ER, Season 10

Neela (to Frank):
Excuse me. Can you help me, sir?

Frank:
You need to find a triage nurse.

Neela:
No, I'm sorry. I work here.

Frank:
Lucky you.

Neela:
I-I'm supposed to start today. Neela Rasgotra?

Frank:
Rag what?

Neela:
Rasgotra.

Frank:
Don't we hire Americans anymore?

Neela:
The phone was ringing and no one was around, so I thought I should answer it.

Frank:
Big mistake.

Neela:
It's long-distance, overseas, for a Dr.Carter.

Frank:
'Course, who else? Take a message.

Neela:
(on the phone) Yeah, can I take a message? (to Frank) They say it's important. Someone who's died.

Jerry:
Who?

Neela:
Someone named Kovac. A Dr. Luka Kovac.

Neela (to Pratt):
What's a TWA?

Pratt:
What?

Neela:
What's a TWA?

Pratt:
Where did you hear that?

Neela:
The old guy at the desk with the flat head called me a TWA. I don't know what it means.

Pratt:
(shaking his head) Third world assassin, TWA.

Abby (when Carter decides to head back to Africa):
I don't know. You knew I didn't want you to go, and you went anyway. What, were you trying to hurt me?

Carter:
Why would I want to hurt you?

Abby:
I, I don't know! I don't know! Why would you want to hurt me?

Carter:
It wasn't about you.

Abby:
Oh, come on! You weren't even going to tell me you were going! If I hadn't bumped in to you when you were leaving, I wouldn't even have known!

Carter:
I wasn't trying to hurt you. I wanted to feel like I was really doing something.

Abby:
Did you even think about me?

Carter:
Yes.

Abby:
Okay, what did you think (pause) What did you think? I don't know why you bothered to come back. (starts walking away)

Carter:
Oh, you're just going to walk away?

Abby:
Yeah.

Carter:
Okay, walk away, Abby. That's what you do best.

Abby:
You want to know what you do best? You make this all about my problems, but you know what? You have some problems too. You've got some really big problems.

Luka:
I was raised in the church. Catholic. I used to go twice a week with my mother. It was beautiful. I liked the music, the singing.

Patrique:
Do you still go?

Luka:
No, I stopped when my children and wife were murdered. I couldn't believe in a God would allow such a terrible thing to happen. (pauses, ironically) It's really hard to feel the Holy Spirit's presence on a day like today.

Debbie (to Carter):
You really don't like the Dixie Chicks? Everybody likes the Dixie Chicks.

Carter:
Everybody?

Debbie:
Everybody with taste.

Carter (to the Mai Mai soldiers):
You guys burned the clinic to the ground?! You guys... You guys keep burning down hospitals, where are you gonna go when you get shot, huh? Where are you gonna go when your mothers get shot?!

Prosthetist (to Romano):
I can prepare another letter to the insurance company.

Romano:
I've got two letters for the insurance company; "F" and "U"!

Romano:
You really are one grade-A bitch, you know that, Kerry?

Weaver:
No, Robert, I'm your boss, and as long as I am, you're my bitch. Now get your ass back to work.

Romano (to Jerry):
Did you get rid of those nurses?

Jerry:
Yeah. They, uh, they went up to nursing administration saying something about hiring a hit man.

Frank:
Hell hath no fury like an RN scorned.

Romano (to Pratt):
You are a screw-up, Pratt and just to make myself clear, I didn't like you before I knew that.

Cooper (to Pratt):
I like your style, man.

Pratt:
Oh, yeah? Get your own.

Abby (to Richard):
I need a favor.

Richard:
Abby, it's 8:00 in the morning.

Abby:
Yeah, I know. I don't have a lot of time. I need you to co-sign a loan.

Richard:
Why don't you just declare bankruptcy?

Abby:
Look, I'm not in trouble, OK? I just need you...

Richard:
You want me to support you?

Abby:
No. I never asked for alimony, I didn't contest anything in court, I didn't take the damned furniture.

Richard:
You could have, if you wanted to.

Abby:
Look, you must know how much I hate to do this. I wouldn't do it unless it was absolutely necessary. I don't want your money, I just want your signature.

[It's Sam first day, and she has just jumped on a hostile patient and stabbed him with a syringe]

Romano:
Please tell me she works here...

Sam :
Sam Taggart, new nurse!

Romano:
So, what's today's excuse for Triage being a stinking, overpopulated cesspool of humanity?

Sam :
The healthcare system?

Romano:
Yeah, well, if things get too locked up, you can try stabbing some of these deadbeats in the neck. That ought to have them running to Northwestern.

Romano:
There's nothing I find sexier than a mute girl covered in blood, so keep your head down and your mouth shut.

Sam :
You remind of a guy I used to date. He's dead.

[about Romano ]

Sam :
You've got one poisonous one-armed midget running this place.

Alex:
This your new hospital?

Sam :
Yep.

Alex:
Looks even crappier than the last one.

[Discussing a patient...]

Sam :
She needs a little TLC and maybe some Zoloft.

Susan:
That makes two of us.

Susan:
(to Sam) Keep Kovac away from her. He's been known to give away free physicals.

Abby:
(about Neela) I'm beginning to hate her.

Susan:
She's a med student.

Abby:
I'm a med student.

Susan:
You know, now that you mention it, she's pissing me off, too. Come on, let's hate her together!

Tara King (to Luka):
I could put together some packages for you could take to the Congo. I've heard that's a pet project of yours. Quinamax would be wonderful for all the important work you're doing over there.

Luka:
You want me to take your over-priced antibiotic to Africa?

Tara King:
It has great coverage for pnemococcus and AIDS flu.

Luka:
Why hasn't there been a new drug for malaria in three decades?

Tara King:
That's a really good question...

Luka:
Because there's no profit in treating poor people! (picks up a trash can and throws all her marketing products in it)

Tara King:
My company is...

Luka:
Your company spends twice as much in marketing as it does in development! Which is why prescription cost has tripled in the last 10 years! Get out of here. I want you out of here. (walks towards the door)

Tara King:
If this is a bad time...

Luka:
Frank, I'm gonna go get some coffee. Page me if you need me!

Tara King:
O.k. Dr. Kovac if you can... (Luka empties out the trash can in the dumpster) You know, I'll just come back when you're not so busy!

Pratt (to Luka):
She was my patient!

Luka:
Yes, and if I hadn't treated her, she would still be here. Now she's at home and feeling better.

Pratt:
So that's it. This is how I'm supposed to learn? Either I do it your way, or you take it away from me?

Luka:
Pratt, I'm trying to teach you that the way you practice medicine here is inefficient.

Pratt:
Oh, and letting babies die is?

Luka:
You really think you saved that kid today? For what? 24-hours nursing care? He's probably gonna require a life time commitment. Are you gonna be around to give it to him?

Pratt:
Listen, I'm sorry I'm not in some mud-hut doing amputations with a pocket knife. We have the technology and expertise to give that kid a chance! What's the sense in having it, if we don't use it?

Luka:
That kid has about a 5% chance of having a normal life! You have any idea how many other kids we could have treated with those resources?

Pratt:
I do everything I can for my patients! That's how I practice medicine. This is Chicago, not the damned Congo. Maybe you should just go back to Africa.

Luka:
Maybe you should go to Africa.

Pratt:
I know you didn't just say that to me.

Luka:
Maybe then you'd learn that there's more to being a doctor that ordering tests and calling consults for every patient just to cover your ass.

Pratt:
Stay away from my patients. From now on, I present to another attending.

Susan:
What are you doing?

Sam :
He just grabbed my ass. Here, take this to church and have it exorcised.

Romano:
That's right, you keep walking! Right up to the nursing director's office 'cause by the time you get there, there'll be a pink slip waiting for you.

Sam :
Good! Give me plenty of time to file my sexual harassment lawsuit!

Romano:
Do you mind?

Susan:
Yes, I do. You can have it back by the end of the day if you learn to behave!

Romano:
Give me my damned arm back!

Sam :
I've got a rule against ass grabbing.

Susan:
That's a good rule.

Corday (about Morris):
Is he squeamish?

Pratt:
No, just stupid.

Susan (to Chuck):
I thought that you were on that chopper.

Chuck:
God, no. They brought their own nurse, and that bitch wouldn't let me fly.

Susan:
That bitch saved your life!

Mrs. Marshall (to Abby):
The nurse never came with my medicine.

Abby:
That's okay. I'm your nurse now.

Mrs. Marshall:
I thought you were my doctor.

Abby:
That was this morning. Now I'm your nurse.

Mrs. Marshall:
This is a very strange hospital.

Abby:
Tell me about it.

Luka:
You sent that man up for a pulmonary angiogram?

Neela:
Dr.Lewis wanted to be sure before heparinising.

Luka:
What's your opinion?

Neela:
I'm not sure my opinion matters.

Sam :
Luka. You got a minute?

Luka:
[To Neela] If you don't think it matters, then it doesn't.

Sam :
Dr.Kovac! Tell me you did not put a splint on my kid's arm.

Luka:
I'm sorry, but we're busy trying to find a man's finger right now.

Sam :
Yeah, and the reason it's missing, is because in stead of studying here like I told him, he's off with you playing doctor.

Frank:
What?!

Sam :
Not like that.

Luka:
I'm sorry about the splint.

Sam :
Look. I appreciate you trying to be his friend. I just don't want things to get weird. You're a good guy, I'm sure. But you don't know crap about raising kids. So thanks for the help, but no thanks. I got it covered.

Luka:
[ Nods ] O.k.

Abby (to Frank about Dr. Weaver):
Where is she going?

Frank:
Home, to wait for the ghost of Christmas past to show up.

Carter (while reading a Christmas card from the ER):
Oh my God! Dr. Romano died.

Kem:
Was he a friend?

Carter:
Umm, no... No, not really.

[ Alex has sown stitches into his own leg ]

Sam :
You ever seen a kid do something this crazy before?

Carter:
Honestly? [ shakes his head ]

Morris (about Carter):
So, what's his story?

Frank:
Richer and better looking than you or I will ever be. The end!

Pratt:
When'd you two start your rotation?

Abby:
Five minutes ago.

Pratt:
Well, the NICU's great! Intubations, chest-tubes, umbilical-lines. You get to do all sorts of teeny-tiny kick ass procedures.

[ elevator door opens ]

Nurses:
Card's is waiting and Raab's is pissed. Wanna give him a pneumo?

[ The nurses, Abby and Neela roll the baby away ]

Sam :
Good luck you two!

Pratt:
Yeah, you gonna love it! [ To Sam ] Let's get out of here.

Sam :
I hate the NICU.

Pratt:
Those guys are screwed.

Sam :
You know what? Why don't save your lectures for the med students 'cause the nurses don't want to hear it.

Sam :
What is it with Kovac and his holier than thou healing hands? I'm getting pretty sick of that.

Chuny:
Oh, I don't know. Those healing hands have their good points. Right, Abby?

Sam :
Did you go out with Kovac?

Abby:
Briefly, yeah.

Sam :
And Carter?

Abby:
Yep.

Chuny:
Abby's the ER slut.

Abby:
I went out with two doctors in five years that I've worked with.

Lester Kertzenstein:
Hey, Abby. Are we still on for tonight?

Abby:
Yeah.

Lester Kertzenstein:
Great.

Abby:
We're studying! And you shouldn't talk, Chuny.

Sam :
When I finally figured out where the clinic was, I sat in the waiting room and when they called my name I couldn't get up. The second time I went, I was too late. And now I look at Alex...

Abby:
The clinic I went to had a Strawberry Shortcake poster. I just looked at that the whole time.

Arnie Nadler:
Hi, i want to talk about the incident with Dr. Morris.

Sam :
It was no incident, it was a french fry.

Frank:
You waiting for Weaver?

Sam :
Yeah.

Morris:
Well, don't hit her. She's crippled.

Corday (while working a trauma with Luka, Gallant, Carter, and Malik):
How come there are only men in here?

Sam:
Actually, I was thinking. It might be a good time to take a break.

Luka:
What?

Sam:
You know, just take it slower. You know what I'm saying.

Luka:
Uh, no I don't.

Sam:
We're not exclusive, right? We're just, like, dating or whatever. No commitment, no strings, no co-parenting. Just keep it casual, OK?

Luka:
OK.

Neela:
[to Frank] You know what? You're a horrible man. Do you think it's pleasant being greeted every day by a fusilade of homophobic, xenophobic ranting from a bigot? From now on, I expect nothing from you but silence; blissful silence.

Luka:
No, it was fine.

Sam :
Because, when I said before... I didn't mean we shouldn't see each other at all. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

Luka:
You want things to be casual.

Sam :
Right. But if it's a choice between something serious or nothing, maybe serious is the way to go.

[ About Gillian ]

Luka:
She has a boyfriend.

Sam :
That's nice.

Luka:
You said you didn't want to be exclusive!

Sam :
I said it four days ago!

Luka:
I forgot she was coming.

Sam :
You know what, I don't care. It's fine, Luka.

Luka:
It's fine?

Sam :
You think I really care how many french girls you're screwing? You already nailed every nurse in the ER!

Carter:
Neela, we were ranking fourth year med students in there. And everybody agreed you're really bright, and we really like working with you.

Neela:
Someone spoke poorly of me?

Carter:
Well, nobody in particular.

Neela:
Was it Dr. Chen? Because she's had it in for me...

Carter:
Neela, you have to be more decisive. Okay, you have to be more... proactive.

Neela:
They feel I'm too passive?

Carter:
Tell you what, for the next four hours, you are a doctor. I want you to carry a minimum of three patients at all times. Start their workups, order their labs and meds, and present back to me only after you've put your own diagnostic plan into action. Today, you're a shark.

Neela:
Shark?

Carter:
Keep swimming, or you die.

Gallant (to Neela):
You know, earlier, in the ambulance bay, I was thinking of asking you out.

Neela:
And I was thinking of saying yes.

Susan:
It's so sweet seeing them growing up.

Jerry:
Who? Babies.

Susan:
No, men.

Jerry:
Oh, hey! Kovac called. He said next time he's gonna have a triple latte first. Does that make any sense?

Sam :
[ smiles ] Yeah.

Chen:
Are you two living together now?

Sam :
No.

Chen:
Well, for what it's worth, I think Luka's a good guy.

Sam :
Oh, wait. You didn't...

Chen:
...Sleep with him? No, I went in a completely different direction (Chen waves at Pratt).

Gallant (to Neela):
I'm being deployed to Iraq. I'm heading for Texas tomorrow morning.

Neela:
You haven't finished your residency.

Gallant:
Yeah, I know. I'm gonna finish up the last few electives down there.

Neela:
They called you up, just like that?

Gallant:
Yeah.

Neela:
You're a coward.

Gallant:
What, what?

Neela:
Coward and a liar! I never asked you to do this for me, but you did! And now you're leaving, and I'm supposed to live with the fact that I killed a man, and that you helped and lied for me to cover it up.

Gallant:
Listen, Neela.

Neela:
No, Michael. Go to bloody Iraq. And tell yourself you've done something noble.

Gallant:
I had to protect you and Dr. Carter.

Neela:
No...you didn't.

Chen (to Neela):
You're not a good doctor until you've killed someone.

Neela:
(under her breath) Spoken like someone who hasn't.

Sam :
Men only care about three things: food, sports, and sex. Dogs are more mysterious. If they ever invent a refrigerator with a wide-screen T.V and a vagina, we're all doomed

Morris:
Sounds like he TUBE'd her.

Sam :
What?

Morris:
TUBE: Totally Unnecessary Breast Exam.

Sam :
Morris, you're such an ass.

Kerry:
What was that?

Sam:
Sorry

Kerry:
Not You.

Morris:
Huh?

Kerry:
What was that term?

Morris:
I dunno. I didn't make it up.

Jack (to Carter):
Milicent dies, you run off half way around the world. Disappears for months. Only to come back like some sort of avenging angel, with a pregnant African girl in tow.

Carter:
Her name is Kem.

Jack:
Are you back using drugs?

Abby (to Jordan):
This is not about me.

Jordan:
You want me to tell you things, to trust you, but you don't have to say anything? Is that fair? Don't you trust me?

Abby:
OK. I can't follow through.

Jordan:
On what?

Abby:
On anything. Once something gets in my way, it's like a chemical reaction. I just shut down, and I give up. I'm just looking for an excuse to stop, because in the end it's easier to do that than to risk being hurt and disappointed again.

Jordan:
You mean with men?

Abby:
Men, my career, my family... pick your poison.

Kem:
Oh my God, John. We're having a boy!

Carter:
Yeah, I think you mentioned that. What is this? What, you're having a little prenatal jitters?

Kem:
You don't think that, maybe we...

Carter:
What?

Kem:
Rushed into this?

Carter:
'Course we did. But we didn't over analyze it, we didn't reexamine it, we didn't over think it. We just did it 'cause it felt right.

Kem:
This is a life that we're responsible for. You and me.

Carter:
We're ready. Are you ready? (points at her belly)

Corday (about Carter and Kem's baby):
A stillborn?

Chen:
Yeah, a true knot in the chord.

Corday:
How terrible.

Chen:
Ah, I can't even imagine!

Corday:
I'll try to get up there after rounds.

Weaver:
Poor people. Seven months old?

Chen:
Mm... Almost eight.

Morris:
Yeah, tough break. (Chen, Corday and Weaver all look at him) What? I was... I was being sincere.

Jack (to Carter):
When your brother died, the thing I hated the most was other people's platitudes. You're out of words. You don't know how you find the strength, but somehow you do. You can have another child... It was an accident, a tragic, unforeseeable accident.

Carter:
The whole thing was an accident.

Jack:
No, it wasn't. You love each other. Everybody can see that.

Carter:
I don't know that she'd wanna have another baby with me.

Jack:
Sure she will. Give it some time.

Carter:
Kem? They're gonna come down and take us to our new room soon. And when they come, they're gonna take the baby, and we're never gonna see him again... I don't know what the right thing is to say. I don't know what the right thing to do is... It was an accident! It was nothing that you did wrong, it was nothing that we did wrong. It just happened. I love you, and I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. But we have to say goodbye to our son now. I have to help you to do that, and I don't know how to do that. Please help me. Please.

Sam :
We're moving.

Alex:
No!

Sam :
Come on, hurry up!

Alex:
I don't wanna go!

Sam :
Ah, you don't exactly have a choice.

Alex:
I'm not going!

Sam :
Yes you are.

Alex:
I like it here.

Sam :
Yeah? So did I.

Alex:
You're just being a bitch.

Sam :
What did you call me?

Alex:
I'm sick of moving just because you're screwed up!

Sam :
You know what I'm sick of, Alex?! I'm sick of pretending that your dad is a good guy! I'm sick of keeping my mouth shut about all the crap that he's done and all the stuff that he hasn't. And I'm sick of him tracking us down every time he loses a job, so he can come here and buy you enough presents to make you think that he's actually a father. Because he's not! He's a user, and a loser, and I am not gonna let him turn you into one too. Now get your ass in that room and start packing!

Antwan Coles (to Pratt):
You gotta back me up, brother.

Pratt:
I'm Dr. Pratt, you're under suspicion for DUI. And you sure as hell ain't my brother.