Doug, Season 3

Roger:
Hey, uh, Funnie.

Doug:
Yeah?

Roger:
I'm-I'm counting on you.

Doug:
Stinky is a girl? Roger, why didn't you tell me?

Roger:
Well, how was I supposed to know?

Mrs. Klotz:
Son, we're way past due for a very important talk.

Doug:
[hands Patti a doorknob] It's for you. It's just something I thought would help you remember-

Patti:
The Pattersons?

Doug:
The Pattersons, what?

Patti:
It's the Pattersons' door knocker. They were our next door neighbors.

Doug:
Boy, I can't even get the right door knocker.

Patti:
No Doug. I'd like to keep it, if that's okay with you.

Doug:
To remind you of how dumb I am?

Patti:
No... to remind me of how sweet you are.

Doug:
Huh?

[She hugs him]

Mr. Bone:
Why if everybody thought of what they say, well, everything will be all higgledy piggledy. Isn't that right, Funnie?

Doug:
Yes, sir. All higgledy piggledy.

Mr. Bone:
Oh, why didn't you say so? Hello? Why, Mr. Buttsavage, how was your vaca- You thought it would be what? [to Doug] He saw the cartoon. You really are in trouble, mister. [to Mr. Buttsavage] Why, of course I get the joke. Ha ha, I thought it would be pretty funny too. Yes, I will, Mr. Buttsavage! Goodbye. [to Doug again] Well, young man. I just saved your fanny. Yessir, you can spend a long time in detention if I hadn't done some fast talking. In fact, I convinced Mr. Buttsavage to like your cartoon. So, just be grateful.

Doug:
That's it? That's the monster? Look, you can see the zipper in the back. [laughs]

Patti:
Boy, you guys should've told me earlier.

Doug:
I know. I was embarrassed, I guess.

Patti:
I could've given you another one to play with.

Doug:
[shocked] Another one?

Patti:
Sure. My dad gets these free from work. Here, take a whole box of them.