Dragon Ball Z, Season 6

Krillin:
So, what's the deal? Who's gonna be in this? I mean, nobody can beat Cell so it won't be much of a tournament.

Trunks:
Yes, you're right. I thought I could beat him. I was certain I could do it. But I failed. Maybe he is unstoppable.

Chiaotzu:
Can anyone he wants enter the competition?

Trunks:
He'll take on anyone who challenges him. And he expects to have a battle with each of us...one by one.

Master Roshi:
Of course. You know what he's trying to do. I do. His plan is to eliminate the competition once and for all.

Yamcha:
Well, I kind o' like the idea of another martial arts tournament. I mean, hey. I think I'll dominate.

Puar:
Yeah! Let's get 'im!

Yamcha:
Yeah!

Oolong:
Just make sure you don't get another hand through your stomach.

Miss Brief:
Now wasn't there a martial arts tournament a long time ago?

Master Roshi:
That's correct. Ah yes. I believe I'll explain since I once won the tournament myself.

Puar:
What? Master Roshi? I never knew you won it.

Oolong:
Oh, you just had to get him started.

Chiaotzu:
But why would Cell host a tournament?

Yamcha:
Yeah, why? I mean if he wants to rule the world, why is he wasting time with this competition?

Trunks:
Cell doesn't want to rule the world. He wants to destroy it.

Yamcha:
Uh...?

Chiaotzu:
Huh?

Trunks:
The androids have never been interested in power. It's just that they find pleasure in causing fear and chaos. And Cell's no different. He's using this stupid tournament as a way to spread fear.

Chi-Chi:
So there. Gohan will have to start his studies right when he gets back and he will not be joining up with your little gang!

Krillin:
Our gang?

Chiaotzu:
What gang?

Master Roshi:
Hey, can I join? Heh heh.

Krillin:
Hey, I'm kind o' lookin' forward to this tournament. It could be fun. Heh heh heh.

Vegeta:
Go out and play if you want. But leave Cell to me. Because I don't want anyone getting in my way. Do you understand?

Yamcha:
That's a lot o' talk for someone who got pounded by Cell, don't you think?

Oolong:
(Baby Trunks starts pulling Future Trunks' hair) Gee, look at that. Trunks is pulling on Trunks' hair.

Puar:
(while training with Krillin, Yamcha kicks Krillin's head and falls backward) Be careful Yamcha. Krillin's head is pretty slippery.

Yamcha:
Wow Krillin. I think your head is your secret weapon.

Krillin:
Yeah, maybe. But you bruised my brain.

Yamcha:
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Come on, don't be a wimp. Your head is as hard as a rock.

Krillin:
Hey pal! Are you makin' fun of me!?

Yamcha:
I sure am! (Yamcha kangaroo kicks Krillin in the face)

Cell:
(in a broadcast to the people of Earth) Your boring lives are about to get a lot more interesting thanks to me. I have enjoyed terrorizing Earth but now I have something far more entertaining planned for this pathetic planet.

Vegeta:
Hear me out. I don't care about the people of Earth but I promise I will destroy Cell.

Oolong:
I got it. We borrow Bulma's ship, orbit the Earth, and then sit back and watch the fireworks.

Puar:
Oolong!

Oolong:
Yeah, I bet ol' Cell would never think to look for us up in outer space.

Puar:
Only a heartless soul would run and leave his friends behind. We're in this together.

Goku:
So that's it. A tournament, huh? I gotta say, it sounds interesting.

Piccolo:
What? Interesting?

Gohan:
Piccolo, can I have a new outfit just like yours? You were my first teacher.

Piccolo:
Yeah kid. It'll make you look really sharp.

Cell:
Right here is where the fate of the universe will be determined. So what do you think?

Goku:
I don't know. Seems kind of puny if it's supposed to decide all that, wouldn't you say?

Cell:
Heh heh heh heh heh heh.

Goku:
You're not the first person to try to rule the universe with a sword of injustice. They all failed. And so will you.

Goku:
I've spent months preparing for the day I'd face you in your final form. I've come a long way Cell.

Cell:
(pause) So have I.

Goku:
Hey, Yajirobe. How you doin'?

Yajirobe:
Oh, I know why you're here. And if you think I'm gonna help you fight in that stupid tournament, then you could just forget it.

Goku:
Aha ha ha. Thanks Yajirobe. But I wasn't going to ask you.

Yajirobe:
Like...I believe that. Next you'll be telling me that you just stopped by to say hello. Well, you know I'm the best kept secret weapon around.

Goku:
(after powering up) Well, that was about half of my power. What do ya think?

Korin:
That was only half!? What's wrong with people like you? Will you not be happy until you wreck the whole planet?

Goku:
So, how do I stack up against Cell?

Korin:
That's hard for me to answer. Hmmm...well...I don't know how precise I can be but...uh...to be blunt...I'd have to say Cell is stronger.

Gohan:
Uh!?

Yajirobe:
Then what are we waiting around for? Shouldn't we be like...planning our escape!?

Chi-Chi:
(Chi-Chi sees Gohan and Goku as Super Saiyans) But what happened? Where is my sweet little Gohan?

Gohan:
I'm right here, mom.

Goku:
Aha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Babe, you crack me up.

Master Roshi:
Calm down. Calm down.

Chi-Chi:
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! (to Gohan) What happened to your beautiful black hair? Who gave you permission to dye it? (pulling on Gohan's hair)

Goku:
It's not dyed. It's just...

Chi-Chi:
(crying) My sweet little Gohan's become a punker!

Goku:
No, it's not like that.

Cell:
(while flying upward, about breathing in outer space) It's rare that I get to make use of Frieza and his father's wonderful genes.

Lau:
If you've seen...seen the Cell, then you know that there is no use in running away or building a shelter. I'm not sure why they're deluding themselves. Believing in the shelter brings them comfort, I guess.

Lime:
They're a bunch of fools, that's all.

Lime:
You'd never fight. You're too sweet, right.

Gohan:
Huh?

Lime:
You're too gentle, to fight, I mean.

Gohan:
You think so?

Lime:
Uh huh. I know so, for sure, I can see that. I like strong men, like my grandpa. He's a real fighter.

Borbonne:
Go home to your mommy, kid!

Gohan:
And where's your mom? Was she one of the ones that you locked outside?

Borbonne:
That's enough out of you, you delinquent! Hey, boys. All eyes here. Shut this kid up!

Borbonne:
(after Tao knocks Lime's grandfather, Lau, to the ground) Now finish him off General Tao! That'll teach him ta cross me!

General Tao:
Sure, that's what I'm paid for! I'm your friendly neighborhood killer! No hard feelings old man, it's just a job.

General Tao:
(after Gohan blocks Tao's Dodon ray) Say what!?

Borbonne:
What happened?

Gohan:
I happened. That's what!

Krillin:
So Vegeta was furious, and he was about to kill him for cutting off his tail. And Yajirobe goes, "Please, sir. I really admire you, and i'd like to join you if it's not too late." [Goku and Gohan laugh from this but stops when Gohan's glass cup breaks when he was going to drink it]

Goku:
Man, again? You gotta control it like this. Watch me. [Goku picks up his glass cup but it also breaks]

Chi-Chi:
I don't believe it, not another one! Goku, this has got to stop! [pots and pans fall from the shelves]

Goku:
Sorry.

Gohan:
My chair!

Goku:
Gohan, here.

Goku:
Oh, man. We really did it this time.

Krillin:
Chi-Chi's gonna kill you guys! Hey, where'd she go?

Chi-Chi:
[Chi-Chi angrily burst out of the debri that she was buried in] HYAAAGH!! HERE I AM!! Alright you two, i've had it with this Super Saiyan stuff! You've broken both sets of dishes, and three tables! I swear, is it too much to ask to have a normal dinner where we don't smash glasses, and bend silverware, and break all the furniture?! Well, is it?! I'm waiting!

Goku:
No, sorry.

Gohan:
I have an idea. Maybe we should use paper plates and cups.

Chi-Chi:
Yeah? Well think again, kid! Gosh, what a funny sense of humor. Paper cups, and paper plates, you must get that from your mommy. I'll tell you what, Gohan. Since it's your birthday, i'm going to let you off easy. For your punishment, you can help me clean up. As for you Goku, hit the road! Don't call us, we'll call you. [Chi-Chi opens the door]

Goku:
Uh, you want me to leave home?

Chi-Chi:
Yes! I can't take it anymore, Goku. I need you gone. At least until I finish setting up for Gohan's party. You like to fish, right? Well go catch a fish, or something.

Goku:
Hey, sure. That sounds great, i'll catch a big one.

Krillin:
I'll go too.

Gohan:
Me too.

Chi-Chi:
Wonderful plan. But you can forget it, Gohan. Look, if you think you're getting off the hook that easy, you can think again, kiddo. After you finish cleaning up, it's time to study.

Gohan:
Anything but that, mom.

Chi-Chi:
A mother knows what's best, right?

Gohan:
Yeah, I guess.

Goku:
Hey, Gohan. Your mother is a hundred percent right. It would be best if you study this afternoon. [Gohan and Krillin were both shocked while Chi-Chi fainted from hearing this and the whole house jumped in the air]

Goku:
Huh? What did I do?

Krillin:
You don't know?

Gohan:
Gosh, daddy.

Chi-Chi:
Are you sick? [shoves a thermometer in Goku's mouth and put her hand on his forehead] You feel okay.

Ox King:
Don't you think it's time that you give the boy a name?

Goku:
Hm?

Chi-Chi:
I thought of one. It came to me last night.

Ox King:
Oh...I didn't know you picked already.

Chi-Chi:
Yes...Einstein!

Goku:
Hm? Einstein? You're kidding.

Ox King:
(same time as Goku) Hm? Einstein? You're kidding.

Chi-Chi:
Hardly. Our boy's name is going to be Einstein.

Chi-Chi:
Well, what do you think we should call him, dad?

Ox King:
Oh, I don't know. Uh...I did scribble a few names down. Ah, there. Here we are. (Ox King holds a scroll with lots of names) Let's see here. Ox King Junior. Ox Monkey. Big Ox. Oxford. Oh, you'll like these. Ox in the box. Ox Man. Johnny Oxseen.

Reporter:
(fearfully approaching Cell) Oh gosh. I just can't do this. Can we go home? I've lost my nerve.

Reporter 2:
Find it.

Reporter:
Ah gee.

Chi-Chi:
A normal kid would be severely punished for trashing his entire birthday cake on his birthday. But you can't help it. After all, you're Goku's son. It's family tradition, pure and simple.

Vegeta:
(Piccolo is in the hyperbolic time chamber) What is taking that Namek so long? Really! Doesn't he know he's wasting important people's time.

Mister Popo:
Well, he's almost done. Just...stay calm.

Vegeta:
Calm!? (Vegeta kicks the hyperbolic time chamber door) Oh, I will show you calm. If he stays there any longer, I'll knock that door down and calmly drag him out!

Goku:
(to Gohan) Now, son...let's try to enjoy ourselves and not worry about Cell. There'll be plenty of time for that.

Cell:
(about the entire military division preparing to launch a full-scale attack against him) Pathetic. All these men still playing with toys.

Goku:
Oh wow, Piccolo. You've been doing some training in the hyperbolic time chamber, haven't you?

Piccolo:
That's right.

Goku:
I can really tell. You're strong. A lot more powerful than before.

Piccolo:
Why don't you just say it? I'm stronger but you still don't think I can beat Cell.

Goku:
Nope. Don't stand a chance.

Piccolo:
Thanks. You've always been the honest one.

King Kai:
So, what brings you up here? Need some good jokes?

Goku:
No, no jokes. Not right now. Don't you know about all the horrible things that are happening on Earth?

King Kai:
(to Goku) An android...well, that's a new one. And you say he's even stronger than Frieza? Must be hard for you to get good life insurance. Trouble follows you like a lost puppy.

King Kai:
(when Goku is going to try the instant transmission) I see...instant transmission. The Yardrat's trick. Ooo...I bet they taught you that while you were staying with them...didn't they? Didn't they? Didn't they? (while King Kai does the instant transmission quickly) You know, I always thought it had some handy uses. I could've taught you. But...you never asked me. Never asked. Ha.

Hercule Satan:
This was all just a cheap trick. Cell planted bombs just before the military came. He might be an expert with explosives. But, as you can see, from a martial arts standpoint, he's an amateur. And I, Hercule, the greatest fighter in the world, will crush that fake with my little finger. Now, yell if you love me!

Krillin:
(viewing Hercule on television) Eh, man that guy's a real moron.

Trunks:
Gohan, did your father tell you anything?

Gohan:
Eh?

Trunks:
We've all heard Goku say that Cell is stronger than he is and that Cell has no weaknesses. So why is he acting so cheerful?

Gohan:
I've asked my dad and he hasn't told me anything. All he says is "don't worry."

Trunks:
Don't worry...!?

Krillin:
I don't know. I mean, if that's what he said, maybe he really does have some plan to defeat Cell.

Piccolo:
Or maybe he's in denial.

Cell:
(waiting for the tournament to begin) How boring. I should not have given them this long.

Krillin:
(after watching Gohan and Dende studying) All this homework...this is giving me bad flashbacks...from algebra class.

Hercule Satan:
So, you wanna know what I'm gonna do to Cell? Exactly the same thing I'm gonna do to this bus! (Hercule punches a hole through a bus)

General Tao:
Now just give up the Dragon Balls nice and slow and then go away or this is going to get very ugly.

Goku:
Huh? Hey, General Tao! Is that you?

General Tao:
Pardon?

Goku:
Remember me? My name's Goku.

General Tao:
Go-ku?

Goku:
We've had our differences, but it's good to see you again.

General Tao:
(after performing a cybernetic scan with his visors to confirm it's Goku) Why me? Why?

Vodka:
(after Goku shatters the protective shield surrounding Vodka and his men) General! Please...make...him...go...away!

General Tao:
Well, I'm feeling a bit...sick today.

Vodka:
(after Tao tricks Goku into playing with puzzle rings) General Tao, you're my new hero.

General Tao:
I know, Mister Vodka. I know.

Hercule Satan:
I'd like to give Cell my condolences. It's too bad my unworthy opponent didn't know that I existed before he started this tournament of his.

Announcer:
Anything else?

Hercule Satan:
I'll give him one last chance to back out. He might think he's a champ, but he's just a chump!

Master Roshi:
(about Hercule, after watching Hercule act out in front of Cell on television) You know, it might be fair if he gets killed!

Announcer:
(to Vegeta) So, who are you and what are you doing here? And if you've just come to watch, back away from the ring before you get hurt.

Vegeta:
Quiet. I've had enough of your insolence. Get out of my face!

Announcer:
(to Hercule, about Vegeta) If you ask me, that guy's totally nuts. Have any thoughts, champ?

Hercule Satan:
Uh...well...he's probably just one of my fanatical fans.

Announcer:
But how? How is it physically possible for all of them to fly?

Hercule Satan:
Heh...I guess that trick's very popular today...

Goku:
Okay then. Let's get this thing going. And if you want, I'll be first.

Trunks:
Goku, you don't have to be the first one to fight.

Goku:
What do ya say, Vegeta?

Vegeta:
Be my guest. We all know it will be me who ends up finishing Cell.

Announcer:
So, let's set the scene...the first up will be Mister Satan, who of course will win and then the Earth will be saved from total destruction.

Caroni:
Maestro, please...let us take care of him. There's no point in your fighting this...sissy.

Pirozhki:
I will crush him up!

Hercule Satan:
Hmm...you're right. It could be a little embarrassing for me to take on such an amateur as Cell.

Caroni:
(to Cell, while holding a bouquet of flowers) As this is the first chance we've had to fight or what not, I'll be gentle. (sniffs the flowers, tosses them into the air, jumps up and performs a few combos in midair to the flowers, allowing the sliced petals to fall to the ground) Those are for you. A bouquet for your funeral.

Caroni:
(to himself) I wonder how many women are watching me right now...

Cell:
(to himself, about Hercule) His ignorance is painful.

Hercule Satan:
(after breaking some ceramic tiles) Cell, you see these pieces of busted tile on the ground...heh heh...well that's what I'm gonna do...to your face!

Cell:
As I'm sure you know by now, I've been waiting for this. Killing the helpless quickly grows old. Heh heh. I'm counting on you for amusement while I test my body.

Goku:
I hear you're designed to use all of our techniques against us.

Cell:
Perfection.

Vegeta:
(about Hercule) That ridiculous man hasn't realized his weakness. His stupidity is beyond belief.

Hercule Satan:
(about Goku) Well, if I were fightin' that twerp, I'd bend him into a pretzel and eat him for lunch...but lucky for him, I'm on a strict diet.

Cell:
(to Goku) Little by little, I shall reveal to you...the perfect power that lies within me.

Hercule Satan:
They keep on cheating with these second grade illusions. They clearly have no respect for the martial arts.

Announcer:
Let's get a professional opinion from Earth's greatest fighter. What do you think of this action packed match so far, Mr. Satan?

Hercule Satan:
Uh...not bad. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Announcer:
Uh, thanks. Mr. Satan, ladies and gentlemen...a man of few words but with large fists.

Hercule Satan:
(after Cell splits into four separate bodies and attacks Goku at the same time) This is the best magic trick I've ever seen.

Goku:
There's no way you can beat me with your stolen fighting techniques. Now, give up.

Cell:
Hmph. No, not yet. It's over when I say it's over.

Goku:
(after Goku dodges a Kamehameha from Cell) You know, that blast would've completely destroyed the Earth if I hadn't flown up and diverted it.

Cell:
Yeah, maybe so. But I knew you would do something heroic to save it.

Goku:
Heh heh. Oh I see, so you were counting on me.

Cell:
Well don't get the wrong idea. I don't care one bit about this planet or its filthy people. But without it, there'd be no one to kill!

Cell:
(Cell appears behind Goku) Am I too fast for you, Goku?

Hercule Satan:
(about Goku and Cell) There they are! They're right there in the ring. (Pointing to a crack on the ground) They're hiding in that broken part over there. It's another one of their tricks.

Dende:
There's trouble down there but I can't seem to focus on it. My mind is too clouded.

Mister Popo:
Dende, you sure remind me of Kami. He used to stand in that very same spot as he tried to make sense of the Earth.

Dende:
Did he really?

Mister Popo:
Oh yes. (pause) There's no need to be upset. Like the former guardians before you, it will take some time before you are comfortable with your new role as guardian of the Earth. Just relax, Dende. Stop doubting your own abilities and start listening with your mind. Calm your thoughts. Now, what do you see?

Dende:
The tournament is still on. It's a fierce battle.

Mister Popo:
See, you did it.

Dende:
Yes. Thank you Mister Popo. I know I'll never be able to replace Kami but I will try my best. I promise. I just wish there was something more that I could do. I feel so helpless. This tournament will decide the fate of the Earth and all I can do for now is watch and leave it to Goku. I may be this planet's guardian, but he is its hero.

Android 16:
It is time for all of you to evacuate...right now.

Announcer:
I don't think so, pal. This show must go on. Besides, we still have to let our champion have his shot at Cell.

Cell:
Now the whole desert is our ring. Let's say the last one standing wins the game.

Goku:
I see. So it's a fight to the finish.

Cell:
Would you have it any other way?

Goku:
No, I guess not.

King Kai:
(to Gregory and Bubbles) Say, would either of you care to make a wager on this tournament?

Announcer:
Cell has come out swinging and the unknown challenger seems to be using his face to block. That's gotta hurt.

Caroni:
(after Hercule slams face first into a boulder and gets stuck) Maestro, are you okay? Shall I give you a hand?

Hercule Satan:
(while stuck in the boulder) Uh, no. No problem here. Just gettin' warmed up, that's all.

Piiza:
What a man! Hercule, you are something else getting warmed up for battle like that! So that's how you do it! That's how you keep in such great shape!

Hercule Satan:
(still stuck) You know me...always ready for action.

Cell:
Are you feeling tired, Goku? You've lost a lot of strength. Heh heh heh. Why don't you take a breather? Perhaps one of those senzu beans would help you.

Piccolo:
(after Trunks suggests that Goku take a senzu bean) We will wait.

Trunks:
We'll wait for what? He needs a senzu bean!

Vegeta:
Quiet, boy! Where is your honor!? Like all pure-blooded Saiyans, Kakarot would rather die fighting than win with one of those disgraceful senzu beans as his crutch! Kakarot trained in the hyperbolic time chamber just as we did! Now let's see what he can do!

Trunks:
No, we can't. Goku doesn't have the strength. Don't you see what will happen if he keeps going like this?

Vegeta:
If this goes on...then he will die.

Trunks:
Uh!

Tien:
Uh!

Yamcha:
Uh!

Vegeta:
But, that will be his decision. It is painfully clear at this point that no one among this group is stronger than Kakarot is. Not even myself. So he deserves to have the fight of a true warrior. And that means...to the death!

Trunks:
While we all just stand here and watch? I won't be part of it!

Vegeta:
Aren't you the one who has never stopped talking about how great a hero Kakarot is? If you have so much faith in him, then wait and see what he will do.

Cell:
(to Goku) I can feel your power slipping away, Goku. I don't think you can last much longer. Heh heh heh heh. You know it's hardly worth my effort to finish you off now, but I wouldn't want to disappoint the television audience because I know they want to see a real champion. The next battle we engage in will be your last, Goku.

Vegeta:
(to himself) What are you thinking, Kakarot? There must be a plan behind all this...this insanity!

Goku:
I may be giving up, but that doesn't mean the tournament's over. There's still one more person for you to fight.

Cell:
You're not serious! Who? One of them!? And exactly which one of these pitiful specimens did you have in mind, Goku? Who? Trunks, Piccolo, Vegeta? Please, don't waste my time.

Cell:
(to himself, about Goku) Disappointing. He promises me a challenge and he gives me nothing but a child!

Krillin:
(to Goku, after Goku tosses a senzu bean to Cell) Okay, it's official! You've completely lost it!

Goku:
Look, Cell's kind of worn out right now. It just wouldn't be fair if Gohan beats him when he isn't at his best, you know.

Yamcha:
That...that's Cell up there! Who really cares about being fair!?

Cell:
(to himself, about Goku) Heh heh heh heh heh. What a fool. Doesn't he realize...? The only thing he's managed to do here is ensure his son's demise.

Cell:
(to Gohan) Well, I'll give you this. You certainly are brave. And loyal too. Not many sons are willing to die fighting their father's battles, you know. Your devotion really is most admirable.

Cell:
Good fight, kid. But I'm afraid to say, like all good things, it must come to an end.

Piccolo:
Goku, you fool. We told you this would happen. We told you. But you wouldn't listen to us! Well, maybe you'll hear this. Your son's dead, Goku. He's dead!

Gohan:
We don't have to do this. This fight, Cell...it's meaningless.

Cell:
Huh? Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha! You sound just like your father! Do you honestly think I'll stop my Cell games just because you think they're meaningless?

Gohan:
Yes.

Cell:
Well, think again. Let me explain something to you. You have to fight. Unless you beat me here today, I'll destroy the Earth. Now how's that for meaning.

Gohan:
I'm telling you I don't wanna fight anymore, Cell. Even though you're evil...I really have no desire to kill you.

Gohan:
(to Cell) Krillin, my friend, was sinking to the bottom of that lake, dying. And Frieza, that cold-blooded monster was actually enjoying it. I couldn't control what happened next. I attacked. I didn't care that Frieza was the most powerful fighter in the universe. I didn't care that he had the ability to destroy entire planets with a single finger. All I knew was that I had to help my friend...and the only way to him was through Frieza.

Cell:
You see, Gohan, this hidden power of yours intrigues me, and now that I know about it, I'm determined to see it for myself!

Piccolo:
(Cell is crushing Gohan in a bear hug while Goku waits for Gohan to unleash his power) Gohan may have that power but it doesn't matter. He doesn't thirst for battle and mayhem. He's not a fighter like you!

Goku:
(Goku gets worried) Ah!?

Piccolo:
Do you want to know what he's thinking? He's not thinking about strength or about competition! He's wondering why his father is standing there letting him die! And so your son may be the most powerful person in the world but he's also a scared eleven year old boy. I'd rather die than wait!

Cell:
(to Gohan) Stubborn creature. You refuse to fight back despite all the pain that I inflict on you! Perhaps you'd respond better to the pain of your dear old friends!

Android 16:
(while squeezing Cell in a bear hug) I have a powerful explosive embedded deep in my body. It was intended to be a last resort. I am sorry that we androids have caused so much suffering here on the Earth. Cell, no matter how strong you have become...you will not survive this explosion!

Android 16:
(while squeezing Cell in a bear hug) Cell, you destroy life. You are a parasite to this planet. And I see now that this is the best way to destroy you. Dr. Gero's sick ambition to terrorize the world through us will ultimately be put to rest...by his own devices.

Cell:
(after blowing up Android 16 into pieces) 16. His petty existence proved Dr. Gero had his flaws.

Announcer:
Mister Satan...how is it?

Hercule Satan:
Huh?

Announcer:
Your dreadful stomach virus...how is it?

Hercule Satan:
You know, just because I don't scream and whine about it all the time like a little sissy...doesn't mean that it still isn't threatening my life!

Announcer:
Oh, well of course not.

Hercule Satan:
A stomach pain like this would've killed any normal man. I'm the only guy in the world with the strength to bare it!

Cameraman:
You know we can't keep filming...when we're torn into little pieces.

Announcer:
Yes, good point. What do ya say we get on out of here...our fans'll understand.

Pirozhki:
Maestro Satan, can we go with them?

Hercule Satan:
Go if you want, but a true champion never runs from danger.

Caroni:
So you're going to stay here?

Hercule Satan:
You bet. First I'll go to the hospital to fix my stomach of course. But then I'll return. Now, I am off to the doctor's so I can come back and win.

Android 16:
I thought you would be eager to help the planet. You are its greatest champion, are you not?

Announcer:
Mister Satan is the world champion of mankind, and that doesn't include monsters like you and Cell. You got it!?

Hercule Satan:
Hey, shut up! They might be monsters but I can crush them all with one hand!

Cell:
(to Cell Juniors) Hey! Hurry up now! First one with a kill wins a prize!

Android 16:
Gohan... let it go. It is not a sin to fight for the right cause. There are those who words alone will not reach. Cell is such a being. I know how you feel, Gohan. You are gentle, you do not like to hurt. I know because I too have learned these feelings, but it is because you cherish life that you must protect it...

Cell:
Uh. This sentimental downpour is killing me. It's so nice of you to help, 16. But I plan on doing this my way.

Android 16:
Please, drop your restraints. Protect the life I loved. You have the strength. My scanner sensed it. Just.... let it go... (Cell stomps his foot down on what remained of Android 16's head, killing him)

Cell:
Yet another fighter...you could have saved.

Gohan:
16, you loved life. You gave everything up to save it. And you were just an Android. I let you die...I can't do that...I won't watch anymore. I...I feel it slipping. And I won't watch this anymore! (Gohan erupts with rage)

Cell:
You are making the same mistake Trunks did, boy. Don't think you can beat me just by powering up.

Gohan:
(to Cell) I can never forgive you for what you've done.

Chi-Chi:
Oh my brave little warrior. He's too young to be fighting. He should be at home studying. But no, he had to listen to his father instead of me.

Ox King:
Hey! Your son Gohan is no longer a baby! Why, he's transcended Goku and now he's become an honorable Saiyan warrior. If you haven't figured it out by now, both your husband and your son are battling to save an entire planet! And without them, we have nothing! Oh sure, I wish it was me instead of him, but Gohan is the only hope we have left!

Hercule Satan:
No one's watching me! Don't they realize that I'm the real star of this show!? I'm the one who threw that guy's head over there! This is all because of me!

Vegeta:
After all the time we spent trying to kill these things, he does it in one blow!

Gohan:
(to a Cell Junior, right before slicing him in half) I said before, I could never forgive you!

Caroni:
Hey, let's get out of here Pirozhki. I'll simply die if I lose any more teeth!

Vegeta:
(to himself) No! This is maddening! It's bad enough that Kakarot has surpassed me in power, but now his son has too!?

Cell:
Don't get too confident, for I have yet to show you young warrior what I'm truly capable of. But you will see soon enough.

Gohan:
Can it.

Cell:
Huh!? Ah, a cheeky one. Well then, let's see how you fare against me when I fight at full strength!

Cell:
(after charging up to his maximum) So kid, are you impressed by what you see?

Gohan:
Is that all you've got?

Cell:
(after Cell is easily pummeled by Gohan, he begins to choke) He only...had two punches that made contact...so why am I so....so damaged?

Cell:
I will not be humiliated by a child! This has gone far enough! I am tired of playing these games! Grrr.... (to himself) This can't be happening. I am complete. It is impossible for a Saiyan child to defeat me! I am the ultimate fighter. I have no equal. Yet, somehow this one is different. Very well, if I must prove myself once again then so be it but this will be the last time. Grr...

Gohan:
What are you so afraid of Cell? Isn't this what you wanted? I warned you! I told you what would happen if you pushed me too far! But you didn't listen! You forced me to awaken my hidden power! And now that you've seen it, you're afraid...because you know that I'm going to destroy you!

Cell:
No! He's a boy! There's no way that little brat can be so strong!

Goku:
Gohan! You've got to take Cell down now before he can regenerate!

Gohan:
Take him down now? No, I think I'll wait. I'm going to let him suffer for a little while.

Cell:
(after getting rammed in the face by Gohan) Ugh! You're not a boy...you're a monster! (Gohan kicks Cell in the stomach and Cell begins to choke) What have you done to me!?

Announcer:
(holding a microphone) Oh my, I don't believe it! It looks like Cell has been damaged beyond repair! Is this the end!? Will that tough kid be declared the champ? Has he won the Cell game!?

Cameraman:
Uh...boss...the microphone is still broken.

Announcer:
Just great! This is such a shame. My voice has been silenced.

Cell:
(to Gohan, fearfully) Stay away from me, you monster!

Cell:
(to Gohan) Boy, this is the end for you! You thought you could beat me, but you can't! Ha ha ha! I'm going to blow myself up now! And I'm going to take you with me! Say goodbye to your precious planet!

Cell:
(to Gohan) Watch out! You might make me explode! You don't wanna make me upset! One little shock could set me off! Then it's bye bye Gohan...buh-bye Goku and so long Earth!

Cell:
(to Gohan) Ten more seconds and the Earth will be gone. I guess we'll call this game a draw!

Goku:
(Cell is about to explode) Hey, you put up a good fight, Gohan. I'm proud of you.

Gohan:
What? Daddy?

Goku:
Take care of your mother for me. She needs you. Tell her that I had to do this, Gohan.

Gohan:
Ah!

Goku:
Goodbye, my son.

Piccolo:
Goku!

Cell:
No! Don't! (Goku uses his instant transmission to teleport the exploding Cell away from Earth)

Gohan:
No! Come back!

Krillin:
Goku!!!!!

Vegeta:
Uh!

Piccolo:
Ah!

Trunks:
Uh!

Yamcha:
Ah!

Tien:
Uh!

King Kai:
(Goku teleports to King Kai's planet with the exploding Cell) Ahhhh!!!! Goku! What have you done? Are you out of your mind?

Goku:
Sorry guys. This is the only place I could think to bring him.

King Kai:
Well, you could've called first!

Cell:
Ahhhhh!!! Aughhhhhhh!!! (Cell explodes, killing Goku, King Kai, Bubbles, and Gregory along with him)

Gohan:
One thing I learned from my father is to never give up, even when the odds are stacked against you.

Vegeta:
(to himself, after Trunks is fatally wounded by Cell's blast) How could I let this happen to my son? He has sacrificed everything for me! And I have done nothing but ignore him! No! I won't give up on him! There is still time to change things! Cell has crossed me for the last time! He has tricked me in battle, mocked my Saiyan ancestry, but this...this time he's gone too far...he will pay the ultimate price...for what he has done to my son!

Vegeta:
At last...it's over.

Cell:
Wrong. It's over when I say it's over! (Cell smacks Vegeta away with one jab)

Cell:
(after injuring Vegeta and Gohan) Why would Gohan sacrifice himself to save Vegeta? Hm...I will never understand the ways of these Saiyans. (Gohan and Vegeta are lying next to each other, badly bruised) Look at them. They belong together. They are both so...weak!

Cell:
First I'll destroy you, then your friends, and then this worthless planet! But before I do, I want you to remember something! I will live forever!

Cell:
Ha ha ha ha ha ha! This place has been good to me, but all my feasting here is done! And I'd hate to leave without first cleaning my plate! Soon, it'll be nothing but a cloud of dust!

Vegeta:
(while bruised and lying on the ground) I've become completely useless on this battlefield! I'm making a total mockery of my Saiyan race! (struggling) I'm sorry Gohan. I am.

Gohan:
(to himself) Sorry? I never thought I'd hear that from Vegeta. He must be saying that, since he knows there's nothing we can do.

Cell:
Ultimate perfection...I have spent decades waiting for it and I thought after absorbing the androids, my game had been won...but now, only now do I understand what Dr. Gero meant by those words...ultimate perfection. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Dr. Gero:
(Android 17 holds some blueprints) Careful! Those are the blueprints for my ultimate android!

Android 17:
Ultimate android? I'm standing right here.

Dr. Gero:
Idiot! you won't even tread water against what I'm creating. Because unlike you, he won't rely on gears or computer chips. He'll be purely bio-mechanical. Now, unless you want me to push the button again, go back to your capsules and sleep!

Cell:
(about Gohan, after Gohan speaks to Goku telepathically) Look! He's been driven insane by his own fear!

Hercule Satan:
(about Cell and Gohan in their deadly clash) It's a trick! It's all a trick, I swear! Someday, I'll bring it all to light! I will!

Caroni:
I can't believe that you're still saying that!

Cell:
(to Gohan, after Gohan speaks to Goku telepathically) What on Earth are you mumbling about? Chanting a little prayer before you die?

Cell:
(to Gohan) You fool! Don't you realize yet you're up against the perfect weapon!?

Cell:
(after Krillin, Piccolo, Yamcha, and Tien attack Cell from behind) Why can't you people just stay down!?

Piccolo:
(while Gohan is struggling to defeat Cell) No Gohan, I won't let you die all alone out there, 'cause kid you were the first person to ever show me what it means to have a friend.

Cell:
Vegeta!

Goku:
NOW'S YOUR CHANCE!!!!

Piccolo:
(about Vegeta attacking Cell) That was brave, what you did.

Vegeta:
You can save your applause. Now go on, I don't need anybody's help.

Piccolo:
(smiling) Your call. (Piccolo leaves)

Vegeta:
(to himself, about Goku) He has beaten me completely. First by his own actions and then through his son's. And what has he left for me here? How? How could you die like that? How, Kakarot? I'll never have the chance...to prove my strength against you. You died without fear. What does that make of me? I am no warrior. And I will never fight again.

Announcer:
So where is Cell? Did you see what happened to him?

Hercule Satan:
Uh...oh...well...what if I said that...I defeated Cell singlehandedly! You believe me?

Cameraman:
Hey, some o' the equipment's still running.

Piiza:
Wow, Hercule! You really are a great, great man!

Caroni:
You hid your strength right until the end. You sure know how to give people a good show.

Announcer:
So, is it true you really beat him?

Hercule Satan:
Sure. Why wouldn't it be?

Announcer:
But, just how did you do it?

Hercule Satan:
Well, piece o' cake really. I just got so irritated with the light shows and the tricks, I shouted "Hey! I've had enough o' your light shows and tricks" and I just walked over there to Cell and I gave 'im a good chop! Ha ha! Ha ha ha! Yeah! Chop! Yeah!

Piiza:
(happy) Oh, Hercule.

Announcer:
But...then what...happened to the little boy and all his friends on the cliff?

Hercule Satan:
Chop! Yeah...hmm...well, they all thanked me kindly and went home, of course.

Chi-Chi:
(after hearing Mr. Satan's lies about defeating Cell) It's not fair! They deserve to know what Gohan did!

Ox King:
I know...

Yajirobe:
Yeah! Way to win one for the team!

Krillin:
Yajirobe?

Yajirobe:
Yeah, I was on my way to meet you guys but...my plane broke down. I really wanted to help.

Yamcha:
Oh, such bad luck.

Krillin:
Funny. It always happens to you.

Piccolo:
(to Android 18) You should thank Krillin, 18. He stayed at your side the whole time. After Cell spat you out.

Krillin:
(shy) Uh...ah...well, it was nothing really. I mean, I enjoyed it. I mean, I couldn't leave you there.

Gohan:
I got it!

Krillin:
Uh!

Gohan:
Krillin! You have a crush on Android 18, don't you!?

Krillin:
(smacks Gohan on the head) Thanks, Mister Smooth!

Yamcha:
What!? How could you? Krillin, she's a-

Tien:
You know she's an android, right pal?

Krillin:
Heh heh...heh heh heh heh...

Android 18:
Expect me to fall at your feet now? Big strong boy rescues me so I'm his forever, right? Not that easy. I was wrong about you, Krillin. (Android 18 leaves)

Krillin:
But...I...

Yamcha:
That ungrateful...! I can't stand that android! I'm gonna show her!

Tien:
I'm not so sure you could do that...

Piccolo:
We've wasted enough time here. Let's hurry up and summon the dragon so we can start undoing all the damage that Cell has done.

Mister Popo:
Yes, of course.

Gohan:
Yeah! That means Trunks'll come back and Dende and me! You'll have plenty of friends here so you won't even need a girl!

Krillin:
(sad) Leave me alone...

Tien:
Hey, you like the girl, right? So what's up? Why did you wanna wish that guy back too?

Krillin:
Well, I know it's strange...but I want her to be truly happy. And those two make such a good couple that I thought she'd be happier with him. Well, that's why.

Yamcha:
Dude, you're hopeless.

Piccolo:
If that's what you humans call love, count me out.

Android 18:
Time for bonus points.

Krillin:
Oh wow! There she is! How'd she get here?

Android 18:
Hey, boneheads! 17 is my twin brother!

Krillin:
Oh man...

Yamcha:
No, this is excellent, you dope! Didn't you hear her, that guy's her twin brother! Ha ha ha!

Android 18:
I wouldn't celebrate if I were you!

Krillin:
Uh...

Android 18:
If you think you won my heart because of that lousy wish, you're mistaken. I didn't ask for your help. (softer) But it was really nice of you.

Krillin:
It was...? You...you mean...you're not mad at me?

Android 18:
Not really...no.

Krillin:
Well then, would you like to come over and join us?

Android 18:
No thanks.

Krillin:
Aww man... (Android 18 dashes away)

Yamcha:
Aha ha! Ha! Whoah, Krillin! You are so in there! That chick digs you man! I can tell!

Krillin:
Are you sure?

Yamcha:
Yes, I'm sure. But she's a woman dude! Oh man! Like I say, she's a girl and there's no tellin' but I think you have a chance. Stick close to my advice and you'll do just fine. After all Krillin, it's my specialty. Trust me. Goku may have taught you how to be a great fighter, but when it comes to love, I'm the master! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Gohan:
Aha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!

Piccolo:
There's no comparison.

Yamcha:
I heard that. At least you're man enough to admit it, Piccolo. Fighting's relatively easy.

Chi-Chi:
(to herself, after Gohan and Ox King sneak out of the window for a break) Honestly, escaping through the window. How juvenile can they get? It won't last. They'll come crawling back right around dinner time. Uh huh.

Gohan:
(after easily pummeling a Pteradactyl who was trying to steal his fish) Man, what a feisty old bird.

Ox King:
Yeah, what an unlucky bird. First he runs into the strongest guy in the world in the middle of nowhere and then he tries to take his fish. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Hercule Satan:
(to himself) Ooh yeah. Hercule. Mister Satan. Who cares what they call me. I'm huge.

King Kai:
(about Hercule) I can't believe that guy. Taking all the credit for your hard work. It's despicable.

Goku:
He is a cheat. But you know what, he's a really good actor.

King Kai:
Well, I'm not amused. Imagine that face on a cereal box.

Goku:
Yeah man, I could see it now...Hercule puffs.

King Kai:
My...that is funny.

Trunks:
(to Bulma, about the androids) Nightmares never last, Mom. One day you wake up and they're gone.

Android 17:
Hey, it's you.

Trunks:
Yeah, it's me. The name's Trunks. Look, it's over. It stops here.

Android 17:
It does, huh? Trunks, don't you remember what happened last time? Nothing "stops here" except you.

Android 18:
Gosh, how rude. He is such an arrogant little punk. Man, that's it. I want him dead! It's a matter of principle.

Android 17:
I don't mind. Consider it done. (whispering to Android 18) But look sis...we'll be blowing weeks worth of fun...comprende?

Android 18:
I don't care. I need this. I've been in a bad mood all day.

Android 18:
(while being easily pummeled by Trunks) I hate you!

Trunks:
You hate the fact that you're powerless to stop me. That you're completely outmatched. Well, imagine feeling the way you do now all of the time like the people of this planet do. Fools. How do you think my master Gohan felt when you ganged up on him in the rain and he had no way out? Well, now it's your turn. I hope you enjoy it!

Trunks:
(Trunks senses Cell behind him) Hm? Hey, mom...would you mind going inside now?

Bulma:
What? Inside? But why? (comical) Ah...where is she, Trunks? I know you...who has a new girlfriend? Aha ha...

Trunks:
Mom.

Bulma:
(serious) Huh? Trunks? (Bulma runs away)

Trunks:
Come on out, Cell. I know you're here.

Cell:
Huh!?

Trunks:
You're so lame, sneakin' around like the boogeyman. What's your plan, Cell? To kill me and take my time machine to the past? You're having trouble finding the androids, huh? I bet you just long to absorb them.

Cell:
What!? How do you know all this?

Trunks:
I read your palm, big guy. You have a short lifeline.

Cell:
Grr...so, you're a joker, huh!? Well, I don't like your jokes. I subscribe to a different kind of amusement than you Earthlings.

Trunks:
Yeah, I know how you get your kicks, Cell. But it's not going to happen anymore and I'm going to see to that.

Cell:
You shouldn't be throwing your life away like this. No one will know. Just let me leave.

Trunks:
There is someone watching. And laughing. A friend of mine that you killed in the past. He's someone I could never let down.

Cell:
Don't worry. You'll be seeing your friend shortly.

Trunks:
We'll see about that.

Cell:
Yes we will. You won't be alone. There's a long list. Now you too will be a part of me. That's right. I'm going to suck you up. Your energy will be refreshing. A nice treat to start off my journey in the time machine.

Trunks:
Enough, you freak!

Cell:
Don't you shush me, you little punk!

Trunks:
You're overconfident, Cell.

Cell:
There's no reason not to be. I've come across thousands like you.

Trunks:
Yes you have. But count me as the last!