Fridays, Season 2

Lips:
[singing] Jimmy Carter is pretty ill

Brad Minor:
You call this a rally? Where's the wine, the cheese? Where's Jackson Browne?

Black militant:
[angrily ranting] The poor and oppressed people of this country must continue their heroic struggle of liberation against the racist, facist dogma and white lies, perpetrated by the priveleged protagionists of the imperialist power structure! AND I'M TALKING TO YOU, GRANDMA!!

Nat E. Dred:
Gimme ganja!

Inmate (Larry David):
What are these? Square trees? Have you ever in your life seen a square tree!? Is this kid crazy!? Does she live in the Bizarro World!? SQUARE TREES!!!

Michael Richards:
John Lennon's latest album, Double Fantasy became number one in the bullet... by Mark David Chapman!

Andy Kaufman:
They said I couldn't say 'crap', I just did!

Andy Kaufman:
I'm just a bad kid in school! Who wants to wrestle?!

Andy Kaufman:
I can't play stoned.

Andy Kaufman:
I feel stupid.

Jack Burns:
Bob, cut to commercial!

Brandis Kemp:
We like to thank the portion of Andy that happened here tonight.

Andy Kaufman:
[his taped apology] ABC wants you to know the truth. It was an experimental piece.... something different. This has been a very hard week for me. Because of last week's show, my job at Taxi was in Jeopardy.... my agent is having trouble convincing anybody to hire me. [to the audience] I think you laughing at it is pretty tasteless. Thanks to last week, I'm in separation with my wife... I was just trying to have fun. [weeps a little before helding them back] Maybe I went too far.

Pharmacist:
I've have grown!