My Family, Series 5 (2004-5)

Micheal had last night kissed his mother when she was asleep on the couch thinking she was his girlfriend...:

Susan:
We should have told you all not to worry about our relationship in the first place

Micheal:
Is that why you slept on the couch?

Everyone stares at him judgingly:

Micheal:
I just.. know...

Susan:
We just got married!

Ben:
I still don't want kids.

(Ben arrives home to find Susan auditioning numerous clowns for Kenzo's third birthday party)

Ben Harper:
Susan, I though we had a deal that you'd warn me when the inlaws were coming?

Susan Harper:
Oh, I'm glad your here. I'd like to introduce you to Cheerful Charlie Chortle, Uncle Morris, and The Amazing Beppo.

Ben Harper:
Well if they're here, who's running the country?

Ben Harper:
Good God! No wonder Charlie Chortle's chortling, look how much Charlie Chortles charging!

Susan Harper:
Actually we're not having Charlie Chortle. He's having gall bladder surgery.

Ben Harper:
Can't the kids watch that? It'll be cheaper and funnier.