Grounded for Life, Season 2

Sean (about Lily):
Only three more years...

Claudia:
Til she goes away to college?

Sean:
No. Until she can be tried as an adult.

(After finding out Brad took the car)

Jimmy:
He's the last person I'd suspect!

Claudia:
Yeah, he's so nice!

Henry:
Plus, he's such a doofus.

Lily:
This is why I don't tell you things, cuz you over react!

Sean:
I am not over-reacting. The appropriate reaction would be to swing you around by your hair!

Walt (to Brad):
We're just gonna go have a little sit-down with your old man.

Brad:
He's gonna kick my ass!

Walt:
That salad shooter? He doesn't have the stones.

Brad:
I don't know what that means.

Walt:
I'll explain it to you on the way out.

Walt (to Sean):
You gotta learn to control your frustrations.

Sean:
This from the man who spent half his life screaming at appliances.

Walt:
I was hoping for more from you.

(When Walt pours some Apple Cider for himself and Henry)

Henry:
This tastes funny.

Walt:
Whoa! This cider's turned

Henry:
Turned into what?

Walt:
Into grown up cider.

Henry:
I don't like it.

Walt:
Well, that's good because we have a family history of liking it.

Sean:
Ooh, an armoire.

Claudia:
That's what they call it.

Sean:
(in French accent) Oh, then we should buy this "armoire"' and put it in the "boudoir" next to the "toilette". Ooh-la-la.

Eddie:
A goat and a sheep, that could be dangerous. They could spawn a hybrid creature with the strength of a goat and the cunning of a sheep.

Sean:
I don't want Henry thinking "sexuality" is a dirty word.

Walt:
What are you talking about? It is the mother of all dirty words. All the other dirty words come from it.

Eddie:
I can think of one that doesn't. Oh no, that links up too.

Sean (about Henry):
Why'd they put him in 219? He's not a problem kid.

Eddie:
We weren't problem kids. We just marched to a different drummer.

Claudia:
You were in 219?

Eddie:
I started 219.

Claudia:
Sean, I don't want my baby in 219.

Sean:
You think I do?

Eddie:
I became a man in 219.

Eddie (to Held Back Kid):
Hey, that's a nice tattoo. Did you do that yourself?

Held Back Kid:
Yeah.

Eddie:
Why are you so into "Satin"?

Held Back Kid:
It says "Satan."

Eddie:
You don't win the spelling bees, do you?

Sean (to Claudia):
Why do you keep your bridesmaid dresses?

Claudia:
They're expensive!

Sean:
Well, so is pot!

Claudia:
Yes, but I'm not worried the kids are going to find them.

Sean:
Aren't you forgetting something?

(Flashback to Henry bouncing on a bed in a dress)

Henry:
I'm a lady! (blows a kiss)

Claudia (to Sean):
Be careful!

Sean:
Oh, thank you! That's the one thing I forgot, to be careful with a saw thirty feet up in the air.

Claudia:
You're welcome. When you go to the hospital, make sure you bring your arm.

Dan (to Sean):
The ham's getting COLD and the beer's getting WARM.

Sean:
Then why don't you try wrapping your HAM around your BEER! (goes inside)

Dan:
That might work!

Lily:
Yeah! Well...I read somewhere that compulsive shopping was a disease!

Sean:
Cholera is a disease. Compulsive shopping is something a 16 year-old does when she wants to look cute for a party and someone gives her a credit card.

[Sean turns to face Claudia]

Sean:
Hello, Rochelle? No, I do not want to give you my account number and I shall tell you why: because I have already keyed it in three times and given it to several different people including a Beth, a José, and someone who was really rude to me named Kevin. And I think I speak for all Americans when I say that we are SICK of having to call something in and key in the number and then being asked what the number was we keyed in before! Alright? So why don't you get a piece of paper - have you heard of that? And a pen AND WRITE THE DAMN NUMBERS DOWN!

Claudia:
Your dad is gonna freak when he sees his car....Th-th-that car reeks.

Sean:
Yeah, my dad works in a dump, if he had a sense of smell, he'd be dead by now.

Eddie:
Hey! I was in the ScienceNauts!

Sean:
Oh yea, I remember.

Nun:
Edward, Last month the school's electricity bill was extremely high, and I have yet to see one tomato!

[Eddie and two other boys are standing around marijuana plants.]

Eddie:
Don't worry, Sister, I think I see one budding.

[end flash back]

Walt:
How come I never got one of those tomatoes?