Grounded for Life, Season 5

Claudia:
I'm naming this baby Ass Jr.

Sean:
You always say that.

Eddie:
Look at that man I told you, you touched somebody.

Jimmy:
Yep, and I'm gonna touch her again on Friday.

Lily:
(bitterly) Yes.

Sean:
No. Not no "yes", Yes "yes"!

Lily':
(bitterly) Okay.

Sean:
No! Not no "okay", Yes "okay"!

Lily:
OKAY!

Lily:
Why don't you just knock me up in high school like my dad did to my mom?!

Claudia:
We talked, you know, on the phone, about that thing with Jimmy and your daughter.

Adrianna:
He stalked her relentlessly for a month.

Claudia:
He's at that age.

Lily:
I guess I'm not as stupid as you thought I was, huh?

Brad:
I guess not. I mean… I never thought you were stupid, I thought you were pretty… I'll just let myself out.

Sean:
Hey babe, I wrote a letter to the Home Owner's Association. Could you read it and tell me what you think?

Claudia:
Sure... (Reading letter) "I, Claudia Finnerty, am a lying sack of lying lies... P.S. I am also crazy."

Jimmy:
You guys really don't have to do this.

Lilly:
Okay then, let's throw away this garbage and fire away some cow flesh.

Eddie:
(about what to give Lily) You can't go wrong with apparel.

Brad:
That's what I was thinking. What if I, What if I printed my picture on a sweat shirt?

Eddie:
I'm talking about nice apparel, a nightgown or underwear.

Brad:
I could put my picture on some underwear!!

Eddie:
Got it. So if you're not smoking pot, why were you laughing at The Teletubbies?

Jimmy:
(laughing slightly) Oh, Dipsy tripped over Po and landed in the flower garden.

Jimmy:
I don't think so. Brian this is my team now.

Brian:
I've been gone less than a week.

Jimmy:
Well (while doing cheer motions)T-O-O B-A-D Too bad!

Brian:
I invented those moves.

Jimmy:
Yeah well I made them mine, pal! SO back off!

Brian:
No way! You'll never have the pep I have.

Jimmy:
Hey! Talk to the pom-poms!

Claudia:
You tricked all those people in to coming to my baby shower, so you could unload your failing bar on a crazy woman?

Sean:
Yea, I would have tricked your friends too, if they where around.

Claudia:
(on phone in hospital bed) Yeah, Mom, she's seven pounds, six ounces. Oh yeah she's very cute. No I can't put her on the phone. First of all because she's one hour old. Second of all the nurses took her for some tests. (Sean walks in) Hey, listen, Sean's back so um tell Dad I love him.

Sean:
Hey babe.

Claudia:
Hey!

Sean:
Hey babe, I brought some balloons for the baby.

Claude:
Hey great she'll love them.

Mara:
Is this seat taken?

Walt:
No Ma'am!

(Laughing, hugging and kissing)

Eddie:
(to Claudia and Sean) See this kinda thing might have tipped us off.

Claudia:
How can our daughter be graduating from High School, huh? We're too young for this. It seems like we just graduated from this place remember?

Sean:
Oh yeah, I remember. You were pregnant with Lily and you wanted me dead.

Claudia:
Well you knocked me up for Lily's graduation too. Sort of a poetry to that, don't you think?

Sean:
Maybe a dirty limerick.

Brad:
Wow can you believe this will be the last time we'll be in this hallway?

Lily:
We have to come back tomorrow to give back our caps and gowns.

Brad:
No no that's outside the cafeteria. This is going to be the last time we'll be here, in this hallway, outside Annex Two.

Walt:
Hey, son, that seat's saved.

Eddie:
For who?

Walt:
Somebody asked me to save a seat.

Eddie:
You're saving a seat for a stranger?

Walt:
I'm saving a seat for my girlfriend, ok? Wow! The ads in this program are in color!