Full House, Season 2

Danny:
Breakfast is ready. We're having pan... (sees Jesse's hair) ...cuts

Joey:
(upon seeing Jesse's new haircut) You went from Eddie Van Halen to Pee-Wee Van Herman.

(D.J. has brought her horse inside the house)

Joey:
Oh, this is great. Danny's going to walk in here, see this horse and blame me for the whole thing. Do you know why? Because this is *very* funny.

(laughs)

Jesse:
Danny's gonna flip his gourd. We gotta get this horse out of here.

Joey:
Well, how do we get him out?

Jesse:
We'll feed him, give him food. What does he eat?

Joey:
Hay.

Jesse:
We don't have any hay.

Joey:
Jess, you went to the market, and you didn't pick up any hay?

Stephanie:
Don't get me in trouble. Hide the tail!

D.J.:
I'll tell you what, if you can keep this secret for two weeks, I'll let you own part of the horse.

Stephanie:
Which part do I get?

D.J.:
The tail.

Stephanie:
My very own tail?

Danny:
I am stoked! Whatever that means.

Danny:
You watch Wake Up, San Francisco because it's nice, and easy. Well this morning, I had a little too much coffee, so we're gonna do it nice... and rough.

Nick:
(to Rebecca after she paid seventeen hundred dollars for Jesse in a date auction.) You know you could've had him for free.

[Jesse enters his room where D.J. is recording her own version of "The Locomotion"]

Jesse:
What are you doing?

D.J.:
The Locomotion.

[Jesse looks closely at the tape]

Jesse:
Where'd you get this tape?

D.J.:
It was in there.

Jesse:
Oh, no. [rewinds the tape] Please, tell me you didn't tape over my Casa de Pancakes jingle.

[after he's finished rewinding, he plays the recording on the tape of "The Locomotion", then to the end of...]

Jesse and Joey:
[on recording] Casa de Pancakes. OLE!

[Jesse disappointedly stops the tape]

Jesse:
I can't believe it! It's gone! You guys destroyed it! Now I'm gonna hafta do the whole thing over again.

Danny:
What happened?

Jesse:
Aw, they messed up my jingle tape. Joey's goin' away. I'm gonna hafta do this whole thing over again.

Danny:
Don'tcha think you're overreacting?

Jesse:
Overreacting? You think I'm overreacting?! I'm not overreacting! Okay?! I had this all worked out! I spent the whole night doin' it! Now my whole life is ruined! Okay. Now, I'm overreacting.

Danny:
Jess, ya lost your temper again. Huh?

Jesse:
Well, she shouldn't be in here-- [sighs] Ah, I'm just tired. I lost my cool. I did come down on her pretty hard. Didn't I? She'll be okay?

Danny:
I think you better straighten this out.

Jesse:
Yeah. All right. I know just how to handle this.

Danny:
Good. Jesse?

Jesse:
Huh?

Danny:
D'you need a hug?

Jesse:
Haven't I been through enough?

Young Jesse:
Hey! One at a time!

Sheldon:
There's the kid who was picking on me!

Miss Borland:
That's it, I'm calling your parents!

Young Joey:
But...

Young Danny:
Wait, Miss Borland. That boy's lying, Joseph has been a perfect angel.

Sheldon:
Tanner's the liar!

Miss Borland:
That's not possible! Daniel Tanner's never been in trouble a day in his life. Let's you and I visit the principal, Sheldon.

Young Joey & Young Danny:
Sheldon?

Sheldon:
(Looking at Young Joey & Young Danny)

Young Joey:
Thanks man, you saved my life!

Young Danny:
You saved me first.

Rebecca:
Dustin? You would name our child Dustin?

Jesse:
Yeah, you got a better name?

Rebecca:
I sure do... Emily.

Jesse:
No son of ours is gonna be named Emily.

Rebecca:
Our daughter's name is Emily. Our son's name is Prescott.

Jesse:
Prescott? Might as well name him Emily. Our son is gonna be called Dustin.

Rebecca:
Prescott.

Jesse:
Dustin!

Rebecca:
Prescott!

Jesse:
Dust... When did we have a kid?

Rebecca:
Well, we better get going. You don't wanna miss your plane.

Connie:
You're right, it might accidentally take off on time. Come on, Howie, wake up. It's time to go.

Michelle:
Howie, no go.

Danny:
Howie, yes go. Howie go back home.

Michelle:
Me go.

Danny:
[imitates an Indian] No, little Kemo Sabe. No can go to Nebraska. Take many moons.

Linda:
Hasta luego.

Danny:
Ah... El Pollo Loco!

DJ:
Dad, you got to do something; listen to my report card. It's so unfair! A-A-A-A-A-A...

Joey:
How dare they! This is an outrage!

DJ:
Listen to my Spanish grade-D

Danny:
A D in Spanish?

Joey:
Que pasa?

DJ:
Huh?

DJ:
You have the brain of a paramecium.

Stephanie:
If I have the brain of a paramecium, then you have the brain of just one mecium.

DJ:
(to Jesse) There really is no way to beat her, is there?