Cheap Seats, Season 3

Randy:
The Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee.

Jason:
Where kids just get to be kids.

Jason:
Who are put on a stage in front of a nationally televised audience and asked to spell words that would make a dictionary editor wet his pants.

Jason:
Remember most of these kids are only 12 or 13.

Randy:
And at a puberal age your number one goal is just to fit in.

Jason:
Wait a minute, what was that word you just said.

Randy:
Puberal

Jason:
Ah what's the language of origin please?

Randy:
It's Latin.

Jason:
Definiation please.

Randy:
Puberal. Of or relating to puberty. Puberal

Jason:
Could you use it in a sentence please?

Randy:
You were pretty damn ugly when you were puberal.

Jason:
Yeah well you were puberally pathetic. I didn't know you were in a mariachi band.

Randy:
Well I looked like you ok, so whose laughing now huh. Spell the word.

Jason:
Puberal...P.U.B.E.R.R.A.L. Puberal. (ding)

Randy:
Oh sorry. This must be bringing up a lot of stuff for you?

Jason:
No it's not.

Jason:
He's intern.

Randy:
I thought interns in Washington liked to work under the desk. Folks!!

Randy:
I did it all for the gnocchi!! The gnocchi!!

Jason:
Come on

Randy:
So you can take that cookie!!! And stick it up your..!!!

Jason:
Alright that's enough.

Jason:
Cameron you dirty bird.

Sohini Ramachandran:
Succedaneum

Randy:
Man, when your word is almost a complete sentence, you know your in trouble.

Randy:
She's got it.

Sohini:
C.C.

Jason:
She's got it!

Sohini:
D

Jason:
She's got it!!!

Sohini:
A. N. I

Sklars:
uuuuh!!!

Randy:
No PlayStation for you.

Beamy:
Hey guys, I have a favorite.

Randy:
Beamy

Jason:
Beamy! Our favorite Cheap Seats beam. What are you doing?

Beamy:
Well you know, just hanging out watching the bee having a little gin.

Randy:
That's a little weird.

Beamy:
Yeah i guess im off the wagon.

Jason:
Ok well who's your favorite in the 95 bee?

Beamy:
Well i got alot of money riding on Justin Carroll.

Randy:
Wait, you bet on this?

Beamy:
Yeah i used to have kind of a bad gambling problem. So I guess I'm off that wagon too. Well see you guys later.

Jason:
Ok wow seeing a new side of Beamy here.

Randy:
Well lets get back to the action and see if he's right.

Beamy:
You know what is is fucking heating up.

Sklars:
Whoa!

Jason:
Ok

Randy:
Beamy

Jason:
Relax man

Beamy:
Hey what I am relaxed what are you talking about?

Randy:
are you drunk?

Beamy:
Hey (beep) damn right Im drunk i got 15 grand riding on this thing.

Jason:
Alright guys you know what can we loss the beam effect.

Randy:
Yeah this is really uncool you don't just show up to work drunk Jon.

Beamy:
Whoa who's Jon. My name is Beamy.

Jason:
Alright fine Beamy! You obviously have a drinking problem, you very clearer have a gambling problem you need help. I don't know how much more clearly we can spell it out for you.

Beamy:
Well maybe i can spell it out for you. S P E..Fuck you.

Randy:
Alright

Jason:
oh Come on! Cut him off

Beamy:
Cut you off

Randy:
Get him some coffee.

Beamy:
You go coffee

Jason:
Alright we'll be back after this.

Beamy:
You..I..You be back.

Sklars:
We will be back

Randy:
Actually

Beamy:
Good maybe when you come back you (Beep!)

Jason:
Oh come on!

Randy:
What?

Sklar Brothers:
Bee the shit out of this motherfucker!

Jason:
Now he's just making shit up.

Randy:
I knew I should have spent more time going over my poisons damn it.

Randy:
Is he on his knees.

Jason:
It's Dorf on spelling.

Jason:
Are there any phonebooks for this kid to stand on.

Jason:
And next to him are the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.

Randy:
Damn you tight shot!

Randy:
Damn paparazzi!

Randy:
I love you microphone

Jason:
What did I tell you about wearing shorts?

Randy:
No one can see.

Jason:
I can.

Randy:
Man when Jamie Foxx researches a role he really goes all out.

Jason:
Georgia!

Jason:
Alright enough fucking around is it or is it not French.

(Making fun of Abbie Dick)

Jason:
Think this girl got teased when she was a kid.

Randy:
Sure being from Hedgesville and all.

Jason:
What's up Hedgehead.

Randy:
Hedgehog.

Randy:
She was probably preoccupied with trying to find a husband so she could take his last name.

Jason:
Although if she marries Luther Head and they decide to hyphenate, you got problems.

Jason:
The voices in his head must be really funny.

Rebecca:
Che

Jason:
ah.

Rebeeca:
ve

Jason:
oh

Rebecca:
lure

Jason:
And people are already leaving.

Rebecca:
C

Jason:
whoa.

Rebecca:
h.

Jason:
ok.

Rebbeca:
e.

Rebecca:
v.

Rebbeca:
e.

Jason:
Inside voice Rebecca.

Rebbeca:
l

Rebecca:
u

Rebecca:
r

Rebecca:
e, I'm I correct?

Jason:
I wanna say no.

Jason:
Raise the roof bitches.

Randy:
Where the hell is she going?

Jason:
Back to Jupiter.

Randy:
"You know this guy is kicking himself for not bringing his tripod.

Jason:
"Or for wasting four years in film school for this.

Randy:
What the hell is he doing below the camera line.

Jason:
They won't even show it. It's like Elvis on Sullivan.

Jason:
What do you think imaginary spelling dinosaur.

Randy:
Well I think your fucking crazy Rebecca.

Jason:
Here's an alternate pronunciation. Spell the fu*king word!

Jason:
Mmm this microphone smells like words.

Jason:
Promise me microphone that whatever happens you'll still love me and my imaginary dinosaur.

Announcer:
Will Rebecca Sealfon spell erythema right and move on in the Bee? Will Ron Parker reclaim the show for his own? Will Randy and Jason be out of a job? Will Gina learn to love again? Will there be a season four of Cheap Seats? Find out on season four of Cheap Seats to find out.

1995 Spelling Bee [3.2]:
Jason: "Today we're going to revisit one of our favorite non-sports.

1995 Spelling Bee [3.2]:
Sklar Brothers: "Spelling, spelling words on the dance floor. Spelling till you cant even spell no more. Spelling on a Sunday afternoon."

1995 Spelling Bee [3.2]:
Randy: Who's next to Cameron?

1995 Spelling Bee [3.2]:
Sklar Brothers: "Mcnutt!!"

1995 Spelling Bee [3.2]:
Randy: "McHell Yeah"

1995 Spelling Bee [3.2]:
Patrick Mcnutt: Can you use it in a sentence please.

Randy:
Ok cilantro as in seriously dude you've never heard of cilantro.

1995 Spelling Bee [3.2]:
Jason: "Mcnutt, Mcstalling."

1995 Spelling Bee [3.2]:
Jason: "Ok he's got this one in the Mcbag."

1995 Spelling Bee [3.2]:
Cameron: Ladled a cream sauce over the gnocchi.

1995 Spelling Bee [3.2]:
Cameron: Succedaneum

1995 Spelling Bee [3.2]:
Jason: "Dear lord explain to me why I get this word and Mcnuff gets cilantro. And I want a PlayStation 2 for Christmas. Ahem."

1995 Spelling Bee [3.2]:
Sohini: Succedaneum. S.

1995 Spelling Bee [3.2]:
Jason: And Even though things are getting interesting, its hard to pick a clear favorite.

1995 Spelling Bee [3.2]:
Randy: Who's the cutest little speller in the world?

Sklars:
Gooy! Gooy! Gooy!

1995 Spelling Bee [3.2]: Wendy Guey: Y Jason: Cos I said so, damn it.

1995 Spelling Bee [3.2]:
Jason: "Oh!! Piano man went off!!"

1995 Spelling Bee [3.2]:
Randy: "The Vindicator is a newspaper?"

Jason:
No, it's Vin Diesel's website. He's really into spelling.

1995 Spelling Bee [3.2]:
Randy: What! I wouldn't have expect spelling bee contestant among her earlier work.

Jason:
I heard she beat out Jill Kelly and Kobi Tai during the regionals.

1995 Spelling Bee [3.2]:
Cameron: The hiemal weather took its total on Vera's old house.

Jason:
And that's when the gardener showed up.

1995 Spelling Bee [3.2]:
Jason: "Is he trying to hear Cameron through the microphone."

1995 Spelling Bee [3.2]:
Randy: Well things are really heating up Justin Carroll is on...

1995 Spelling Bee [3.2]:
Jason: "Ow! my face the smiling's killing me. Stop clapping! stop clapping damn you!"

1995 Spelling Bee [3.2]:
Katie: So what are you going to do now with your winnings and now that your the National Spelling Bee Champion.

Jason:
I'll probably buy some friends. Kids can be pretty shallow.

Randy:
I told you wide world would cover this nonsense. Next year I'm gonna try out a monkey.

Sam Nassi (Pacers owner):
I don't know basketball.

Jason:
And who would expect you to know about basketball. You're just an NBA franchise owner

Sam Nassi (Pacers owner):
When I bought the club I went to the Indianapolis 500

Randy:
because I thought the Pacers were a racing team. I'm learning people be patient with me.

Jason:
Well the good thing is people in Indiana don't really take their basketball too seriously so you're in good shape there

Randy:
An Austrian Emmy? (He was talking about the Superstars trophy)

Jason:
No, it's Schwarzenegger's hood ornament

Randy :
Superstars rule number 1: if your best highlights are in black & white, you've got no shot.

Keith Jackson:
Another Olympian Guy Drut of France

Randy:
At least his highlights are in color.

Keith Jackson:
1976 Celebrity Superstars champion Kevin Dobson

Randy:
Who? Where was Telly Savalas?

Jason:
auditioning for Cannonball Run.

Keith Jackson:
From The Los Angeles Dodgers first baseman Steve Garvey

Jason:
He even rounds the bases like a bitch.

Keith Jackson:
Pro Football representatives include...

Randy:
That Doesn't even look like a star. (He was talking about Dave Casper)

Jason:
It looks like a character from Mummenschanz.

Keith Jackson:
Quarterback Steve Grogan of the New England Patriots.....

Jason:
He's Alan Partridge

Randy:
No, He's a Hungover Wayne Gretzky

Keith Jackson:
The Houston Oilers dynamic Billy "White Shoes" Johnson, the man with the smooth moves.....

Randy:
Did they burst into his room at 2 am to take that picture?

Keith Jackson:
And wide receiver Lynn Swann of the Pittsburgh Steelers, the home run receiver.

Randy:
Looks like Lynn cut his hair to fit in the star, now that's commitment.