Codename: Kids Next Door, Season 5

Delightful Children:
Thank you fellow students for electing US as your new president. We think you'll find the rest of the school year to be quite... delightful.

Mrs. Van der Baan:
Mr. Dickson! I'd prefer if you and Mr. Cavallaro [distressed, worriedly] discussed invading elementary schools [continuing angry] after my class!

Chad and Chuckie:
[disappointed, sadly] Yes, Mrs. Van der Baan.

Numbuh 2:
Alright, where'd that baby go?

Numbuh 2:
AAH! I'm hit! everything's going stinky!

Ernest:
[on the recorded message] Hello, this is an anonymous message...from Ernest. Perhaps you think that your [insert breakable object here] is missing. But the truth is, [insert name of kid here] has taken it to a Vaseball to be smashed into eleventy billion pieces! Thank you.

Numbuh 1:
I guess we can all have fun in our own way.

Numbuh 3:
Hooray!

Narrator:
Look out, true believer. With bones of solid peppermintium, the ferocious leader of Santa's elite strike force, ELFA Strike, is Wintergreen!

Delightful Children:
[the REINDEER System turn them into Grinch-like monsters] Help us, please! You must help us!

Numbuh 1:
[regarding the teens' prom] Now, I'm going to flow the meeting to Numbuh 2, who has prepared an elaborate computer stimulation of our plan to solve!

Numbuh 4:
Oh yeah! This is gonna rock!

Numbuh 2:
Well... I kinda didn't have time to make computer stimulation, so... I made a diorama instead! But it should still explain our basic attack the same way. First, we'll be like OOOOOGHH Wah WHOOSH! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! The teenagers go WAH! It's the Kids Next Door! Then we'll be like WOOOO SWWWAAAMM! And then they're like AAH NO HELP US! HELP US! Then we'll be like RRRAARRGHH! RARARARAGGRGHH! Then they'll go OH NO, PLEASE! We surrender! [ends up destroying his diorama and smiles]

Numbuh 4:
That's the same diarrhea thing you made for history class!

Numbuh 3:
Toilet-paper tube to chew on, sir? Chew tube? Would you like a chew tube? Chew tube for you? [ Squeaking ] okay, I'll bring you your sunflower seeds in a second! Chew tu- r-r-r-r-r-r! Dmitri, what did I say about squirting soda on a national flight?!

Father:
That kid doesn't get out much does he?

Numbuh 86:
He's from the 19th century.

Father:
The 19th century? Get out of here.

Numbuh 86:
It's true. He's like, never seen cars and stuff. Go on. Ask him something.

Father:
[Calling to Numbuh 19th Century] Hey, 19th century kid?! You want to watch a cartoon, on the television?

Numbuh 19th Century:
What are cartoons? And what is this thing called...tel-e-vision?

[Father and Numbuh 86 laughs until Numbuh 19th Century licks the cake]

Father:
Hey, what do you think you're doing?! Nobody except for my delightful children is allowed to eat this cake!

Numbuh 3:
I'll take one of those!

[Numbuh 3 tricks the Ice Cream Henchman to look behind himself]

Henchman:
One of what?

[She tries to squeeze his shoulder to make him unconscious, but it did not work.]

Henchman:
What are you doing?

Numbuh 3:
Eh, sorry.

Numbuh 5:
Hello. Try this. [Numbuh 5 uses a S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R.]

[Numbuh 5 disguised herself as henchman]

Henchman:
Hey, aren't you a little short to be an ice cream man?

Numbuh 5:
Aw, come on. I'm taller than that guy.

Henchman:
Where? [looks away; Numbuh 3 tries to squeeze his shoulder but it did not work again] Thanks! I had the worst crick in the shoulder-

Numbuh 5:
[holding an ice cream gun] Try this next time.

Mr. Boss:
What are you doing in my house, Numbuh 1? And what are you doing out of bed, Shaunie?

Shaunie:
I was just getting a drink of water dad.

Nigel Uno:
Mr. Boss I should've known that a villain like you would do such a thing like that to a kids hair but to your own son?

Mr. Boss:
What it looks great a real work of art if you ask me.

Numbuh 1:
Cut that out we're taking Shaunie away and putting him into the Kids Next Door haircut protection program so that you'll never do to him what you did to Paddy.

Mr. Boss:
Oh no you don't Shaunie go to your room.

Shaunie:
Alright dad.

Numbuh 83:
Dark...Base...MENT!

Mushi Sanban:
[laughs in evilly] I'll get you Gilligan! I'll get you and if it's a LAST THING I DO! [she and King Sandy riding away]

Numbuh 2:
Kindergarteners.

Numbuh 1:
What's that smell? Who's cooking hamburgers?

Numbuh 5:
I don't know about hamburgers, but your buns are burning!

Kani Sanban:
[after Numbuh 1 told him to go home and lower the temperature; visibly suffering from heat frustration] HA! I can't even get near the thermostat! IT'S SO HOT! [regains composure and sit on the chair] I'm staying right here where it's nice and comfortable.

Numbuh 5:
Oh Hey Heiny!

Heinrich Von Marzipan:
Abigail, I, I, never got ein chance to zank you for saving me.

Numbuh 5:
Oh that's cool, Maybe this makes us even for Guatemala?

Heinrich Von Marzipan:
Not even close!, Not even if you saved mein life two zousand times! I-

Numbuh 5:
Chill out, man. Numbuh 5 was just kidding. Besides, you can thank me once we get back.

Heinrich Von Marzipan:
Uh, Back vhere, Fery funny, Abigail Lincoln!, I'll get out!, Und I'll finally haff mein revenge on you, Abigail!

[talking to KND Operatives via computers]

Numbuh 362:
What? Okay. We're on it. Goodbye! [to another computer] Look, I don't care which level you’re on, Jonnee. Put that video game down right now, and find out what Knightbrace is doing at the kipsie! [to another computer] Sector V, D, Q, I told you I want that broccoli bar shut down ASA now! Moonbase out! [bumps on Numbuh 65.3]

Numbuh 65.3:
Sir, I need these official orders signed 73.0 seconds ago, sir!

Numbuh 362:
I'm sorry, Numbuh 65.3... [gets hit by a frisbee] Aw!

KND Operative 1:
Hey, a little help, Numbuh 362?

Numbuh 362:
[picks the frisbee and throws it back] Would you guys mind playing Whizbee on the Whizbee deck and not on my bridge?

KND Operative 1:
Uhh, yes sir ma'am! [to another operative] Hey dude, go on this time!

Numbuh 65.3:
Sir, what about those papers that need authorization?

Numbuh 362:
Uh... I...

Numbuh 96:
Numbuh 362! Sector B is under attack by angry history teachers!

KND Operative 2:
Sir, the cotton candy machine is filled with ants!

[random operatives came and kept babbling to Numbuh 362]

Numbuh 362:
[tensed] Uh, Uh-huh... okay... I'll get on that... yeah, I'll try... [gets hit again with a frisbee] AW!

KND Operative 1:
A little help, Numbuh 362!

Numbuh 362:
[flared up] Ooh that's it! I want every Kids Next Door Operative at the Kids Next Door Super Convention Center for a quick-topelate portanic super secret meeting at 0500!

Numbuh 2:
Oh, boy! If Numbuh 362 called for a meeting here, it's gotta be something really cool!

Numbuh 1:
[enthusiastically] Maybe she's going to commend us in front of everyone for our defeat of the mid-west moment of homemade coastal beast!

Numbuh 4:
Well, whatever this is about, it better be quick... I got to pee so bad, I...

Numbuh 86:
KIDS NEXT DOOR, ATTENTION!

Numbuh 362:
At ease, everyone. I've got something super-double important to tell you all. It's something that I hate to do, but simply can't wait any longer. I'd like to say...

Numbuh 4:
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Numbuh 362!

Numbuh 362:
Yes, Numbuh 4?

Numbuh 4:
Can I go to the bathroom? Please?!

Numbuh 362:
Can't it wait? I'm kind of in the middle of something important here...

Numbuh 4:
But really...really... REALLY...!

Numbuh 362:
[angry] Okay! Just go already!

Numbuh 4:
Yes! [left for the bathroom]

Numbuh 362:
What I was trying to say is that running this organization is all-consuming job. One that requires strength, patience, and your willingness to share your candy with everyone. At this point, I feel I have exhausted those very things. So it is this time, my fellow Kids Next Door, that I must say... [to Numbuh 86] TAG! You're it!

Numbuh 86:
HAAAAH?! [everyone gets shocked and emptied the stadium] I'm it?! What'll I do, what'll I do?!

Numbuh 4:
[just got out of the bathroom] Hey... Thought I was going to explode the... hey, where'd everybody go?

Numbuh 86:
Tag! You're it!

Numbuh 4:
Hey! Come back here!

[Numbuh 362 surprised with Numbuh 1]

Numbuh 1:
Relax! It's just me.

Numbuh 362:
Ugh, sorry Numbuh 1... I thought you might be it.

Numbuh 1:
Yeah... wouldn't want that one now, would we?

Numbuh 1:
So... Why don't you want to be it now, Rachel? Isn't it fun anymore?

Numbuh 362:
Fun? Everyone knows there's nothing fun about being Supreme Leader of the Kids Next Door! That's why we have that stupid game of tag to decide who does it.

Numbuh 1:
But you wanted the job back when Chad left, and you've been the best one yet! I mean, other your leadership, there's been a 60% reduction of the world's broccoli supply!

Numbuh 362:
Please. It's operatives like you do the real work. I'm just stuck on the moon base doing paperwork, I don't get to go on missions anymore, I have to feed eleventy hundred kids with short attention spans organized... I just don't want to do it anymore, Nigel... So I called in a game of tag. Whoever's it at noon, leading the Kids Next Door will be their problem.