Codename: Kids Next Door, Season 6

Numbuh 1:
There is a story, some kids tell, of when the world was ruled by an evil adult. A story about a boy, a book, and a tree.

Numbuh 1:
Some kids say Numbuh 0's victory that day was the dawn of the Seventh Age of the Kids Next Door. Others say this story is only make-believe. There never was a Numbuh 0, and there is no book of KND. But I believe the book exists, and I know what I will write in those pages if I ever find it. [Puts on his sunglasses] Five words only: I am Kids Next Door.

[Numbuh 1 is huddled next to the stairs.]

Numbuh 1 Some hero I am. I've ruined everything. [Takes off his sunglasses] I don't deserve to wear these glasses! [Throws his sunglasses at a trash can, knocking it down and revealing the Recommissioning Module, with Numbuh 1's booger inside] Huh?

Numbuh 101:
The recommissioning module. Its power source is Numbuh 0's booger. You have his DNA. You can track down the greatest hero the Kids Next Door have ever known and recommission him. You can save the world!

[Numbuh 1 looks up at the stage to see Numbuh 101 speaking into a can.]

Numbuh 1:
What are you doing, Matt?

Numbuh 101:
Um, well, I never got your autograph in red.

Numbuh 1:
[Jumps up onto the stage] Jeez! You are such a fan boy. [Snatches the autograph book from Numbuh 101, writes down something on it, and gives it back to him] There! Now, if you don't mind, I have an appointment with a hero. [Puts his sunglasses back on]

Numbuh 101:
[Gives Numbuh 1 the K.N.D.N.A. Tracker] Don't forget the K.N.D.N.A. Tracker!

Numbuh 1:
Uh- [Takes the K.N.D.N.A. Tracker from Numbuh 101] -right, then. [Activates his J.E.T.A.B.O.O.T.S.] Wish me luck! [Flies off through the hole in the ceiling with the Recommissioning Module and the K.N.D.N.A. Tracker]

Numbuh 101:
[Wipes a tear from his eye while watching Numbuh 1 fly off through the hole in the ceiling] Wow. [Looks at his autograph book] Finally, I've got Numbuh 1's autograph in- [Discovers what Numbuh 1 wrote on his autograph book] Hey! You're not George Washington! Oh! I hate when you guys do stuff like that. [Walks away] It ruins the whole autograph book. I mean, seriously.

Numbuh 86:
Hurry up with that device, will ya!?

Numbuh 2:
Look, this wouldn't be easy for me even if I had the right tools.

Numbuh 86:
Typical boy. Always an excuse for everything!

Numbuh 2:
You're no picnic yourself, Numbuh 86. You really need to lighten up. Try yoga or something.

Benedict/Father:
You... big... JERK! Now you've made me angry! VERY, VERY, VERRYYY...!

Benedict/Grandfather:
Is this the cafeteria? It's mushy bean night, you know.

Monty Uno:
Oh, hello, pappy. I didn't know you were coming for a visit. I wish I would've had a chance to tidy up.

Numbuh 1:
[Picks up the Recommissioning Module] Okay, Numbuh 0. Let's recommission you again. [The Recommissioning Module falls apart] No! Not now! You can't break now!

[A holographic video appears.]

Numbuh 0:
Hello, son.

Numbuh 1:
Dad?

Numbuh 0:
If you're watching this, then we've won. Congratulations. You're probably wondering why the Recommissioning Module is broken. Well, I broke it. I had a hunch you might want to use it to get Numbuh 0 back. Well- look, I would love to have tons more adventures with the super cool Numbuh 1 and his team, but I'm- just not a kid anymore. I'm an adult, and I need to complete the most important mission of my life, being a good father to my son. So you're the keeper of the book now, Nigel. That's right. Keep a stiff upper lip, and make sure everyone gets to write their own crackerjack story. [Salutes Numbuh 1]

[As the message ends, Numbuh 1 salutes. He sobs when Monty comes up behind him.]

Monty Uno:
I say, what's going on around here, old bean? You kids building one of your two-four techno-bob thingies?

Numbuh 1:
No, Dad. [Hugs Monty. Monty hugs him back] I was just playing with an old friend.

Numbuh 1:
There is a story, some kids tell, of not so long ago, when the world was almost ruled by an evil adult. A story about a boy, his dad, a book, and a tree. It's the true story of how I found the book of KND, and what I wrote in it. Five words only: We are Kids Next Door.

Numbuh 2:
[annoyed after Numbuh 4 hurt his baby brother, Joey's feelings] Ugh. Nice brotherly love there, Mr. Sensitive.

Numbuh 4:
We don't have time for stupid babies getting in our way! We've got to get the rest of the Kids Next Door out and stop those other two robots from making everything so safe! It's no fun anymore!

Numbuh 122:
Fight?! Over a Rainbow Monkey book?! What do you think we are? Americans?

[Numbuh 1 is talking in British slang, apparently telling a funny joke as everyone laughs]

Mr Uno:
That's a good'un son!

Numbuh 1:
Yet, I have no idea what I just said

Numbuh 1:
You want to get your hand off me?!

Numbuh 513:
You want to make me?!

Numbuh 1:
I don't make trash. I just burn it!

Numbuh 513:
And I don't eat me chips in a lorry when the vicar's pushing the pram across the square!

Numbuh 1:
And I don't- what on earth's a lorry?!

Numbuh 4:
Well, it's 2000 hours! So where's Mr. You-Better-Not-Be-Late-Or-Else?

Numbuh 3:
Maybe his watch broke.

Numbuh 2:
Unpossible. Numbuh 1 always wears two back-up watches.

Numbuh 5:
Don't worry, he'll show. [smacks Numbuh 4's hand as he plays with his watch] Stop playing with your watch, Numbuh 4! It won't make Numbuh 1 get here any sooner.

Numbuh 2:
Well, we can't wait any longer, otherwise, we'll miss our opportunity. The villains don't get together in one spot very often.

Numbuh 5:
Yeah. Numbuh 1 will catch up when he gets here.

Numbuh 4:
If he ever does get here.

Numbuh 4:
So what are all these cruddy villains getting together for, anyways?

Numbuh 2:
Pipe down, it's starting!

Father:
Hey, you, stop right there! So you thought you could sneak pass me, eh? Well, I want your stupid catering vehicle out of my parking spot, pronto. Oh, is that key lime pie?

Numbuh 4:
Are you kidding? That plan will never work. [back at the treehouse] I can't believe that plan worked!

Numbuh 5:
And no thanks to Numbuh 1.

Numbuh 2:
Yeah. Maybe he's our weak link.

Father:
[after Sector V rescue Numbuh 1; enraged] Kids Next Door! They stole my award!

Mr. Boss:
Your award?! I was gonna win that award!

Stickybeard:
Ye've got carmael on the brain if ye thinks anyone would vote for you!

[Mr. Boss, Father, Gramma Stuffum, and Stickybeard all start arguing indistinctly and then get into a violent fight]

Numbuh 1:
What took you so long?! That was the most hairbrained rescue plan I've seen in my ENTIRE LIFE!

[During the end credits…]

News Reporter:
Oh, here come the villains! Common Cold looks simply runny today. Oh, there's the Toiletnator, wearing a flu-mucus tuxedo. Oh, Father, over here! Are there any hard feelings between you and Stickybeard?

Father:
Let me tell you... Next time I see Stickybeard, he better run to his candy closet, 'cause I'm not sugarcoating the hurting he's gonna get!

News Reporter:
Here comes Stickybeard, now!

Father:
[scared] Oh, boy!

Stickybeard:
Stickybeard heard every word you said, you char-brained galley rat!

Lizzie Devine:
[Looks down the open roof window] Ooh, that looks like a fun party! There's streamers, and balloons, and- [Discovers what she sees down the open roof window] -salad?

Numbuh 1:
[Grabs Lizzie by her arms] That is not a fun party, Lizzie. [Points down at the open roof window] Those are school principals down there, and they're planning to turn our recess into a permanent workcamp.

Lizzie Devine:
Well, what's wrong with a little old-fashioned work instead of goofing around on the playground?! Recess is dumb!

Numbuh 1:
Well, if recess is dumb, then I don't want to be smart. There is a school. No. A world of kids out there who live for a little bit of time when they can turn off their brains, and play tag, swing on swings, and slide down the slide.

Lizzie Devine:
But what about our date?

Numbuh 1:
This isn't about us, Lizzie. [Holds Lizzie's head] It's about preserving what we were meant to do. It's about- playing. But if you think one date is more important than saving a lifetime of recesses, then so be it. I'll abort the mission and leave with you.

Lizzie Devine:
[Crying, hugs Numbuh 1 from behind] Oh, Nigie! That was so beautiful!

Numbuh 1:
Uh, thanks.

Principal:
This salad dressing tastes like boogies!

[Numbuh 1 wakes up on a hospital bed screaming. He discovers that he is in a hospital room in the KND Moonbase Hospital.]

Numbuh 1:
Where- Where am I?

KND Doctor:
[Standing at the doorway] Kids Next Door Moonbase Hospital. [Walks over to Numbuh 1] Your teammates brought you here after you were knocked out by one of the Toiletnator's potty bombs.

Numbuh 1:
How long have I been out?

KND Doctor:
[Writes on a clipboard] Well, only about ten minutes or so.

Numbuh 1:
That's impossible! It had to be longer than that! I was in some other world where I was the President! And, ooh, ooh, they wanted me to sign a bill that would destroy the Kids Next Door! It was a test or something!

KND Doctor:
You need better hair than that to be President. Come on. [Numbuh 1 gets down from the bed] Let's get some cake and ice cream in you to get your strength back up.

[Numbuh 1 and the KND doctor walk out of the room.]

Numbuh 1:
But it wasn't a dream! It was more than that!

[As Numbuh 1 and the KND doctor leave, two mysterious figures look on from above.]

Mysterious figure:
I'd say Numbuh 1 performed well, don't you think?

Other mysterious figure:
He's not ready yet. Proceed with the test- [Gives the mysterious figure a case file. The mysterious figure takes it] -but discontinue use of Chester's happy headband to influence his dreams. I don't want him catching on to us- yet.

Spinach Henchmen:
Eat spinach-us or else-us, we sing-us

[Numbuh 2 walks to a truck with a Rainbow Monkey theme]

Numbuh 2:
[Surprised] This can't be the truck.

[Numbuh 2 presses the button on his key. The truck beeps the "Rainbow Monkey" theme song]

Numbuh 2:
[Disappointed] It is the truck.

[A rock band introduces themselves to the Delightful Children.]

The Upper Crusts:
...We are the Upper Crusts.

Delightful Children:
The who?

The Upper Crusts:
No. The Upper Crusts.

[Numbuh Jedediah wakes up Numbuh 2, who is sleeping in a barn.]

Numbuh Jedediah:
Wake up.

Numbuh 2:
Are you kidding me? It's like, 4 in the morning!

Numbuh Jedediah:
[a little surprised] I know. Must have overslept.

Numbuh 1:
Shut up and let me say I'm sorry.

[After Numbuh 362 drives away, Numbuh 1 turns to look out at the night sky. Two mysterious figures look on from afar.]

Mysterious figure:
The computer did excellent work for us.

Other mysterious figure:
Yes. Now all of Numbuh 1's ties are severed.

Mysterious figure:
He's ready.

Numbuh 5:
Hey Heiny, Hard to believe it's five years since the last time we were here in Guatemala. Ah, just a couple of candy hunters after the ultimate prize, and I see you're doing it again. Haven't you learn you lesson?

Heinrich Von Marzipan:
Zis time, it is different, zis time it's to get back, vhat I lost. You see, I found out how.

Numbuh 5:
Really?

Heinrich Von Marzipan:
Ja, und I could use you help. If you could chust hand me vone uf zose bags uf sugar, I'll finish ze circle, und all vill be as it vas.

Numbuh 5:
Of course, Heinrich. Anything I can do to help.

Numbuh 5:
Heinrich, Just share with me, I promise and all will be ok?

Heinrich Von Marzipan:
Vhy should I believe you?

Numbuh 5:
Because, You're more important to me than candies.

Heinrich Von Marzipan:
I, I vas so beautiful.

Numbuh 5:
And then you will be again, I swear it, now come on!

Numbuh 2:
Hey Numbuh 5, who's your friend? Oh what a fox?

Numbuh 5:
This is Henrietta Von Marzipan. She an old friend of mine.

Henrietta Von Marzipan:
Who must now go to help undo ze wrongs I haff done. Zanks for not giving up on me, Abigail. Until ve meet again! Auf Wiedersehen!

Numbuh 5:
Be good, Heiny!

[After Nigel had successfully defeated the training robot; Numbuh 274 claps his hands]

Nigel:
Numbuh 274, sir!

Numbuh 274:
At ease, cadet. You handled that O.C.T.O.-P.A.D.D.L.E.R. pretty well. But do you have what it takes to fight me?

Nigel:
Fight you, sir? No way!

Numbuh 274:
I don't recall giving you a choice, cadet. [attacks Numbuh 1]

Numbuh 1:
It wasn't the "falling in love" part that bothered me. It was the "trying to blow up me and my girlfriend" part.

Numbuh 3:
Ex-girlfriend, you mean. Lizzie dumped you cold, remember?

Numbuh 1:
Vividly.

[As Numbuh 1 leaves to go see what's happening on the bridge and Numbuhs 2, 3, 4, and 5 leave to go unload the ice cream supply ship, two mysterious figures look on from above.]

Mysterious figure:
It is time Numbuh 1 finds out the truth about the splinter cell.

Other mysterious figure:
Time indeed.

[Numbuhs 2, 3, 4, and 5 are talking to Numbuh 48 Flavors on the ice cream supply ship.]

Numbuh 48 Flavors:
Oh, no. There's no way I'm letting you guys on this ship.

Numbuh 5:
Relax, Numbuh 48 Flavors.

Numbuh 4:
Yeah, we just came to help unload.

Numbuh 48 Flavors:
Well, the last time you guys helped, I was missing seventy-five gallons of Choo-Choo chocolate chip, and it came out of my rations.

Numbuh 5:
[Opens the door] Don't worry. We'll just take a little taste- [Gets a strawberry ice cream thrown at her face, knocking her down]

[Chad, Cree, and a teen boy are in the ship.]

Chad:
[Points at Numbuh 5] Too late. We just finished it up. [Throws down another strawberry ice cream]

[Numbuh Infinity is thrown into a glass window by Chad.]

Chad:
You gotta be kidding me! I've worked too hard- [Grabs Numbuh Infinity and pins him against the window] -to be double-crossed like this!

Numbuh Infinity:
You know it was not my decision. They just told me to tell you.

Numbuh 1:
[Comes into the room pointing his S.P.I.C.E.R. at Chad and Numbuh Infinity] Tell him what? [Chad and Numbuh Infinity turn to him]

Numbuh Infinity:
Numbuh 1. Thanks goodness you're here. This teenager broke into my office and attacked me!

Chad:
[Angrily drops Numbuh Infinity] You! [Points at Numbuh 1] Come here, you!

[Numbuh 1 gets ready to open fire on Chad when Numbuh 86 and two KND operatives burst in, knocking Numbuh 1 down. They fire their weapons at Chad, beating him into submission.]

Numbuh 86:
[Makes her way to Numbuh Infinity] Numbuh Infinity- [Helps Numbuh Infinity up] -are you okay?

Numbuh Infinity:
Excellent work, Numbuh 86. But your job is only half done. [Points at Numbuh 1] Arrest that boy!

Numbuh 1:
[Horrified] WHAT?!

Numbuh 1:
Arrest me? For what?

Numbuh Infinity:
Numbuh 1 and Chad were working together to ruin the treaty.

Numbuh 1:
You're lying! [Gets grabbed by two KND operatives] Hey! Get off of me! It's you who's working with Chad. I saw you!

Numbuh Infinity:
Take them to Kids Next Door Arctic Prison. I will not have anyone, kid or teen, get in the way of this.

[Three KND operatives escort Numbuh 1 and Chad out of the room.]

[Numbuh 48 Flavors has just told Numbuhs 2, 3, 4, and 5 that Numbuh 1 and Chad are being taken to KND Arctic Prison.]

Numbuh 5:
[Shocked] He what?! [Angrily] You better not be saying that just to get us to stop eating your ice cream.

Numbuh 48 Flavors:
It's true. Both Chad and Numbuh 1 were arrested. They're being flown to Arctic Prison any minute now. And- [Snatches the ice cream container from Numbuh 5, angrily] -stop eating my ice cream! We won't have enough for the After Treaty luncheon.

[Numbuh 1 and Chad being handcuffed together; being sent to the Arctic Prison.]

Numbuh 1:
[While fighting] What are you and Infinity up to? Tell me!

Chad:
[While fighting] Listen, Uno, the absolute last person I want to be handcuffed to right now is you! And the only thing keeping me from knocking your block off is that I don't want to drag your unconscious butt around when I bust outta here!

Numbuh 1:
And just where do you think you're going?

Chad:
To stop that treaty.

Numbuh 1:
[Surprised] Huh?

Chad:
And unfortunately, wherever I go, you go! [Pulls off the button, then takes out his walkman] Now if you don't mind- [Plugs in his walkman] -it's time to rock! [Plays super noisy music]

[Numbuhs 2, 3, 4, and 5 are walking they see Numbuh Infinity and Numbuh 48 Flavors arguing with each other.]

Numbuh 5:
Check it out.

Numbuh 4:
What do you think that's about?

Numbuh 3:
Maybe he's asking for an extra serving of ice cream at the treaty luncheon.

Numbuh 5:
Or 48 Flavors is part of the Splinter Cell too. Come on. We better go find Numbuh 362 fast.

[Numbuhs 2, 3, 4, and 5 head off to talk to Numbuh 362.]

[After crashing the ship, Numbuh 1 and Chad are walking along the path.]

Numbuh 1:
[Sarcastically] That was brilliant, Chad! Any other ways of getting us killed aside from crashing our ship into a mountain?!

Chad:
Well, at least I got us out so I can stop that treaty!

Numbuh 1:
[Stops Chad] And what makes you think I'll help you do that?

Chad:
Because it's a trap, genius! [Pulls Numbuh 1]

Numbuh 1:
Well of course it's a trap! But then... why would you want to stop it? Unless... you're been double-crossed as well! Of course! The splinter cell's goal is to rid the world of all adults. So it makes sense to include you teenagers as well.

Chad:
[sarcastically] Brilliant deduction. Now will you shut your yap? We're here.

[Numbuh 1 and Chad arrive a grocery in the middle of the deserted place.]

Numbuh 1:
A mini mart?! [sarcastically] Well! I'm so glad you got us here. Now we can stock up on microwave burritos and slushies!

Chad:
Just sit down.

Numbuh 1:
Ooh, that's an even more brilliant idea! Hanging out at the parking lot which will get us in a huge-parking carrier real fast!

Chad:
I said sit down and shut up! [pulls down Numbuh 1]

Numbuh Infinity:
[fixes his bow tie] This calls for some diplomacy. Ahem... GET HIM!

[Numbuhs 2, 3, 4, and 5 fight Numbuh 48 Flavors.]

[Numbuh 1's about to shoot Chad]

Numbuh 5:
No! Don't do it!

Numbuh 1:
Why not?! Give me one reason why I shouldn't finish this traitor once and for all!

Numbuh 5:
Because... he's one of us!

Numbuh 1:
He's what?

Chad:
I'm still a Kids Next Door operative. I always have been!

Numbuh 1:
You expect me to believe that? After all the things you've done?!

Chad:
Everything I've done is been to help the Kids Next Door!

Numbuh 1:
Yeah, right! Trying to send the moon base into the sun really helped us!

Chad:
Cree was on her way to do the same thing, so I had to stop her! And today I was trying to warn Numbuh Infinity about the teens' trap, until you had to come and blow my cover! Practically every mission you and Sector V did, I was right there, helping from the sidelines, and you didn't even know it. But they still picked you instead of me!

Numbuh 1:
Who picked me? The splinter cell?

Chad:
There is no splinter cell, you dupe! They just use that to cover their tracks!

Numbuh 1:
W-Who did?

Chad:
There are others. Others that Numbuh 362 doesn't even know about. Higher up than her. Higher up than us teenage operatives.

[Numbuh 1 is once again looking at a photo of himself and Chad from his cadet days.]

Numbuh 1:
[Voice-over] No one ever saw Numbuh 274 or Numbuh Infinity again. Where they went, we may never know, but it's clear there's more than the Kids Next Door out there.

[Numbuhs 2, 3, 4, and 5 crash into Numbuh 1.]

Numbuh 4:
Come on, Numbuh 1, let's go raid the pizza supply ship.

Numbuh 1:
Well, I'm not really-

[Numbuhs 2, 3, 4, and 5 push Numbuh 1 towards the path leading to the pizza supply ship.]

Numbuh 74.239:
[in a voice changer] Nigel Uno is finally ready.

Numbuh Infinity:
Agreed. It is time to take him away. [gets witty] But enough with the voice-changer things already!

Numbuh 74.239:
Aw, but it makes me sound so cool! [in a voice-changer; mimics Darth Vader] Nigel Uno, I am your father.

Numbuh Infinity:
[takes away voice-changer] Give me that!

[An adult version of Numbuh 5 walks in.]

Interviewer:
Please sit down.

Adult Abigail Lincoln:
Right here?

Interviewer:
Yeah, that's great. Just great. So, do you know why we brought you here?

Adult Abigail Lincoln:
Well, it's something about when I was a child, right?

Interviewer:
Exactly. When you were younger, you were a part of a secret organization to fight for kids' rights. But after you turned 13, you and your teammates had all memories at that time erased in the process called 'decommissioning'.

Adult Abigail Lincoln:
Oh, I remember now. Yeah.

Interviewer:
That's because we've found a way to temporarily reverse the process, so we can ask you some questions.

Adult Abigail Lincoln:
Questions, about what?

Interviewer:
About your last mission and what happened to Numbuh 1.

Adult Abigail Lincoln:
Who?

Interviewer:
Nigel Uno, your sector leader. You never saw him again after that mission.

Adult Abigail Lincoln:
Well, I'm not sure I remember all that.

Interviewer:
Then, start at the beginning. Tell me what you do remember.

Adult Abigail Lincoln:
Well, it was... it was the Delightful Children's birthday. And as always, they was gonna have the most delicious birthday cake in the whole world and they wouldn't share with anybody. Nobody knew when they was going to eat it. But Numbuh 1 thought that if he could get a trace on them, that'll lead us right to the cake. [The flashback begins]

Interviewer:
A car carrier for cruise ships? Well, where were you when this was going on, Numbuh 3?

Adult Kuki Sanban:
My name is Kuki. And I was following the carrier in one of those death-trap vehicles we used to ride around here, and my dimwitted husband who was...

Adult Hoagie Gilligan:
I was-! Was I- wait. W-Where was I?

Interviewer:
Did you catch them, Numbuh 4?

Adult Wallaby Beatles:
Well, they were going pretty fast, not as fast as my care nowadays mind you, but they had the petal to the metal.

Interviewer:
So they got away?

Adult Hoagie Gilligan:
You'd have to be Plane-Crazy to think so! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Get it? Plane-Crazy? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! They escaped on a plane! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Numbuh 362:
Numbuh 1, you let the Delightful Children get away!

Numbuh 1:
Don't worry, sir! We'll catch them. Come on, team!

Numbuh 362:
No, just forget it.

Numbuh 5:
But what about the cake?

Numbuh 362:
Look. I think it's time to take you guys off the case.

Numbuh 1:
What?! My sector is always in charge of liberating the cake from those Delightful dorks!

Numbuh 363:
And it's your sector that always loses it! I mean, have you clowns ever gotten the cake back in one piece?

Numbuh 2:
Well, yeah! Once.

Numbuh 4:
And just who the crud are you, beaver-teeth?!

Numbuh 362:
He's my brother.

Numbuh 4:
[Realizes] R-Right- your brother- I-I can see the family resemblance.

Numbuh 362:
You and your team are off this mission, Numbuh 1. Is that clear?

Numbuh 1:
B-But-!

Numbuh 362:
Is that clear?!

Numbuh 363:
[Tauntingly] Yeah, Numbuh 1, is that clear?

Numbuh 1:
[Forcefully] Yes.

Numbuh 362:
Good. Sector W, it's your show now. So go get us that cake!

Sector W:
Yes, sir!

Adult Abigail Lincoln:
Numbuh 1 took getting kicked off the mission pretty hard. We tried to cheer him up, but he wouldn't have any.

Interviewer:
So what did you do next?

Adult Abigail Lincoln:
Only thing we could do, go back to the treehouse and you're never going to believe what we found there.

Numbuh 3:
Wow, Numbuh 1! Numbuh 363 was totally right! We never have got the cake back in one piece!

Numbuh 2:
We did once!

Numbuh 3:
Really? I don't remember! Hmm, let's see. There was the time we blew it up by accident, and oh, we sent it to the wood chipper that other time- Oh, oh! And remember when the birdies peed on it? [Laughs] Remember that one, Numbuh 1?

Numbuh 1:
[Angrily] YES! THANK YOU FOR THE MEMORIES! Now if you don't mind, I'd like to think about something other than...Cake?

[Upon finding the Delightful Children in their tree-house]

Numbuh 1:
Kids Next Door, battle sta- [Gets trapped by Father's flame]

Father:
No, no, no, cut! You Kids Next Door are not in my script! [groans in frustration] But, on the other hand, you might just be what this picture needs!

Numbuh 1:
[To Father] Father! What are you doing in our tree house?!

Father:
Just indulging my more artistic side by producing- the mega-blockbuster movie of the century!

Delightful Children:
And we're the stars! It's called, "Let us eat cake", and once it's complete, jealous kids worldwide will get to see us enjoying our delicious birthday cake on the big screen! And what better backdrop for us to savor it in than your stupid tree house?!?!?!

Numbuh 4:
[[As the Delightful Children laugh evilly] Oh, man! It ain't gonna be one of those chick flicks, is it?!

Father:
[Gets in Numbuh 4's face, enraged] ENOUGH! [To DCFDTL] We must film before the muse escapes me! Alright, my stars, in this scene, you will unveil the cake! I want to feel the passion between you and its scrum-dilly-yumminess: The electricity, the LOVE! [To his working crew] Quiet on the set! Places! AND....Action!

Delightful Children:
[Acting in a love scene] At last, we are alone, my love. I have yearned too long to taste your frosty icing. [The scene cuts to Sector V struggling in the fiery hands] Come to me, my tasty- [the DCFDTL pulls off the sheet, revealing Numbuh 74.239 with a beach umbrella and a table with a fruit drink, making them all scream in shock]

Numbuh 74.239:
[Smirking] Hello.

Numbuh 1:
[In surprise] NUMBUH 74.239?! What are YOU doing here?!

Father:
[Enraged] Cut, CUT, CUUUT! [Bursts into flames] YOU ARE RUINING MY SCENE!

Delightful Children:
[Points to Numbuh 74.239, angrily] AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY CAKE?!?!?!

Numbuh 74.239:
Oh, we took it, but I assure you, it is quite safe. [slurps his fruit drink] Mmmmm!

Father:
[enraged] HOW DARE YOU?! GIVE IT BACK THIS INSTANT!

Adult Hoagie Gilligan:
After that, 74.239 ordered Father to release us or he'd destroy the cake.

Adult Wallaby Beatles:
He told us to meet him the very next morning in the old, abandoned amusement park! [thinks] I forgot what it was called...

Adult Kuki Sanban:
The Rainbow Monkey Let's Learn About the Lavatory Fun Park. Can you believe they tried to make a theme park based on potty-training? The minute I took over the Rainbow Monkey Corporation, I tore the place down. Just to stop the smell.

Adult Abigail Lincoln:
74.239 told us he would explain his little test once we got there, for the place was deserted.

Numbuh 363:
What part of my sister's "you're off the cake mission" didn't you losers understand?

Numbuh 4:
And what part of you is your sister gonna recognize after I get done rearranging your... [Sector W aimed at him]

Numbuh 84:
Not cool.

Numbuh 5:
'Not cool' is right! You better get your yo-yo out of my teammate's face!

The Toiletnator:
Hi guys! [KND aimed at him] Hey, don't point those things at me!

Mr. Boss:
Oh, jeeze, it's The Toiletnator.

Announcer Nick:
And the person or team with the highest point total by 8 o'clock will win the Delightful Children's mouth-watering tasty-licious birthday cake.

Numbuh 1:
Look at this list! We'll never get enough of these things to win! Might as well just quit now.

Numbuh 5:
Hello? Has anybody seen Numbuh 1 around here? 'Cause this guy definitely isn't here.

Numbuh 3:
Sure he is! Look, he's got the bald head, and the glasses...

Numbuh 5:
...and he's talking about giving up! That's not the Nigel Uno Numbuh 5 knows!

Numbuh 3:
Then who is it? Cause he looks like Numbuh 1 to me!

Numbuh 4:
So that runt finished a couple of dumb missions. We've completed tons! We're practically veterinarians.

Numbuh 2:
Veterans.

Numbuh 4:
Yeah, that too.

Numbuh 5:
Look. You know we can win the cake and have fun doing it! But even if we fail, there's going to be other missions! And as long as we're all together, that's all that matters. So who's with me? Five!

Numbuh 4:
Four!

Numbuh 3:
Three!

Numbuh 2:
Two!

Numbuh 1:
One! Thanks guys.

Numbuh 1:
...And Numbuh 2...

Numbuh 2:
Yes sir!

Numbuh 1:
Stir the ship, we're about to hit the mountain.

Cheese Shogun:
You DARE to challenge ME!

Numbuh 86:
Bring it on, Limburger Lips!

Cheese Shogun:
ARGH! [both throw a little ball and tried to shoot it in one of the fishbowls, but failed]

Both:
Aw!

Announcer Nick:
Boys and girls, we have an exclusive interview here, Numbuh 1, your team is in dead last. You've been spanked by Spankulot, yelled at by Numbuh 362, and embarrassed by her little brother.

Numbuh 1:
[irritated] Is there a question in there?

Announcer Nick:
Indeed there is. The world is dying to know: Will you go to Numbuh 363's funeral?

Numbuh 1:
Huh? What'd you mean?

Announcer Chip:
Haven't you heard? Numbuh 363 is going after the item worth the most points ever!

Announcer Chip and Nick:
[dramatically] Father's pipe!

Numbuh 1:
What are you doing here? Father is way out of your lead!

Numbuh 363:
Don't touch me! Don't ever touch me! And if you think I'm letting you get to Father's pipe before I do, you're crazy!

Numbuh 5:
We're not here for the pipe, kid!

Numbuh 4:
Yeah, we're here to rescue your big, dumb squirrel teeth!

Numbuh 363:
I don't need rescuing! Especially from a couple of hasbeens like you old farts!

Numbuh 4:
Come here, you! [tries to attack Numbuh 363, but his team holds him back]

Numbuh 83:
Look, why don't we all just get out of here before Father hears us?

Numbuh 363:
Whose side are you on, Sonya?!

Numbuh 83:
Everyone's! We're all supposed to be on the same team!

Numbuh 363:
Fine! Go, then! I'll do this alone.

Numbuh 1:
[Grabs Numbuh 363's shoulder] You've got a lot to learn about teamwork, 363.

Numbuh 363:
[fired up] Don't... TOUCH ME!!!!!!!!!

Father:
[wakes up, in shock] Huh? What? WHAT?! Hey, who's there?!

Adult Abigail Lincoln:
Months later, when I became Supreme Commander of the KND, I had to order Numbuh 363's decommissioning! Not because he got too old, but because of his "freaking out!" whenever someone touched him!

Adult Wallaby Beatles:
In light-man's parliaments, he went 200% bananas. Reminds me of a fellow student botching a liver biopsy in my second year at med school at Harvard.

Interviewer:
So, what happened next?

Adult Hoagie Gilligan:
[wakes up after snoring] Well, suffice it to say, Father was not happy finding us in his house. [returns to the past]

Father:
[furiously] I AM NOT HAPPY FINDING YOU IN MY HOUSE!

Numbuh 83:
Numbuh 363, are you all right?

Numbuh 363:
[In pain, happily takes out the pipe] I won! [Holds up the pipe] I got the pipe!

Numbuh 83:
[Shocked, she grabs Numbuh 363 by his shirt] Is that all you can think about?! Sector V just saved your life, and all you say is, "I won"?! [Takes the pipe from Numbuh 363] Give me that! [Drops Numbuh 363 on the floor]

[Numbuh 83 gives Numbuh 1 the pipe. Numbuh 1 takes it.]

Numbuh 83:
Here, Numbuh 1. You deserve this more than us.

Numbuh 363:
[Defeated] Nooo...!

Numbuh 84:
[Shoves his yo-yo into Numbuh 363's mouth] Cork it, Harvey!

[Numbuh 83 places the keys in Numbuh 1's hand.]

Numbuh 83:
Take our ship. It's got all our scavenger hunt stuff in it. If you hurry, you can catch up to those Delightful dorks and win this thing, for all the Kids Next Door.

Numbuh 1:
Thanks, Sonia.

Numbuh 4:
Looks like Father's coming back!

Numbuh 5:
That's right, so get going, Numbuh 1! We'll hold him off!

Numbuh 1:
No way! My place is with you, guys.

Numbuh 2:
We'll take care of it, just go. And make sure you save us some cake when you win.

Numbuh 1:
But what about-

Numbuh 3:
[Angrily pushes Numbuh 1] Just go already! Hmph! Does that guy want a personalized invitation or something?!

Interviewer:
So, Numbuh 1 went back to the amusement park, right?

Adult Abigail Lincoln:
Yep, for a one last battle with the Delightful Children. [laughs] Wait till you hear about it.

[The Delightful Children point the S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R. at Numbuh 1.]

Delightful Children:
It's over, Nigel Uno! You're finished! It's the end. Say it.

Numbuh 1:
[Refusing] No.

Delightful Children:
[Angrily] SAY IT! IT'S THE END! SAY IT!!!

Numbuh 1:
[Sadly] I- I can't.

Delightful Children:
WHY NOT?!

[A passing sign that says "Welcome to New Jersey" appears.]

Numbuh 1:
Because... [Bravely smiles] the Kids Next Door will NEVER end!

[As Numbuh 1 jumps up, the sign knocks Father's pipe out of the Delightful Children's hand. Numbuh 1 catches the pipe while grabbing the bottom of the sign, leaving the Delightful Children behind.]

Delightful Children:
[In defeat] NOOOOOOOO!!!!! [They groan, then turn and notice that there is a gap in the ride] Huh?!

[The Delightful Children fall into a deep hole below as Numbuh 1 looks on.]

Numbuh 1:
I always wondered how those guys went to the bathroom together.

[Numbuh 1 emerges from the debris holding the pipe.]

Announcer Nick:
We have a winner: Numbuh 1 of Sector V!

[Numbuh 1 slowly stands up when he sees Numbuh 74.239 standing next to him.]

Numbuh 74.239:
[Picking his nose] Congratulations, Numbuh 1. [Takes his finger out of his nose] We knew you would be victorious. [Holds out his hand]

Numbuh 1:
Um, thanks? I think.

[Numbuh 1 takes Numbuh 74.239's hand. The booger on Numbuh 74.239's finger starts consuming both him and Numbuh 1.]

Numbuh 1:
What the-? Hey! Let go! [Muffled screaming]

[Upon seeing the GKND spaceship.]

Numbuh 1:
The cake. It's beautiful.

Numbuh 74.239:
Oh, that's not the cake. [Takes out a small cupcake] This is. [Eats the cupcake] It's a bit small, but it might just be the best one yet.

Numbuh 1:
But if that's the cake, then what's that? [Points up to the GKND spaceship]

Numbuh 74.239:
A spaceship, of course. Now come on, we don't have much time.

Numbuh 1:
Numbuh 74.239, will you please tell me what exactly is going on around here?!

Numbuh 74.239:
Don't you get it yet? You've been chosen to join the Galactic Kids Next Door! Only one kid from every planet is picked, and you're it! You'll leave immediately.

Numbuh 1:
Leave? But- [The scientists arrive and start dressing him in a spacesuit] Wait! Where am I going?

Numbuh 74.239:
Out there. You don't think Earth is the only place where adult tyranny needs to be fought, do you? Why, on some planets, children have 37 parents instead of just 2.

Numbuh 74.239:
We need kids like you to help us learn about planets that have been infected!

Numbuh 1:
Infected? By what?

Numbuh 74.239:
By adulthood. The horrible truth Nigel, is that adulthood is a disease! Sweeping the universe in an alarming rate! Without galactic-level operatives, more and more planets where kids rule will fall. By joining us, you won't be saving a neighborhood, or even a planet from adult tyranny. You will be saving the universe.

Numbuh 1:
I- I understand. Just tell me when I'll be back.

Numbuh 74.239:
Back? Oh, you can't ever come back.

Numbuh 1:
What? But what about my family? What about my friends?

Numbuh 74.239:
Your friends can't ever know. I know it's hard, but earth people just aren't ready to know about the galactic fight against adulthood. If you honor what your friends are fighting for, you'll make that sacrifice. But, as for your family.

[Numbuh 74.239 extends his hand towards Monty Uno and Mrs. Uno, who are present.]

Numbuh 1:
Dad? Mom?! What are you doing here?

Mrs. Uno:
We came to see you off, dear.

Numbuh 1:
Mom, you know about all this? About the Kids Next Door?

Mrs. Uno:
Well of course! They were nice enough to recommission Numbuh 0 and me to say goodbye.

Numbuh 1:
[Points at his mother in surprise] You were a Kids Next Door operative, too?!?

Monty Uno:
Only the first girl operative on the seventh day of the Kids Next Door, Numbuh 999 herself. And now you're going to be the first earth operative in the Galactic Kids Next Door. Do you have any idea how proud we are of you?

Numbuh 1:
But they say I can't come back, that I'll never see you or my friends again.

Mrs. Uno:
[Tears in her eyes] You'll make all sorts of new and interesting friends out there, dear. [Crouches down in front of Numbuh 1] And as for us, well, you know we'll always be with you. [Hugs Numbuh 1] Now run along and promise to stay away from all those black holes and exploding supernovas, alright?

Numbuh 1:
I promise, mom.

Monty Uno:
[Salutes Numbuh 1] Good luck, Numbuh 1. Show those galactic chaps how we Earth folks take care of business, eh?

Numbuh 1:
[Salutes Monty] Yes, sir, Numbuh Ze- I mean, Dad.

[Numbuh 1 and Monty hug.]

Monty Uno:
Alright, off with you now, before the Numbuh 0 gets all weepy and such.

Numbuh 1:
[Waves to his parents] Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad. I love you.

Numbuh 1:
H-How did you know I was leaving?

Numbuh 2:
Well, science nerds kinda stink in keeping secrets from each other. [Gives Numbuh 1 the bag] So I put together some stuff for your trip. [Numbuh 1 takes the bag from him and puts it on] All the essentials. Yipper comics, a couple of boxes of chewy pellets, some new 2x4 tech stuff I've been working on. [Voice breaking] It's probably useless compared to what these galactic guys have, but you never know.

Numbuh 1:
I'm sure your inventions will be way better, Hoagie.

Numbuh 2:
I wish we were going with you. Everything's going to be new and exciting for you, and everything here is going to be the same, except you won't be with us.

Numbuh 1:
I'll be with you, even if I'm a million, trillion miles away. [Extends his hand to Numbuh 2] Goodbye, old friend.

Numbuh 2:
[Shakes Numbuh 1's hand] Good luck, Nigel. [Walks away]

Numbuh 3:
[Cheerfully] So, what are we gonna do tomorrow, Numbuh 1?

Numbuh 1:
Uh, I'm not going to be here, Numbuh 3.

Numbuh 3:
Oh. Then what about the day after that?

Numbuh 1:
Uh, let me explain, Kuki-

Numbuh 3:
[Still cheerfully] Oh, I know you're leaving, silly! What do you think I am? An airhead or something?

Numbuh 1:
[Smiles, then says gently] Never for a second.

Numbuh 3:
[Tears in her eyes] We're gonna miss you a lot, Numbuh 1.

Numbuh 1:
[Tears in his eyes] I'm going to miss you too, Kuki.

[Numbuh 3 kisses Numbuh 1 on the head and walks away.]

Numbuh 4:
So, this is it then, huh? You're leaving us.

Numbuh 1:
Wally, it's not like that.

Numbuh 4:
Yeah, I know, I know. You gotta go save space kids up in Canada and stuff, but what about us here on Earth?! We need you too, you know!

Numbuh 1:
I guess the Kids Next Door think they need me more out there.

Numbuh 4:
[Tears in his eyes, angrily] Yeah, well, if you need any help you'll call, right? 'Cause you know we'll come running, right?!

Numbuh 1:
[Tears in his eyes] Of course I know. You take care, okay?

Numbuh 4:
Yeah. See you. [Walks away]

Numbuh 5:
Look at you. Best operative on the planet. And to think I had to convince you not to quit this morning.

Numbuh 1:
If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be in the Kids Next Door in the first place.

Numbuh 5:
Oh, please. They would've found you eventually. I mean, this guys did. Look, are you sure you wanna do this? You don't have to go.

Numbuh 1:
You know I can't pass this up, Abby. You're only a kid once, right? [Takes off his sunglasses] So this means you're in charge of Sector V again. [Hands Numbuh 5 his sunglasses]

Numbuh 5:
[Tries to refuse the sunglasses] Oh, no, no, no. Nu-uh-uh-uh!

Numbuh 1:
I'm not giving you a choice this time. Who else is gonna take care of the guys?

Numbuh 5:
But-

Numbuh 1:
Abby, we both know you're the only one on this team with a real common sense. While I'm screaming that we're being invaded by tiny kid-eating leeches falling from the sky, you're the one telling me it's only snowing. You're a way better leader than I ever was. [Places his sunglasses in Numbuh 5's hands] So lead Sector V.

Numbuh 5:
[Teary-eyed] But it won't be the Sector V without you.

Numbuh 1:
It was before, and it will be after.

Numbuh 1:
Alright, guys, listen up. Even if we'll never see each other again, just promise me one thing, that you'll never grow up. Even if you are 100 years old and don't remember a thing about our times together, you'll still be a kid at heart, okay? So who's with me?

Numbuh 5:
[Puts out her hand] 5!

Numbuh 4:
[Puts his hand on top of Numbuh 5's hand] 4!

Numbuh 3:
[Puts her hand on top] 3!

Numbuh 2:
[Puts his hand on top] 2!

Numbuh 1:
[Puts his hand on top and smiles] 1! KIDS NEXT DOOR! [Group hugs] Goodbye.

[Father stomps with rage into the Splinter Cell.]

Father:
NIGEL UNO, I AM DONE PLAYING GAMES WITH YOU, BOY! GIVE MY BACK MY PIPE THIS--! [Enters the Splinter Cell, only to find everything and everyone gone] No! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [The scene pans up to where the spaceship flies into space and out of sightr]

Adult Kuki Sanban:
[Voice breaking] And that was the last time we saw Numbuh 1. We all missed him so much... but I think Wally took the hardest.

Adult Wallaby Beatles:
Yeah, I sure did... [To Hoagie, angrily] And would you mind hugging your own wife instead of mine?!

Adult Hoagie Gilligan:
[Backs away from Kuki, startled] Hey! You're not Abby.

Adult Abigail Lincoln:
[voice breaking] And that's all I remember. Everything is getting kind of fuzzy again, but I hope I have answered all your questions.

Interviewer:
Oh, you've helped me all right. [Reveals himself to be a future version of Father]

Future Father:
Now I know where NUMBUH 1 IS! [Bursts into flames]

Adult Abigail:
[Answers the phone as she enters the P.I.P.E.R., final lines] Hello? Yeah. We told him everything he wanted to hear. We'll meet you up on the moon base, okay? Oh, and Numbuh 1... welcome back.