Disenchantment, Part 2

The Enchantress:
If you need anything, just ring.

[Bean tests out the bell]

Bean:
There's no clapper.

The Enchantress:
That's okay. These rooms are soundproof anyway.

Bean:
Well, I've never murdered anyone. It's always been an accident, self-defense or justifiable homicide. Oh, God! I've killed a lot of people! What if I'm insane?

Bean:
I should know this, but does Elfo have a last name?

Luci:
On checks he just writes "Elfo" and then puts a little heart at the end.

Bean:
[seeing Elfo hurtling past in a tube] Did you see that? He made it! We're all here together! This is so- [Elfo continues to scream] Oh, wait, hang on. He's still screaming.

Luci:
I think he's done now. [Elfo screams again] Nope. Wait... Okay, yes.

[They cheer. Elfo starts screaming again. Bean and Luci share an embarrassed silence]

Elfo:
Hi, Leavo. I'm a big fan of your work.

Leavo:
Leaving?

Elfo:
Yes. [Leavo turns to leave] The master...

Leavo:
I'll give you a choice: Either you help me or I bash your face in.

Elfo:
How many times have I been presented with this exact same dilemma? This time, I'm gonna choose help [Leavo throws the rock on Elfo's face] Ow!

Leavo:
Sorry. I thought you were gonna say the other thing.

King Zøg:
I'd like to tell you something about understandin' women.

Bean:
Yes?

King Zøg:
I said I'd like to, doesn't mean I can.

King Zøg:
The saddest thing in life is havin' to say goodbye to the person you want to spend that life with.

[an ogre guard carries Elfo into the prison where Bean is locked in a cell]

Elfo:
Don't worry, Bean! I'll save you!

Bean:
Look, I'm not some damsel in distress! Well, technically I guess I am, but still.

Pops the Elf:
I heard every word you said. And you know what, Elfo? I'm glad I stole your college fund.

Elfo:
What?

Bean:
He thinks he's got it so tough 'cause his mom works? Cry to me when your mom tries to bolt a crown to your skull.

Bean:
Oh God, it's over, he's turning blue!

Elfo:
He was already blue. I think he's actually turning less blue.

Bean:
Is that good or bad?

Elfo:
How should I know? I'm green, not blue. God! Do all people of colour look the same to you?

Bean:
You never appreciate your lizard stepmom until she becomes a sexy pirate.

Bean:
Oh, good. You're still up.

King Zøg:
I'm always up. I haven't been able to sleep for weeks. They say turkey helps, but I took two and nothin'

Bean:
They're gonna burn us at the stake.

Elfo:
Oh, God, I'm gonna smell like burnt candy corn.