I'm 15. I know things deep in my pants.

Joey:
I don't even know if she ever loved me. Not the real me. I was just this gorgeous status accessory, like Paris Hilton's poodle.

Bianca:
Girls like Chastity don't like other girls playing with their poodles... even if they've given their poodles away. And Chastity can be really mean.

Joey:
That's why I'm ready to be with someone really sweet, like you. Take you, for example.

Chastity:
(talking to his father on the phone) Ditch these stupid uniforms, or I'll tell Mommy how I found out... that your executive assistant doesn't wear a bra.

Walter:
I don't get this, Kat. You always wanted to go to an Ivy League school.

Kat:
They'll appreciate my social conscience.

Walter:
No. They'll label you a problem student. You know how competitive it is. They'll look for some reason to reject you. It's like enlisting in the army and writing down, 'Oh, by the way, I'm gay.'

Walter:
(As punishment) You're painting the living room tomorrow. Just in case you don't get into college, you'll have a skill to make a living.

Walter:
So let me get this straight, you're going to punish my daughter for trying to get a good grade?

Principal Holland:
Well, I'm sure as hell not going to reward her for breaching out costly yet apparently crap security system. … Kat's in my office more often than that boy who randomly bites peoples necks – damn this vampire craze.

Bianca:
(On the phone) Hey Kat, it's your sister calling from a deserted parking lot. (Fakes talking to someone else) Oh, hello creepy man in a van, no I don't need a ride, my sister's picking me up. Thanks. (Turns back to the phone). Call me!

Kat:
[Patrick], you cannot come in. If my dad sees you here, his head will explode and I'll have to repaint.

Patrick:
Your dad's at work, how's he going to see me – hidden cameras?

Kat':
(Serious) Yes.

Patrick:
Come on, I'll help you paint. It's the least I can do, I mean, you did get suspended for me.

Kat:
Don't flatter yourself. I got suspended for my principles. I just fled the scene with you.

Kat:
[talking about her dad] Now he wants you come to dinner.

Patrick:
I'll pass.

Kat:
I told it was stupid, but he's affraid you're bad influence on me

Patrick:
Huh [he touches her chin] I wonder why [smiling]

Walter:
Oh. Hi, honey. How was your day? Did you invite the man-boy to-

Kat:
(about Patrick) He's not coming to dinner. He didn't want to summit to the inquisition. Are you happy now?

Walter:
Of course I'm not happy. Kat, if this boy really liked you, he'd make the effort.

Kat:
Thank you for saying that out loud, dad. That really makes me feel so much better

Walter:
(Noting that Bianca's date obviously didn't go well) Please tell me what Joey did to you.

Bianca:
Can you just leave me in peace with my ice cream and Sex in the City marathon, please.

Walter:
Did he try to have sex in your city?

Bianca:
Ugh! I don't want to talk about it right now, dad. Why didn't they make you with an "off" switch.

Patrick:
(Deciding where to eat) How 'bout Hell's Steakhouse, I'm dying for a rib-eye.

Kat:
You know I don't eat anything with a face.

Patrick:
They usually cut that part off before they serve it to you.

Kat:
You don't say? How 'bout Vegan Nirvana?

Patrick:
No thanks, I'll just chew on a tree and save twenty bucks.

Kat:
You know what… I'll just drive, we'll find something

Patrick:
Can I just crash here? I got kicked out.

Kat:
What happened?

Patrick:
I wet the bed.

Kat:
Patrick, seriously.

Patrick:
If you're gonna keep talking all night, I'll just sleep in the park.

Kat:
No, stay. If you were horrifically murdered, it would really ruin my day.

Kat:
You see? This is what the world needs: more sex, less war.

Patrick:
Now, if that would be you campaign slogan you would've won.

Kat:
Can I ask you a favour?

Patrick:
Huh

Kat:
Don't break my heart, OK?

Patrick:
OK.

Kat:
And you know what the worst part is? He didn't try to stop me. Bianca: I'm stopping you.