MythBusters, 2006

[Adam is testing the holding strength of wood glue.]

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
It's been a while since Adam hurt himself on the show - but this setup has potential.

[Adam's test rig then separates and hits his fingers.]

Rob Lee:
Yup - business as usual. 60 pounds of force across the knuckles is going to sting a little.

[Adam is seeing Jamie's version of the crossbow for the first time.]

Adam:
Dude, if the full draw of the bow makes it collapse, is candy gonna pour out?

Jamie:
Adam's, you could use as a club and it'd probably be just fine; you could still shoot it.

Jamie:
I've always had a fascination with crossbows. I've had this one since I was a teenager. That's why there are no cats left in the neighborhood.

Adam:
I can imagine the scene... [mimicking Jamie] Why... why, thank you, father...

Adam:
[giggling] I shot Grant in the face!

Adam:
[giggling] I got him right in his left nostril! Oh dude! that is so going right in his nose!

Tory:
[Commenting on the LED display of a clothes dryer.] It's done with a capital "E".

[As part of an experiment, Tory is spraying bees with vodka.]

Tory:
Oh, it's terrible! They're drunk!

[Tory is trying to revive some of the bees sprayed with vodka.]

Kari:
Wow, Tory, you're like some kind of bee whisperer!

[Tory and Grant are talking over if the bees are really dead or not.]

Grant:
Why don't you do some Bee CPR? BPR!

[Jamie is having trouble starting a chainsaw.]

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
What? No elaborate setup? No scale tests? No blueprint plans? This could be the quickest Mythbust on record... if Jamie can start the chainsaw.

[The MythBusters and the team from M.I.T. are trying to quickly set up for the test.]

Adam:
Work faster, slaves let's go! Protect your masters!

Tory:
What in the hell is that thing?!

Adam:
It's the disco mirror from hell!

[after Prof. Wallace requests Jamie to move the ship directly in front of the mirror array]

Jamie:
So holding still isn't good enough? We have to move into the line of fire?

Professor Wallace:
Shut up, you lazy Roman pig, and do as you're told!

[Adam inhales some of the helium used to inflate some footballs]

Adam:
Okay, these are ready. Don't tell him which ones we have.

[Adam has just inhaled some helium.]

Adam:
Well, it's weird talking without any oxygen in your system... WOW!

Adam:
There's still a couple anomalies, out of 10 there were 3. That's good enough for MythBusters.

Adam:
It amazes me that you still don't realize we're filming a television show.

Jamie:
I'd think we would at least aspire to not be idiots?

Adam:
And yet we would fail.

[The MythBusters have just inflated a football until it burst. Afterwards, Adam puts it on his head.]

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
So there's your answer. At 110 PSI you'll lose a football, but gain a hat.

Jamie:
What are you doing?

Adam:
I put everything on my head.

Adam:
My dignity and good television-they'll never meet.

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
At least not on this show.

Adam:
Roger that! We have flatus contained. (imitates klaxon) AWOO-GAH! AWOO-GAH!

Tory:
Ballistics gel-I love it!

[A kite, whose tail has a rock tied to it, swoops toward Tory, barely missing his head.]

Tory:
It's the death kite-the kite of punishment.

[The kite swings the rock and smacks Tory in the groin.]

Grant:
[laughing] That made it all worthwhile!

Tory:
Well, we killed a dead President.

Grant:
He (Ben Franklin) was never President.

[Grant and Kari walk away, stifling giggles.]

Tory:
Wasn't he? Damn it.

Kari:
I've heard that in every schoolroom I've ever been in...'cause I've been in a lot.

Kari:
It sounds really, really dangerous.

Grant:
It could be very dangerous.

Tory:
Or it could be a lot of fun.

Grant:
Stability appears to be an issue.

Rob Lee:
You don't say. Grant's kite is doing more spins than a washing machine.

Adam:
Look at this. It's a cathedral... of failure.

[Adam is stuck upside down in a net, suspended six feet in the air by a gigantic helium-filled raft.]

Adam:
This wins as the strangest position I've ever been in...on this show.

Kari:
[looking directly at the camera] Don't you love how he qualifies it with "on this show"?

Adam:
[after inhaling helium] Once, in every generation, a myth comes along that does not thrill us.

Adam:
I'm fine. I'm upside-down, in a net, under the biggest helium balloon thing you've ever seen, but I'm fine.

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
The MythBusters feel the need. The need... to be very, very still.

Adam:
I'm searching across the desert for a pencil-sized hole!

[Adam holds a plastic-wrapped pig's head over his face like a mask]

Adam:
Jamie, please don't shoot bullets at my head.

Jamie:
He's only got one ear.

Adam:
We don't need ears to test the lethality of falling bullets.

Adam:
With all the safety precautions we are taking, check this, check that, you have to stand back and say: Damn! I'm lightin' salamis, man! I'm making a rocket out of meat!

[Jamie is examining the remains of the salami test rocket after it exploded.]

Jamie:
There's meat everywhere!

Jamie:
This may look like salami... it may smell like salami... it may even taste like salami... but it's rocket fuel.

Jamie:
Well, this is one of the strangest things I've ever done... I'm about to chuck a salami into the lathe!

Tory:
I'm washing my gun.

Adam:
So, guys, how did it go?

Tory:
Psychic helmet totally works.

Adam:
Really?!?

Tory:
Actually, no, not really...

[Jamie is naming his explosion painting contraption.]

Jamie:
The flower of death.

Adam:
Los flores de los muertos! (The flowers of the dead)

Adam:
You're gonna paint your house with explosives? That's crazy!

Adam:
Remember kids, I have health insurance!

Adam:
[to camera] If we don't meet again... I love you.

Kari:
[while watching "rubbing machine"] This farmer sure's walking fast.

Tory:
Well, he's in a hurry.

Tory:
If it's worth doing it's worth overdoing, right?

[Buster is about to be blown up by explosive-coated overalls.]

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
Friends and family of Buster should look away now.

Tory:
Somebody ordered some exploding pants?

Grant:
Well they singed the hell out him, but they didn't actually blow up, there was just a lot of fire.

Kari:
You are so hard to please.

Tory:
Yeah, if I was a farmer, and my pants did that, I'd say "my pants blew up!", I wouldn't worry about specifics.

[Tory is making explosives from herbicide]

Tory:
Frank, why are you standing so far away?

Frank Doyle:
Because I wanna continue to live.

Tory:
So then the next question is, why am I standing so close?

Kari:
(From a lift as the Build Team builds the assault course) Now remember that the safety word is "Run!"

Adam:
I think Jamie's just going to be like [mimicking Jamie's impending crawl up an air duct with magnets] "CHUNG!" "CHUNG!" "CHUNG!" And I believe, in a security manual, the proper response to that sound coming from your duct is to just riddle your duct with bullets.

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
With Grant and Kari heading up security, bullet riddling is unlikely. But with Tory...you never know.

[There is a loud clang as Jamie begins noisily climbing the duct]

Adam:
[laughing] Why, Thor, the god of thunder, is trying to enter my building!

[There is another clang as Jamie continues climbing the duct. Adam laughs again]

Tory:
Somebody needs to check that air conditioner!

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
[as Jamie continues] Here's some key phrases from the surreptitious entry heist manual: Be the breeze [clang] As light as a feather [clang] The foot fall of a kitten. [clang]

Jamie:
Surreptitious? I don't think so.

Jamie:
Lets get cracking.

Adam:
Um... cracking?

Jamie:
What?

Adam:
I guess I could break into a building too by beating on the ducting with a sledgehammer.

Kari:
Is there anything more attractive than the sound of gum being chewed?

Tory:
Yes there is, watching you chew that gum.

[Jamie has mixed some cardboard in the blender, and tasted the result.]

Jamie:
Kinda reminds me of high school, for some reason.

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
Ah, Jamie's school days. Playing football, growing facial hair, and drinking cardboard

[Adam tastes some liquified cardboard.]

Adam:
Y'know, it tastes uncannily like cardboard.

Adam:
Remember this, kids - cardboard is low in fat!

Adam:
It's wedged in there like... I don't know if I could build something that could wedge it in there that hard...

[Adam looks back at the steam cannon.]

Adam:
Oh - apparently, I did!

Jamie:
But didn't we spend two seasons busting the last Archimedes myth?

[Holding a box for a model of a container ship.]

Adam:
It's the toy every kid wants for Christmas! A container ship! "Gee, thanks dad! Now I can replicate international commerce!"

[Adam has thrown up after being spun around in a whirlpool.]

Jess:
Urgh - smells like pizza.

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
Welcome to the team, Jess.

[Adam pulls on a wetsuit in preparation for the whirlpool.]

Adam:
[Imitating heavy French accent.] Is everybody ready for DIVING?!

Adam:
Do you care to explain what we're doing 60 feet above the ground, standing above 9000 gallons of swirling water and...I'm in a wetsuit?

Jamie:
Sure!

[Adam is floating on his back after being spun around in the whirlpool tank.]

Adam:
Have you ever really looked at the sky?

Grant:
This is a cursed item. There are cursed items in the world and this is one of them. It's everything we try and do to it, goes wrong.

Grant:
Make no mistake, this is a deathtrap.

Kari:
I don't know but this feels very dangerous, I have a bad feeling about this, something is going to go wrong.

Grant:
And that is different from the other times how...?

[Adam has made a nozzle on the lathe that looks remarkably like a lightsaber handle.]

Adam:
...I did what any boy would make-uh, what am I allowed to call it, a plasma sword?-except, instead of a limited beam of pure plasma, it's soda!

[Adam pretends he is fighting with the nozzle as if it is a lightsaber.]

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
Not so much Yoda, but soda.

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
Adam, for reasons known only to himself, puts a bottle of cola on Jamie's lathe.

[The bottle unscrews and comes out of the lathe, spilling everywhere. Adam laughs.]

Adam:
[to camera] Okay, this'll be our little secret.

Adam:
(in French accent) I have been a bubble sculptor for about 20 years. The Bubbles are very fine way to sculpt the real world.

[Adam and Jamie light a ten-foot tower of methane bubbles on fire; the bubbles erupt in a massive fireball.]

Adam:
That was like the beast dying at the end of the movie! "WRRROOOOOEEEAAAGH!"

Adam:
This is one I've known about for a long time, it's called "Dry Ice Bomb." Years ago I went to an ice company to pick up some stuff for Jamie, this was like 20 years ago, 15 years ago, and it said: "You cannot buy dry ice unless you are 18", and I thought: "Why would that be?" so I said "Hey, how come you can't buy dry ice unless you are over 18", and the guy goes: (assumes a "surfer dude" voice) "Oh, 'cause you can stick it in a 2-liter bottle and make a huge bomb out of it; it blows up, it'll, like, set car alarms off across the street; it's really cool! (normal voice): and I thought, "You're new here, aren't you?" Since then I've always wanted to try it.

Tory [talking on two-way radio to Grant] Okay, Grant... ready for your 45 mile an hour run? Paramedics are... nowhere to be found. [to camera crew] This may be the last time we see Grant.

Jamie:
[camera shows a shot of Jamie's shirt] This better work... my shirt's all dirty.

Jamie:
We have three melodies...they're called First Gear, Second Gear, and Third Gear.

Adam:
Inexplicably, Adam is wearing chainmail.

Adam:
We're 100 feet away, and I can still feel it moving the bridge... it's eerie.

Adam:
And now we're going to see if we can shake this bridge apart.

Rob Lee:
Uh, hold on Adam...

Adam:
[in a flashback clip] I promise that if this works, we'll use this power only for good.

Rob Lee:
Yeah, right Adam.

Rob Lee:
Keen-eyed observers will note that the guys are actually standing on the bridge they're trying to destroy. Confidence in Tesla's machine isn't exactly sky high.

Adam:
Neither Jamie or I give a high percentage of anything actually occurring out here, nonetheless MythBusters is nothing if not a compendium of ways in which Jamie and I have been wrong.

Tory:
I'll do the lava lamps.

Kari:
I'll do the stove.

Grant:
[pauses] ...I'll do the math.

Rob Lee:
While Grant calculates with what to do with his day off...

Grant:
A theory is that the shock of cold water will- [lava lamp suddenly explodes]

Tory:
[Laughs] You should have seen the look on your face, it was priceless.

Jamie:
[commenting on the penetrating power of piano wire on the palm tree] Hey, what do you think? You think we can get that [piano] wire to go all the way through an engine block?

Tory:
Cool, we get to torture yogurt!

Adam:
I love hearing big sounds in the next room.

Adam:
[being whacked repetitively on the shoulder by the cable] Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow.

Adam:
Oh please, please, let there be a pig cut in half in there!

Adam:
(Referring to their lack of success in cutting the pig in half) Can we get a sword?

Jamie:
(laughs) Meat cleaver?

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
The voice of an angel rings out...

Kari:
(yells at full volume) TORY!

Rob Lee:
...or maybe, make that the devil.

Tory:
That was a good one, Kari. Now I know what it would be like to be married to you.

Jamie:
It was the lard that did it!

[A strange noise sounds when Jamie opens an air cylinder]:

Jamie:
These tanks are actually filled with geese...and they're complaining.

Adam:
(silence) Was that a joke? Fascinating...

Tory:
Alright, Grant. I'm ready to start breaking windows with rocks, but before I stick you in that car to shoot it, I wanna make sure we can actually break a windshield with a rock.

Adam:
The only thing that differentiates you and me from a couple of 14 year-old pyromaniacs... is ballistic glass.

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
...there's a chance that maybe Adam will let [Jamie] forget about it.

Adam:
[imitating Jamie] It's not about winning or losing, it's about proving the concept. [normal voice, slightly giddy] But I won!!!

Rob Lee:
...But unlikely.

[Tory has swung a hammer at a nail, but missed.]

Tory:
I was inches away from hitting it.

Kari:
Inches?

Grant:
"I was just inches away!"

[Tory swings again and misses again.]

Tory:
I hit the same spot as before.

Grant:
Then why don't you put the nail there? (laughs)

Rob Lee:
It's worth noting that a smart remark rarely goes unpunished.

[Tory swings again, but the hammer slips out of his hand and hits Grant]

Kari:
You see that hole where it blasted off?

Tory:
No.

Kari:
Nope, neither do I.

Adam:
So, we need you guys's help. Um, we wanna focus on the large-scale experiment, and we want you guys to do the bench tests for us; the small-scale experiments.

Kari:
Aye, aye, captain! Whatcha need?

Rob Lee:
With a plan as concrete as that, what could possibly go wrong?

Adam:
Perfect. I'll tell you what. Um, all we need is to get him up to 120 mph. That's a human's terminal velocity; we know that from umpteen myths we've done about people falling.

Tory:
Well, OK, considering we're going to be blowing up a sheet of glass, it's probably a good idea to, uh, give ourselves a little bit of protection.

Adam:
Say it with me, "Jamie wants big boom!"

Rob Lee:
But first, they need to do some shopping, which will highlight another question: "How many MythBusters does it take to buy a lightbulb?"

Kari:
These will explode, these will melt, this will kill you-this is great.

Grant:
Welcome to my world.