Birds of a Feather, Series Four

Dorien [dressed in a leotard]:
Coo-ee!!

Sharon:
It's an OAP from Fame.

Dorien:
He doesn't seem interested. I don't understand it!

Sharon:
Perhaps you're being too subtle.

Dorien:
I hardly think so. When he came round this morning, I opened the door in my underwear.

Sharon:
I didn't know you had a door in your underwear! What is it - a tradesmen's entrance?

Dorien:
It isn't funny.

Sharon:
It is.

Dorien:
There I was, standing in front of him, half naked.

Sharon:
What happened?

Dorien:
Nothing, he took one look at my body and said he'd come back when I've finished the ironing.

Dorien:
He just doesn't know what he's missing, a woman of my experience can show him things he'd never seen before.

Sharon:
Yeah, but perhaps he's not turned on by liver spots and stretch marks.

Dorien:
Well, I'm not beaten yet, I'll have that Bret Warner's amazing technicolor jockstrap hanging off the end of my four poster if I have to prise it off with a crowbar.