Birds of a Feather, Series Five

Tracey:
Calm down, we ain't in San Antonio now.

Sharon:
Brilliant night, though, weren't it?

Tracey:
Yeah! Here, where are the kids?

Dorien:
The sun's coming back up, Rosa's obviously has gone back to her coffin. I'd better go, we really must do this again sometime.

Sharon:
Great! When?

Dorien:
How about when hell freezes over? Ciao!

[Knocking]

Sharon:
What was that?

Tracey:
It was out the back by the pool.

Dorien:
Oh my god, burglars, call the police.

Sharon:
We can't.

Dorien:
Why not?

Sharon:
The filter unit was on police five last week.

Tracey:
Let's go and have a look. Give me that bottle.

[Sharon, Tracey and Dorien creep towards the door and find Garth and Rosa in the Jacuzzi]

Tracey:
GARTH!

Garth:
[stands up] Mum!

[Rosa laughs]

Dorien:
Heavens, hasn't it grown?

[Sharon, Tracey and Dorien are playing Monopoly]

Sharon:
Your go, Trace.

[Tracey rolls the dice]

Tracey:
Four.

Sharon:
Which means you've landed on... Dorien's Boobs!

[Dorien and Tracey look perplexed]

Sharon:
Otherwise known as the Community Chest.

Dorien:
Yes, thank you Sharon, at least I don't have to buy my bras from High & Mighty.

Tracey:
Go to jail?

Sharon:
Well, that's handy, if you see Chris give him a kick up the cobbler for me, will you?

[Sharon rolls the dice]

Sharon:
Nine. Which means I'm on...

Dorien:
Park Lane, which happens to be owned by moi, and look, I've got a hotel on it.

Sharon:
Knocking shop, more like.